A Sign

I’m a very emotional person and I guess I wouldn’t argue with someone if they tell me that I am so dramatic. But I’ve never rely or believe in signs. Like those people who asked for them so they’ll feel that their questions or prayers has been answered. I guess it’s more of assuring themselves that they we’re not being ignored. But last night, it somehow turn me into a believer. While sadness is eating me up again remembering baby Nathan, I couldn’t help but cry. Accepting something like this is not at all easy. Tears will always well up for just any reason. The sadness will always be part of me now. The thing is, when we are already sad, we have this habit of listening to sad songs or looking at the old photos or going back to the memories that makes us even more melancholic. Or like me, visiting google and typing great poems for bereavement. Isn’t it pathetic? Maybe not. I guess, we are only trying to find a way to release the desolation we’re feeling through tears. And I was glad when I stumble upon this beautiful poem I posted on my blog last night. While reading, a black small butterfly was flying around the room. We don’t have any idea where it came from. I was happy. And first thing that came into me is baby Nathan. But suddenly, Cheska cried as she got scared. The I said to the butterfly: “if it’s you baby nathan, thank you. don’t worry about us now. We love you. you”. We opened the door of our room and it didn’t flew out. I said again, “You can go now baby. Your achie is really scared. Thank you” Moment later, we never saw the butterfly again. Thank you Lord for putting hope into our hearts and looking at small irrelevant things as our way out of our grief for a while. This kind of things may sound funny or total coincidence for others, but it means a lot to me. I won’t call it a sign but rather a ray of sunshine in a very dim tunnel.