Another Untitled Post

It's been a year. It's been that long but feels so short to me. I've enjoyed much of the free time I have been asking ever since. But I never did any of the usual things that I really love to do like reading and blogging. I have been busy baking though. But I am so thankful to God and to Mr A for letting me have this long long vacation. Now I have to wake up. I have tons and tons of memories in my head but I couldn't blog them all now. I wanted to. I'll probably do them one at a time as long as my memories will help me. At least until the very small details I can still remember. Not getting any younger now. From this long hiatus, I realized I still love writing about something. I still love reading about novels and stuff. I still wanted to learn and make my mind work like it used to be. I am trying to pick up the pieces again.

I hope this will be the beginning of a new chapter. To hug back who I was back then. I miss certain people. I miss certain things. There are few that I don't but it doesn't mean they or it never crossed my mind for a second. Each single moment or thing is relevant. As it helps in building the center of that very beautiful memory you always go back to in your quiet days.

One Good Song

"SOMETIMES IT ONLY TAKES ONE GOOD SONG TO BRING BACK THOUSANDS OF GOOD, OLD MEMORIES"

And some old memories makes you wonder why it didn't stay that way today? Whenever I looked back, I couldn't help compare what was life for me then than what it is to me now. It has indeed taken a giant leap. Along with it, I couldn't help but think about the times how rhonny started. From pa-cute moments to ligawan blues to the sweetest first few years of their togetherness. They always wanted to spend their time together. He go home late just to be with her. She thinks of extra ordinary thoughtful ways to show him how much he mean to her. Then it changed. Somehow, all that tooth-aching sweetness ebbs away along with the number of years they have been together. I know that people do really change. But I never thought that feelings do too. Don't get me wrong, love is stronger for rhonny now. But the way it was is really gone. Scary thing is, I don't think it will be coming back again. Or maybe I'm just being a sentimental fool to think that sweetness doesn't grow old? I will still hope though. I don't want this kind of relationship now. I want romance and sweetness to be brought back. Don't be alarmed. I am looking for this with the same one I've shared a lot of things with for 14 years and the same one I've exchanged vows with 5 years ago. I don't want to be loved forcefully or just because it's a responsibility. I want to be loved the same way I felt 14 years ago. I want to be looked at like I am the only girl in this world. I want to be hugged and kissed in the forehead at public places like it used to be. I want to always feel his hands next to mine whenever we are together like the way it was. I want to see again that fear in him of losing me anytime. I want to see again in his eyes that I am perfect the way I am without comparing me to any big boobs, sexy abs and pretty face FHM models. I don't want to be just his wife, I want to be THE wife. Is it asking too much? I'm not asking for any additional effort. I'm just wishing that in terms of being affectionate and showing his love for me, the clock will turn back to 14 years ago. Sigh. Or maybe accepting what is in front of me now will at least alleviate the ache. 

If you happen to read this when I'm already gone, don't worry. You have been a perfect husband to me. I'm just being me - uncontented and selfish wife. And I'm not being sarcastic. I'm just hoping good things were not changing. 

The Big Bear on Hibernate Mode

There's a point in time that the bear has to forget about some of the things that hurts him. He doesn't want to push because love and friendship will not be sweet right? He tried anyway but he came to a point that he felt really tired. And then he remembers that all bears do hibernate at some point in their life right? This bear is officially on hibernate mode. He's not making a total BS drama that's why he chooses to stay away. He chooses to stay away because he can't stand to be hurt anymore and more so make a fool of himself for a thousand times. Love is too precious to waste. But the bear is willing to wait until the mother nature is ready. He just hopes it will not be too late for anything. Life is really being sardonic to the big bear lately. Nothing he wishes are aligned to what was God's plan for him. And love isn't too friendly with him either. In spite of it all, the big bear chooses to count whatever blessings he have in his life. But he can't ignore the times that he was slumped in dejection. Then again, this too will pass. So, staying away is the best stupid solution that the big bear has to come up with. Until then, the big bear shall return with a lot of happy fishing stories to be told.

Stress Free - Day 4

My schedule for Day 4 is full. And I'm loving it!

1. Appointment with Dr. Eunice Chua at Thomson Medical Center for follow up check up.
2. Trip to Philippine Embassy to run an errands for dadi
3. Remit money at LP

Stress Free - Day 3

Day 3 is Sunday. After mass, it's still shopping day. We finally managed to bookes our ticket though for Pinas Vacay, thanks to Dadi. It will be a bonding time between me and Cheska. Thank you Lord as I am enjoying my relaxing moment so far. It's been 3 days only but I think I am really loving this stress free moment. I still wake up every 3 AM in the morning to check my phone only to realize that I am not employed anymore and not totally doing any support now. Oh, what a relief!

1. Shop till we drop (still)
2. Tickets to Pinas - booked!

Stress Free - Day 2

I have nothing to say about Day 2 as this is our usual weekend routine - Shopping. Specially now there's a reason to, and in spite of what had transpire few days ago, it will and still is part of the family's routine. And of course, a trip to the toy store for Cheska will always complete the meal.

1. Shop till we drop

Stress Free - Day 1

For 12 years that I have been working overseas, this will be the first time that I will be resting and so looking forward to it. There is of course the financial things to think about but God never forsake me. I have never been so stressed in my life, work wise, and I am hoping to get the best out of my "vacation" which I hope won't last that long. So, I am here blogging it because I know once I started working again, I will have this to look back to and tell myself that I have done the best rest in all of my life. I thank GOD for giving me reasons and sane mind to choose between what will be best for me. I thank dadi of course, for always supporting me in every way. He is the best husband and friend and father. I wouldn't trade him for the world.

So Day 1, ironically, I woke up early. I was planning to sleep till noon but my mind was so busy thinking of what will I do for the rest of the day. From now till the end of my "stress free" days, I will list down the things I have done for each day so I will know how much I have accomplished and done without wasting it. Or I could just go and sit around the whole day. But knowing me, first thing on my mind right now is to actually clean up our messy room and organize my things. Yay! Will update this blog till end of this day for more updates weeeeeeee. Job hunting probably after two weeks. For now, I WILL AND SHALL RELAX!

1. Blog, Internet Surfing, Check Mails
2. Cleanup / Organize / Declutter
3. Watching Breaking Dawn @ 11:25 PM
4. Trip to Starbucks before heading home @ 2AM

Day 2 @ Mt Alvernia

I was awaken by Dr. Chua giving me updates. Blood sample was taken from me. Hopefully good news later.

At 9, I was taken to the ultrasound lab where I was tested and checked three times by the doctors with the ie test. Still nothing and have to wait for the doctor.

At past 6, Dr Chua stopped by. Thank God for giving us good news today. I still have to stay though, hopefully they will discharge me on Wednesday.

Some things are unexpected and I am just thankful to God that I still have another chance to live. And we are thankful for giving us reason to think the alternative things instead of jumping soon in the wagon. And thank God it is working so far. Hoping the iron meds works so I don't need to undergo a blood transfusion.

Another night to spend by myself. :(

I have to move on

After quite a long time of staying, I think i have to move my ass and be in the field again. I know i deserve something and I am not getting it here. For all those years, it has hurt so much of my confidence instead of boosting it. I wish I could find what Im looking for because, honestly I too, am tired of whining about how those words are freaking killing my self confidence. hmmm good luck to me :(

I really dont have the energy now to do what was expected of me. Hayyy....

Photography 101

When all you need is an iphone camera on a beautiful day like this...

Up In The Air

After watching the movie, it got me into thinking a lot of things again. For instance, how one stays to be working for the same company doing the same job over the years. And it's mainly because it's what keeps you alive, satiating your hunger, keeping you warm under that roof, and making you buy the gadgets that is keeping you from keepin in touch with the people that matters to you. Its a movie that eill help you realize a lot of things.

Then i thought, what was that thing that I really wanted to do if I am not doin what im doing now. I know the answer :) I love dancing. I love dressing up. And If i still can, I will still pursue this thing i really want. But world doesnt go on this way. But hey, who knows right? :D

Obligations

Without it, life will be much easier. Life will be a lot better escaping from all those things that makes your heart ache. If not for this, I'll probably on my own now, might be living alone but hundred percent happy and stress-free. Why does one have to suffer just for the sake of responsibilities not only to thyself but to those you love? Sometimes, i think about being selfish for once.

Love

There's no such thing as perfect relationship or perfect partner for that matter. It only become perfect when you have loved all the imperfections of the person you love. It's the only thing that makes a relationship last long.

Hibernate Off

back hopefully for good! i wont go back to days and months ive missed. ill move forward :) so hello there again :p

Kamusta Naman?

I haven't abandoned you.

I'm just busy with a lot of things :)

But I will come back.

I will tell you a lot of things.

From the new home to my new interest to updates from the little imp.

It seem to me that the well has dried up but it will eventually flow again :)

Strangers Again

the best video ive seen :)

 

Stage 1: Meeting

Stage 2: The Chase

Stage 3: Honeymoon

Stage 4: Comfortable

Stage 5: Tolerance

Stage 6: Downhill

Stage 7: Breaking up

 

Don’t worry. This is not suppose to make us cynical about relationships. If you didn’t end up together, that means you are meant only to make memories to have something to relish in the future when you look back. Getting hurt is inevitable. Every stage of this story is inevitable. You just have to let yourself swim with the flow of the moment. Don’t fight it. Don’t be afraid to swim across. Everyone does come to this stages anyway :)

 

God Listens

Few weeks ago, I have been ranting over something and pleading to God to give me something. I did try my foot to set on the other side of the street but it wasn’t what I was looking for. No calls. Nothing. Then just last week I received a news. It’s not a new job rather something that will take my anxieties away – I mean literally away. Thank you God for listening. Thank you for always listening to whatever it is that’s bothering me. :)

Fesbuk

Thank you for adding me in FB. Thank you for killing my decade-long of curiosity of what you look like now and how you are right now. I’m glad we are where we both are now. And to answer your question, yes, I have been looking for you too for a long time since friendster started. You are, in a way, been one of the special people in my life.

 

I just love modern times. I love FB! It makes you have that connection with the people / friends that once matters to you in your younger years. It helps you bring back those happy, innocent and problem free chapter of your life. It’s just amazing how it could you bring you into those memories unexpectedly. Now, I know I’ll be able to stop clicking the search button. :p

Moving on . . .

Yesterday, from my 2 rant posts someone posted a comment. I’m not sure why or what I did wrong to that person. This is my blog and it’s my prerogative to write anything I want. I know it’s open to public but that’s the fun of it. Only few friends or acquaintance that I know who knew my blog. Who could remember one’s blog if they are not your friend right? They would save it in their favourites or link it with their own blog. And that comment i knew came from someone I knew.

I don’t know what I did to you. I don’t know that my posts irritates you to the maximum level. There are simple ways to eradicate that negative feeling of yours. Why bother typing those harsh words to someone you’ve known? I’ll ask you – did it make you feel a lot better after typing those words? If yes, then ok I’ll let you have that moment. But I’m afraid with everything that I’m going through now, I don’t think it’s right for other people to crash me to ground even more.

And so, I’ve moved on. This is just temporary. I’ll be back because that has been my turf for the longest time. I’ve disabled the comments because I don’t blog just to hear what other people think of what I post. I blog because that makes me feel better. But it do make me happy when someone commented good on my posts and it does make me feel hell when someone commented bad. So, yes, you’ve succeeded.

Apple Family

At home, we have now a family of family products. Just yesterday, we welcomed our newest addition “Dadi MacBook” as this is dadi’s new toy. A week ago, I had my very first purchase of a gadget which is the iPad. it’s not the ver 2 as I really am not keen on buying much more expensive than the budget I put out for the old one. I bought it thinking more of my 2 babies – the big one for his NBA updates anywhere we are, and the small one who’s the real “owner” to keep her busy whenever we go :) For me, a quiet time without all those fussing from them :) Now time is really not enough with all these gadgets around :D I’m just thankful to God for all these blessings. I know it’s not a necessity but I’m still thankful that we are given a chance to take part into the latest gadgets. I guess that’s one of the perks in living here.