Bespren

I'm sure many of us even once in their life had a friend who stood among the rest.
One who's special in so many ways.
One who knows what you are inside and out and what you want in life.
One who doesn't just sends you YM inspite of the thousand miles difference.
One who makes you feel that there's still that someone who cares about you.
One who cries with you when you're down.
One who laughs with you.
One who gets mad at you when you did something wrong but still loves you the same.
One who embraces you when all your troubles were so hard to take in.
One who makes you smile with their silly remarks.
One who will never make you feel those insecurities you have in you.
One who knows that a "hot choco" makes you feel a lot better.
One who inspite of those missing years with total blackness of communication and suddenly appears back in your life and felt like it's just been a day.
One who's smile brightens up your day.
One you think of when you're looking back at those years when you were still younger.

That one person who's not perfect but makes you one when you're together. Someone who fits that missing puzzle in your life. And I thank God that for every chapter of my life, I have gained a lot of those kinds and though I'm not better at keeping them they still make me feel somehow that I am a part of their life. I just hope I'm as good as them in letting them know they matter to me. =)

One's assessment

i've reached a quarter of my life 

and i thought of what have happened in the past 

the things ive done, 

the things i didn't do 

the dreams and achievements 

and the endless quandaries 

what have i become in all those years? 

have i done things that could make Him proud of me? 

did i make my mom proud? 

did my family felt the warmth of my love for them? 

have i failed to show my love for the people around me? 

in all those years, each time i looked back 

i saw things that i failed to be a better person 

things that at times deprives me of my willingness to go on 

things that i blame others for not understanding me 

when all sides of it is really wrong 

things that made me lost a lot because i let them happen 

and yet there were things too, that made me stronger 

things that i always looked forward to each day of my life 

things that at times make me proud of what ive become 

things that made me greatful for what others have done to me 

those precious little things that make me see the goodness of life 

maybe life isn't just how you make it to be 

it's already designed the way He wanted it to be 

it's up to you how you would play your part 

and how you would live things the way it's all laid up

Sweetest Moment

When things are unexpected
Or moments are not planned
When you don't have to be at your best
Or wear something finest
Relish the moments
Capture them in your heart
You'll never know
When this will happen again

Juanang Tamad

If only I could just stay at home
watch movie or sleep all day
surf the net or redecorate our room
finish my scrapbooks and album our photos

If only I could just wake up when i want to
and feel the sheets in my bed
call up all my friends I've missed
and chat all day long

If only I could just shop all the things I want
and frantically take all that glitters
ill buy bags and clothes and shoes
all of them under designer labels

If only I could just choose things i want
like who to work for and what kind of job to do
my time won't be wasted and boring as hell
each would be spent on a meaningful things

If only I could just be contented
with all the things around me
and be thankful that i have a job
that feeds my family and myself

I guess im only yearning for a rest
just like everybody else
a time for my family
and a time for myself
enough to fill up all the time i've missed
until it satiates the emptiness within

Home

he was once lost, unable to find the way
stumble upon a place, baffled, he dwells

life was a moment bliss, utterly inexplicable
through its perplexities, he tried to grasp
accepting amiss, defying the intricacy it convey

but amidst of it all, he resolutes to cease
heart is aching, there is no forever
impaired and shabby, he rise and stride

unleashing its exquisiteness, he grieves
but now without complexities, he's finally home...

One of those days

how do u get over of something that depresses you?
you talked about your feelings, they give you advise
but does it make any difference or was it the same thing?

is happiness only over rated?
do u have to feel the pain to have a taste of glee?
can't we just live life full of euphoria?

only you can make your life easier without any complications
only you can lighten up the burden you're carrying on ur back
do you reckon the things that could really let you feel the bliss?

you divulge it to people, you write to your blog
did it solve any of it, or did you just whisper to the wind?

Abril

abril na.
panibagong buwan.
panibagong pahina na naman ng kalendaryong pipilasin ko.
narito pa rin ako.
nagiintay.
umaasang nawa'y mapansin mo sa kahit anong paraan.
lahat ng ingay ginawa ko na, narinig mo ba ako?
ikaw lang ang iniintay ko.
marami mang dumating, ikaw pa rin ang iintayin ko.
... dumating man ang disyembre, ikaw at ikaw pa rin.

Hello Again

unexpectedly u see someone u once knew
time stopped, contemplating what u feel
was it bliss? was it pain?
or was it something of mixed emotions?
that moment u wanted to say hi
but something held u, decided not to
abruptly u were brought back to the past
and everything that u tried to disregard
all came apparently and vividly
and so u asked urself only one question
why do i have to run into you?


"There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some love that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity. Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever." - Ally McBeal

Koks

it's not everyday
that i meet people like u
someone i can keep
someone i can call friend

a friend who makes me laugh
when nothing but frown paints my face

a friend who tells me bluntly
when my mood swings & being childish

a friend whom i'll run to
when i need someone to talk to

a friend who listens to me whine
a friend who values my opinion
a friend who considers me as one

for all the good times we shared
for all the sharings weve had
for all the inspirational thoughts you impart
although not enough, thank you is all i can utter

one piece of advice:
don't just sit there and wait for things to happen. it never work that way. act on it.=) goodluck!

Poignant

heart's crushed
when you speak
amidst of sobs
unending mourn

i look up the sky i see rain
when will it stop? when will it end?
drenched and bushed rest i seek
serene mind harder to reach

i linger till the rain ends
each chapter never shines
this path i took always dim

How does it feel

have u ever wondered
what it feels like
to be somebody else but yourself?
to feel the touch of your own hands,
to hear your own voice when you're being sweet,
to feel the warmth of your own embrace,
to feel the gaze of your own eyes
to see the flaws and beauty of your being
to smell the sweet scent of your own perfume
to feel the touch of your own hair
to know the effect of your own presence
to feel the candour of your own sympathy

i wonder if i can do all these things
so i can see & change whatever it is that's missing
to give bliss to somebody deserving
and be perfect for that person im loving

Lost

a bouyant persona
that's who i am
nowhere to run to
adrift in the wilds

a glimpse of light
is the only guide
trying not to stumble
amidst of the rubble

a quandary i must face
vague of decisions
tattered compassion
trapped in oblivion

ahh, paradox of life
one cannot fathom
i seek the gist
but im simply lost

Spectre

there's a ghost inside me
that captivates my sanity
caused me unbearable pain
every night i cried in vain

the thought of you haunts me
that someday his eyes will see
your beauty, shining like a gem
with power stronger than stem

knowing you're around scares me
lurking through his beauty
like a dementor flying so free
taking away people's ecstacy

alongside's love is pain
pain caused by too much love . . .

A narrative of my own

if i could write a novel, it will be of my own
so other people will know of the things ive known
of how GOD works in His own mysterious ways
that only few can comprehend and see the rays

i would put the things that made me cry
of how i dealt and sometimes aim to fly
leave everything undone and run away
so anguish will get out of my way

i am not perfect and i am not strong
i give in to things that are so wrong
but GOD made me stumble from where i stand
He open my eyes to make me see where i will land

i will write not just for others to see
but a reminder that all throughout, GOD is with me
that pain and tears didnt leave me weak
fervent, standing tall, nothing but meek

Will you listen?

mind is preoccupied with quandaries
heart filled with love full of boundaries
to whom i would run and tell all my miseries

everyday i tried to fill the emptiness
trying hard to pick up the lost pieces
i cannot live my life with undone puzzles

soul longs for someone who could just listen
seeing me as a person in need instead of a fiend
not someone who will condemned me in the end

struggling to fight, battle is long
keeping the heart from what is wrong
fighting back the tears, sing the song

ill seek a place, where my heart can rest
where there is peace and there is no test
though im in pain, i'll do what is best

Itch

that itch that enfolds your beauty
to look at it without a stroke is a pity
sometimes i cannot hold it any longer
desire to give in, yearn for u to linger

ill be strong, i wont give up, baby dont fret
ur exquisiteness will flourish, future is set
not moving a muscle, adhere to where i stand
anticipation grows to see thy splendour grand

through the facet, i run my fingers
i close my eyes, i feel the hunger
gradually the delineation i feelshowing impression a moment could steal

*how i'll remember the work of art,the irritating itch not the hurt

Masterpiece

bearing a masterpiece is something
to some this represents an evil doing
convey a simple significance of art
people that are close to my heart

the pain i endure for years incised
symbol of great love and ecstacy lies
never it will ebb, eternally it'll remain
for thy profound meaning & beauty lies within

trembling with fear, i sit in a chair
will i endure the pain or run back to my lair
been through a lot of hurting compare to this one
in an hour, pain will subside ur beauty will reign

*for the art etched in my skin forever it will remain

Canvas

each stroke of a brush
i feel my blood gush
drawing a thin line
carefully till its finegradually the image shows
depiction of life flows
treasures are neatly kept
with every single step

each side bears the waves of pain
every strike blazing like a flame
with the hands of God i stand still
helps me to endure and do not feel

engraved are letters of each gold
protect from anything as long as i can hold
with a white ink i stroke jaccr
epitomizing the purity of the heart

when the sun spread its rays and bring us light
ill prepare a day to do what will give me delight
a canvas to bear a masterpiece, a work of art
that forever will remain, be here in my heart

jaccr - my only reason for living.

Where you'll be

to love that's so mysterious
to reasons some are oblivious
answers can't be found
meaning that are profound

feel the love, follow your heart
would it be still if it hurt
seek the remedy, cure the pain
some succeed, some are vain

cure your wounds, inflict venom to one
ur pain subsides, free to run
to someone, ur venom remains
creeping slowly through the veins

would it still be right?
to which you will fight?
the one that gives u delight
or the one that loves u inspite

sanity slowy ebbs away
renounce to this fray
silently u kneel to pray
to give you strength guide u all the way

Your love

every minute of the day
i pray fervently and say
this love i have if i may
forever it will stayu have show me great love
that i didnt deserve to have
my life is filled with rainbows
with its colorful shining rows

no matter how ur days are busy
when im in pain and sound too pushy
ur love gives me serenity
soothes my soul till eternity