I used to envy the inanimate objects and nonhuman life forms I see around me. To me, they were lucky not to feel the emotional and physical pain in this world. They don't need to think of others just because it is appropriate. They never experience any tribulations in life. They don't need to show strength amidst of every challenges they face, if ever they face one. I just thought about the trees standing there swaying whenever there's wind, growing depending on the humans taking care of them. I thought of all the buildings and the houses on how humans depend on them for shelter and they don't need to be strong for the humans as the humans were the one who created them.
But then again, I guess it's not just those who doesn't breath or walk or talk. There are people who were born like me, but still leads a very different life than mine. And there are those who thought that I was the lucky one and living a better life than them. Funny thing is, each time I faced challenges in life, I tend to compare my life to others who's leading their life better than mine. I sulk, I whine, I cried "unfair" and ask God "why". Though I must say that the more I release my pain through those feebly gestures, I tend to think about things clearly. I tried my best to see the goodness of every trial or at least learn something from it. I couldn't say that each had made me stronger. They still all have an impact in my life and crushed my heart with so much sadness. And with what was laid on the table before me now made me go through this dreaded phase again, I know that in time, I will still be able to get up just like I used to. Of course, I wouldn't be this strong if not for GOD's help and the people He sent as my angels to guide me. Right now, inspite of the messy state, I couldn't help but still be thankful of this wonderful blessing that He had given us. I just hope we'll remain stronger. Just enough to go through this chapter but not too much to create repugnance towards life.
