Being in bed for the whole day yesterday, I tried at least to steal a sleep from the @#%$@%^ pain that I had. Every month! Never missed even one single f***ing month! And funny thing is I never get used to it. Darn! Oh sorry. This is not what this blog is about. Have to forget about this.
Anyway, some b2b's (bride-to-be) almost instantly tells you they had weird dreams about their wedding even if it's still a year away. Weird in a way that they have been doing the preparations for a year and their dreams turned out to be a disaster like you never even bother to do one single task. Mine's different. Maybe it has something to do with me browsing the wedding pictures of some w@wies. With them walking down the aisle with their dear parents. This worries me maybe because my parents have been seperated for almost 14 years now. Our family just got complete last year for the sake of my first Christmas in the Philippines since Ive been away. Nothing much to say to go into details of what happened after that because there's none. Now, that one thing in my life that's so important to me will be happening in exactly 9 months time, my Mom asked me if Im going to invite him. Invite him to be my father on my wedding day? Funny hehe but as far as I can remember, during my simple debut party at our home hosted by my nanay (my auntie on mother's side), he wasn't invited but he was there outside our home. He wasn't able to go inside because most of our relatives, mother's side, especially my mom, wouldn't allow him. I was feeling a lot of emotions that time. Happy that he went to see me inspite of what happened. Sad that he was there but he wasn't really. Angry too for what he did. But I still went out to see him and thank him for coming. I just don't exactly remember if I brought food for him. But this is one thing that I like about my mom. Through her pain, she never even once told us to hate our father. Or to never speak to him again. And now, that this wedding is going to happen, the decision is up to me only. Yesterday, I had a reverie that I was in the philippines. Then I saw him on the street walking, to which I casually told him about my wedding and he's invited. That's it. I woke up after that. No drama or action effect. But I am not sure why I had a dream like this when i've already decided that I will be inviting him. Hmmmm.
