"SOMETIMES IT ONLY TAKES ONE GOOD SONG TO BRING BACK THOUSANDS OF GOOD, OLD MEMORIES"
And some old memories makes you wonder why it didn't stay that way today? Whenever I looked back, I couldn't help compare what was life for me then than what it is to me now. It has indeed taken a giant leap. Along with it, I couldn't help but think about the times how rhonny started. From pa-cute moments to ligawan blues to the sweetest first few years of their togetherness. They always wanted to spend their time together. He go home late just to be with her. She thinks of extra ordinary thoughtful ways to show him how much he mean to her. Then it changed. Somehow, all that tooth-aching sweetness ebbs away along with the number of years they have been together. I know that people do really change. But I never thought that feelings do too. Don't get me wrong, love is stronger for rhonny now. But the way it was is really gone. Scary thing is, I don't think it will be coming back again. Or maybe I'm just being a sentimental fool to think that sweetness doesn't grow old? I will still hope though. I don't want this kind of relationship now. I want romance and sweetness to be brought back. Don't be alarmed. I am looking for this with the same one I've shared a lot of things with for 14 years and the same one I've exchanged vows with 5 years ago. I don't want to be loved forcefully or just because it's a responsibility. I want to be loved the same way I felt 14 years ago. I want to be looked at like I am the only girl in this world. I want to be hugged and kissed in the forehead at public places like it used to be. I want to always feel his hands next to mine whenever we are together like the way it was. I want to see again that fear in him of losing me anytime. I want to see again in his eyes that I am perfect the way I am without comparing me to any big boobs, sexy abs and pretty face FHM models. I don't want to be just his wife, I want to be THE wife. Is it asking too much? I'm not asking for any additional effort. I'm just wishing that in terms of being affectionate and showing his love for me, the clock will turn back to 14 years ago. Sigh. Or maybe accepting what is in front of me now will at least alleviate the ache.
If you happen to read this when I'm already gone, don't worry. You have been a perfect husband to me. I'm just being me - uncontented and selfish wife. And I'm not being sarcastic. I'm just hoping good things were not changing.
