Resilient Confinement

Of all the times that my period’s suppose to happen after days of being late, it has to happen on the night of my departure to Manila. It’s really pissing me off but what can I do? I’ve been incarcerated with this “disease” for 32 years and yet I still haven’t accepted the fact that it will always be part of my humiliation. I was on sick leave the whole day and I had taken 2 capsules of pain reliever. I thought I’m all set for the night. Before we went to the airport, I took another one capsule. And then as soon as I’m done checking in, the pain strikes again. Hitting me rock bottom. Giving not just me but habiga a complete full experience of mortification. I was too weak to walk or stand. We tried to walk faster so we can reach the McDonalds downstairs right away but I guess I pushed my luck too far. Things around me were slowly disappearing from sight and then I guess I passed out for a few seconds. Good thing no one’s around that time. No one will care anyway. I’m so blessed to have habiga who took care of me and for being strong enough to carry my heavy bag and my weight. I wouldn’t know what I would do if I was alone. Just the thought gives me shiver down my spine. There was a huge possibility of me missing my flight. Just few minutes before my boarding time, habiga was able to force me to take in some food and take another pill for the pain. I thought there’s no way I would be able to pass the immigration without a wheelchair. Habiga pleaded to the guard if he could just go with me inside or anyone who could assist. God bless the heart of that man for not letting us in =) or pitying me with my situation. I guess that’s what made me gathered enough strength to go in somehow after hearing habiga’s voice so desperately asking for a favor from that heartless man. I did made it ‘till the plane touchdown the Centennial Terminal 2 airport. Thank you Lord! Thank you for giving me an angel like habiga to be with me at that time. And thank you so much for I didn’t missed my flight. Inspite of that experience, I’m still thankful for I was able to see the smile of my family again who always bring a thud to my heart.

Tagged

I've been tagged by Mami Lily.

Here are the rules:
1. Link back to the person that tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. Share six unimportant things about yourself.
a. I have my dysmynorrhea and dreaded it every month
b. I have two tattoos - one big and one really small and want to have another 2 more
c. I love to travel and being in a new place
d. I can't survive a day without a cup of coffee
e. I love writing so much and my ultimate dream was to have at least one article or post featured in a magazine.
f. I love reading novels by specific authors and have a mini library of my own.

4. Tag six people at the end of the entry.
Bebit, Anik, Novyta, Joey, Mommy Lei, Mitch

Things I want in my life

If only I have the guts and money and resources and time, I would do things that could make me feel the ecstacy of having to do things that doesn't complicate a lot of things. But fullfilling much of what I have in mind would require one to be born with a golden spoon or maybe even if I were, I wouldn't have these things as a dream rather I'll be dreaming something bigger than this I guess. We humans will never be contented with anything. We always aspire for something and we always look up or forward. Maybe because that's what keeping us alive. The hope and having that motivation to achieve something is what's making us woke up early in the morning, facing the everyday life and sometimes braving through the storm. Goal #1: Waking up early, taking the train and bus devotedly every single day isn't so much appealing at all. But the notion of learning something new at work each day give me the strength to go on. That somehow, I knew how at the end of each month's hardwork and every now and then stress, I will be taking home some earnings that have helped not only myself but my family of 4 helping my siblings to finish their degree, and pay my bills. I feel matured and very well capable of living my life on my own, not depending on my parents inheritance like some well off kidz. Though I am not good in handling my finances due to lack of it I guess, I am still praying to God not to give me more of what I asked for rather give me enough to make ends meet where I would still be able to learn something. And I was so looking forward to the day that I will see myself saving for a rainy day. That's my numero uno goal. I know it will take years and years to do that, but at least I have something to look forward to and strive hard to be better in what I only knew best - pretending to know everything. Goal #2: This was realized the moment that world map I have in my hand only register in my mind that the place I lived in wasn't the only existing one in this world. When I saw one book in a bookstore titled 100 places to go before you die. I thought it will be ridiculous and very much impossible to dream as much as 100 places or countries. So I began dreaming with baby steps. I aim for 25 countries. I knew back then that it was impossible but little by little it was realized. And I thanked GOD endlessly for that. Now, I'm still aiming for it. To complete that number. It doesn't matter if it happens now or never. What matters to me is that hope that maybe time will come that I will be able to complete that. It gives me satisfaction just thinking of it. :) This goal has became now a reason why I came to think of my third goal. Goal #3: With that passion and love for travelling and lack of budget in the finance department, I channeled my eagerness in watching tv and reading books. Then it began to drawn on me how each book that I've finished had turned into a desire to write my own novel about the places I've been suddenly emerged. I wanted to be the medium to those who can't afford to travel. Although a lot have been doing this lately, I still dream of becoming one of them. Seeing my name in a book on my favorite bookstore on one of their best seller shelf is something that inspires me to read more and more books. :) Goal #4: And by reading more and more books, i do not mean to just borrow one from the library. I wanted to have read something and keep them forever. So I dream of having my own mini library and a bookstore of my own. With full of novels of my favourite authors and hard to find titles. Full of comic books that will take me back to my childhood days even if I turned gray and old. Haayy, ok back to reality. Wow, it somehow puts me in the mood to be wanting to live at least the full years I've lived my life now. Putting an end to some mistakes I've done. Learning valuable hundred lessons from it and taking the other way the next time I come across it. And writing more about the things that are inside my head. I'm not intelligent or one who does know everything. I'm still trying to learn more and more each day. And by writing, I have something to look back to in case in the future my memory fails me. I thanked of course GOD for each day that I lived and for every chances I get.

Year ender post

Saw this one post on one of my blog-hopping times... So sorry to forgot the owner of this post. Hope you don't mind!

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
Got married! Twice!

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I belive in that saying "live life to the fullest" =)


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yep yep! My inay anik to a beautiful baby girl Alexi and my kumareng Jude to a beautiful baby boy DJ!


4. Did anyone close to you die?
My paternal grandma =(


5. What countries did you visit?
Philippines, Thailand


6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
debt free and a baby


7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Our church wedding, September 1, 2007

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
my youngest sister's graduation *1 year pa!*

9. What was your biggest failure?
secret...

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
monthly yes...

11. What was the best thing you bought?
dunno!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?


13. Whose behaviour appalled you and made you depressed?


14. Where did most of your money go?
remittance, bill payment, wedding


15 What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our wedding!


16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Your Guardian Angel

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter, i think
iii. richer or poorer? poorer hehehe

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
manage my earnings well

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
spending money on worthless things

20. How will you be welcoming the New Year?
a glass of wine in my hand, my adorable husband kissing me and friends around me

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
24/7

23. How many one-night stands?
ay!

24. What was your favourite TV program?
Grey’s Anatomy, heroes, simpson, Miami Ink, Travel and Living

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
nope

26. What was the best book you read?
Notes from my Travels and

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?


28. What did you want and get?
My dad's presence at my wedding and fuss free wedding

29. What did you want and not get?
I feel blessed that I can't think of any

30. Favorite film of this year?


31. What did you do on your birthday?
Dinner with my two families!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
straighten up that one thing i've been wanting to change

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
nasa nagdadala lang yan!

34. What kept you sane?
My family and my husband *yiha*

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Angelina Jolie

36. WHo is your real-person crush?
Palibutan ako ng anaps eh hehehe

37. What political issue stirred you the most?
meron pa bang tatalo sa pinas?

38. Who did you miss?
my family

38. Who was the best new person you met?
vinh and kaoutar

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
no regrets!

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
my bridal march song

5 THINGS TAG

I've been tagged by Inay

5 things found in my bag
- phones, keys
- wallet
- kikay kit, perfume
- small notebook and pen
- book

5 things found in my wallet
- atm card
- old receipts
- band-aid
- access card, ic card
- ezlink

5 things found in my room
- photos
- books
- important documents
- makeup kit and jewelries
- scrapbooking materials

5 things i’ve always wanted to do
- do charity works
- travel
- tattoo
- write my own book
- taekwondo or kapoiera *dunno the spelling hehehe search ko pa*

5 things i’m currently into
- blogging
- scrapbooking (wedding photos)
- reading
- yoga


5 people to tag for this
- joey
- mami s
- mami lily
- abby
- novyta

Looking back

My thoughts brought me back to my college days as I gaze upon the students in front of me at the bus. It was, for me, one of the memorable times in my life. Unlike others, I don't have the brains to get a full scholarship or a silver spoon in my mouth in order for me to finish my college. But, I was lucky enough to be admitted in the Ozanam Grantee - an organization for student assistants where students worked for at least 40 hours a week in the school while maintaining a passable grade. My university days were monotonous. From Monday to Friday, starting at 6.30 in the morning and going home at 10 in the evening, I juggle my work and classes. As soon as I got home, rest was done only after I've done my assignments or projects. Sleep was a luxury for me that time. On saturdays, I still go to school to work half day and spend the afternoon for my laboratory classes which was really impossible to do on the weekdays. Sundays were usually meant for the org's events like sports activities, charitable activities, induction, etc. It was tiring but I guess the adrenaline of juggling everything was what pushed me to finish that responsibility. Though it sounds like boring as hell and no fun at all, it has its own perks that I did enjoy for 5 years that I was a grantee. Like being the first one to choose a good schedule, and enroll without the hassle of queuing and rubbing elbows with thousands of regular students. There's also a chance of getting the good side of most of my professors since I almost see them my entire university life. But of course, there are professors who just hate us and doesn't have the sympathy on what we do. A chance to have a peek of most of your grades is also one of the perks though it was always done discreetly. And the best of all is doing the charity works. The chance to do "apostolate" where all grantees will visit one place (juvenile delinquency, old people, squatters area, etc) and distribute the goods donated by the grantees from their measly allowance was one experience I couldn't forget. It's a chance for poor to help the poor. We were taught not to limit ourselves on helping others just because we don't have enough money. Every month, at least one saturday, we spend our whole day playing with the kids, chatting with the parents of how they live their life and at the same time giving hope to those who needs one. We were the perfect model for them for we know what it's like to live having one meal a day, what it feels like to hear your stomach growling, to have only few pesos in our pocket, to know the difficulty of coming from a broken family, to have a piece of apple as a luxury and experienced what it's like to have their electricity cut by the meralco for not paying the bill. But everytime we were there, you would never see a soul without a smile on their face. It's not because of the food we bring but because of the hope they see in us inspite of every trial that's sited on our shoulders. I've learned a lot from them. I've learned many things that even the best school couldn't teach me. I've learned that one man's quandary could be another's strength. Their only reason for living is their family. Their only bliss and dream is to have enough food for everybody. Maybe it's not bad to go back a few paces so I could learn to accept the things I cannot do and be thankful for the things that I have knowing how many millions out there who doesn't have.

7 Random Things

I've been tagged by mami s. I must post the rules, 7 random things about me and then tag others to do the same. Sound fair enough, right? These are the rules… each player starts with 7 random facts about themselves on their Blog. People who are tagged need to blog 7 facts about themselves and post the rules as well. At the end of their blog list 7 people you are tagging. Let them know that they are tagged by leaving them a comment. 1. I love drinking coffee. Back then it was only cappuccino. But with cuz's influence, i now enjoy and appreciate the goodness of a brewed coffee. 2. I have this thing for organizing things. I want everything to be in order that there are times that I get disappointed when things didn't go as planned. 3. When I was in elementary and high school, i've owned slum book each year. And I have a diary! It's a good thing, there's blogging now. 4. I don't hate pasta or chocolates. I'm not just a big fan of it. 5. I love watching Travel and Adventure channel. I love traveling. I love going to places that I've never been to. 6. I adore kids. I don't know if I just want to have one. But since I was a kid, I love taking care of babies. They have the sweetest smile that took away your problems for a minute. 7. I love bags than shoes. I love dressing up. I love going into signature shops even if i don't buy one hehehe. I love looking at the models and admire the way they dress up and walk. I love fashion even if the fashion hates me. Now, I will tag Bebit, Joey, Novyta, Khendz

The magic of YM

Up until now it amazes me how modern technology had helped people like me to get in touch with people we don't usually see. This day, I've chat with 2 people who've, well, imprint part of their personality in my system. Special child ba. The latter I've last seen was the day before I left Manila for Singapore and since then we never had much time to talk even through email or any kind of communication. We never had that chance to see each other again even through my occassional visits in Manila for some reasons. Now with my status "sniff" *because I got colds*, a familiar nick appeared on my screen with a hint of concern about my status. I didn't know people still care. Through our conversation of how are you's and how things are with each other, those last words on my screen made me smile and thank God that somehow I've managed to save a few friends and special people in my bucket. That phrase "I'll never forget you" seem so sweet to read. This matters because I'm a person diagnosed with a KSP disease and hard-to-please infection. I look like I never care for someone who doesn't give a damn about me but always, at the end of the day i still do... really. (It's already 5 and Im still wide awake! Arrgghhh!)

Name Game

Saw this from one of the random blogs i've been reading tonight. So I thought, why not? :)

FAYE
Your name of Faye has created a practical, responsible, stable nature, and you desire to direct the efforts of others rather than to take order or ask permission. You have a determined, self-reliant, capable nature and resent any interference, although in your desire to help you are inclined to become involved in the lives and decisions of other people. You like to make your own decisions and to be the master of your domain. You feel a limitation in your own expression when it is necessary to reach another through tact and understanding.

Although the name Faye creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it causes a blunt expression that alienates others. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses through worry, mental tension, and tension or accidents to the head.