Adjustments

When you've worked in a company for six years, that feeling of being slightly "siga" was there. You're confident with the things you do and all you need is to meet that deadline. You know the path you're walking into. You know how to deal with every single boss whom you think needs anger-management and with attention-grabbing syndrome. You know every single rule. You've come to deal with the fact that you're working in a company that as strict as a school - that is working at exactly 8.30 until 6.00 and follow the rules, no internet access or any privileged, no internal email (talking bout myself only), agent that doesn't pay your CPF and no wandering around during office hours. I abide by the rules. I got comfortable sitting in a wooden chair and lounging at a "papag". But now that I've chosen to increase a few bucks from my last salary and wanting to gain experience and learn different things from what I currently do, that feeling of idiocy and people belittling my capacity (I guess it's just my feeling) is now on. I have to do major adjustments again like what I did 6 years ago. Or was it just a month ago? Can't explain with all the blessings Im facing now. Can't explain how blessed I am with colleagues who are nice and helpful, with my work schedule that I can come to work past 9 or close to 10 and go home at past 6, with the internet connection that i've been dreaming to have for the longest time. Gain a few friends. Im just hoping that I can do whatever it is "the bosses" asked me to do. And meet the deadline! Yes! That's my wish. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. 

Blabbering fool

There are times in your life when part of your past is running after you, haunting you, hitting you in the face with something that is long forgotten. No one ever intended to hurt anyone but there are times that you have no choice but to go after that choice where it will cause lesser pain than the other. As far as I know, I've explained why things happened. And I never hurt someone without inflicting that pain on myself. I am always part of that pain. Sigh. Just let it go.

Poignant goodbye

We went to the wake last night at St. Theresa Church. My ex-Boss wasn't there, later found out that he was sick and have to go to the hospital. Poor him. We managed to talked to Monica's sister and she told us what happened. Monica was my ex-Boss's wife who died just last friday. It was really sudden that all were shocked to hear about Monica's demise. She was only 39.

This was Monica's sister's story as far as I can remember:
Their daughter (only 8 yrs old) was sick since last thursday so Monica file for a Child Care leave that friday. Her sister last talked to Monica friday at 3pm telling her that she's really tired and she's vomitting but that was it. She didn't feel anything strange. She wasn't sick at all. But around past 5, Monica with her daughter, tried to cough then fainted. The daughter was really brave and didn't panicked at all, called her father who's still in the office, and told him what happened. When the father got home, after few attempts to make Monica breath, she's already gone. The doctor said Monica had a massive heart attack base from the autopsy. But her sister said Monica doesn't have any heart condition history. The only thing that Monica complains to her sister was that she's tired. Could someone really died just like that? Overstressed? Too much work? She's still young and her daughter's only 8. Maybe it's time to think twice if we ever plan on working long hours and not spending few hours of our time with our family. As life continues to most of us - my boss, Monica's family and their beautiful daughter continue to grief and miss monica. Our fervent prayer to Monica's soul and to her family whom she left. =(

Sorry i sound too concerned with what happened. Aside from the fact that i hate it when someone was left behind, the now-widowed husband of Monica was my boss for 6 years. And monica works at the same company as ours. It's just really sad.

Sad Christmas

Woke up late. Day was gloomy. It was raining since last night, i think. I wanted to stay home to sleep. I almost call in sick. Really feel sleepy. Obvious from my blog. I felt like a telegram. Then, I got an SMS from Mareng Bebit. She told me about the demise of Tatay's wife last friday. 3 days before christmas. Tatay was my Project Leader for 6 years in Hadaba. He's the one who testified for each contract that I sign that I deserve the income that I am asking for. He was the one who made me see that not all Singaporeans are "kinda" racists. His wife works at Hadaba too. Wasn't actual close to his wife but most of the CP's that were under Tatay were really close to him. Especially me and Mame Ces. It's really really sad to know of his loss. They have a 6 year old girl. I felt like crying just thinking of it. I hate this kind of moment in life. I've said many times before in my blog how my heart breaks for the people who were left alone by their loved ones. It's really hard. I hope GOD will take care of them. I hope GOD can show to them that life may be as hard as it can get, it will always be beautiful in the end. Oh, darnit, I don't have anything good to say. I felt sad. =( Imagine losing someone when it's so close to adding one more happy event like Christmas in your life. Condolence Tatay. :(

Christmas Day

Merry Christmas y'all! Had managed to call home today yey! I was trying to call home last night at 12 and ashoeswal, i can't get in to the network. I've talked to them on the phone and I felt more sad not being able to be with them huhu. I also learn from mamu (she's really madaldal talaga), Dad's connect (kabit hahaha i don't want to use the term mistress kasi feeling ko pang-mayaman lang yun!), left him with his two treasured kids for another man who's 27 years old! Nagpapaka-Demi Moore ang lola mo! Bad ko instead of feeling sorry for him, i laugh out loud. Not because Im happy he got dumped, I guess I just felt a little bliss knowing how life really works. Oopps, I'm not so good myself. Sabi sa home alone 3, if you've done a bad thing, try to make a big good deed to at least alleviate what you've done wrong. Hmmm. Well, at least he got to produce two who would carry and continue their name Franco. I just hope they would turn out to be good kids. I still felt a little sad each time I look back but it's what had made me stronger and maybe I owe tiny little thing to otrebron. With the way I live my life back in high school, and am not sure if it's how normal high school kids are, i couldn't be too sure if i would still turn out the way i am now. praning pa din hehe. But I grew up being otrebron's sidekick. After work, in the morning he would usually wake me up and get me up from home and come with him to work then go to my lola's place at his off day. I remember how I love going to Kanlaon even if I know at a young age how Lola hates my mamu. You know byenan-manugang type of war. That's the only place I could eat makopa, chocolates, apple, grapes, goldilocks or castanas at Christmas Time and have my malaking piso turned into limampiso or play with lola's 7 different dogs. But I never felt at home. There's always a wall between me and otrebron's side even if I was tagged back then as Lola's favorite apo. Sigh those were the days. Been a long time since I last visited her. Maybe sa March paguwi ko :)

My 2006 bucket

Now that 2006 is 8 days short 'till it finally say goodbye, i've thought of thinking back and reminiscing what 2006 have brought me. So I could look forward to some of the "planned" things that would happen to me in 2007. Year 2006 walked up on me with a smile as 2005 left me something memorable. Ambilis ng panahon!

Things to remember by:
The proposal. Spending christmas vacation for the first time since I worked here in singapore with my family in the Philippines. Went to Bintan with pitibifor. Wowowee stampede that kills and injures people :(. I got my first Tiffany given be bebi as his valentines gift to me. A friend gave birth to a baby boy in february and became my godson in october. Mudslide in Leyte :(. Kuya Robby visit SG. Sis Apple got a job. Eian, Edward and the kidz moved from Malaysia to Singapore for good. Fort Minor concert. Tried Wall Climbing. Club Med in Bintan. Got addicted to Grey's Anatomy. Kuya, Nanay with the cute kidz visited Singapore. Bebe turned 31. Finally decided to get hitched! Eian and Edward's angel - Ella turned one. Eian, Edward, Lorena and Us went to Siem Reap, cambodia. Face a great deal of making a decision - to stay or not to stay in Hadaba which of course eventually I did. Won first place in 4th HDB Pinoy IT Bowling League. Romantic Dinner at the Sentosa's cable car on my Birthday. Coach bag as a gift from bebe. Got a fringe for the first time. First bday in singapore without a party. Said goodbye to 6 years of work in hdb. East Coast overnight with friends. Spent 6 days in Manila. First Day at SGX. Last Day at SGX. Organized an EB for the first time for W@Wies. Had a try on at Jimmy Choo. 2nd yr anniversary of my ankh. Rakrakan Night. Bebe got his first electric guitar. First Day at FedEx. Said goodbye to a lot of friends. Made new friends. Bebe's first ever performance playing guitar. Christmas parties. Lost Treo 650 phone. Zero visibility of chance to do good deed. :(

Time fly so fast. One year is only 12 months. But look how far we've become since last year. Too many memories. Too many heartaches. But what matters is how strong we've become and happier than ever. We may say our goodbyes to some but definitely worth it to find treasures from others. I've love the way my life has been for the past 12 months and definitely looking forward what 2007 would bring in to my life.

First Day High

Bad things may have poured out on me the past few days and I can't say that I have gotten over it inspite of the very good news. Still, it is something that I really really thanked GOD for never letting me drowned from the "not-so-good" things that knocked me off my feet. Yes, I finally found a new job. It was a lot of signs from GOD that it was what He wanted for me. Today, I just started my first day at FedEx. It was suppose to be yesterday but this "freakin-pain" made me spend about 20 bucks and lose my 1 day of work - starting ko pa lang yan ha! Hayyy focus on the good things. Anyway, my day started ok. Everyone at work was nice. The team consists of about 20 people - only 2 were girls, one was me. Those were the only people I met during the 2 hour meeting we had in the afternoon. Talk about shocked. Thank GOD there were 2 kababayans that I can talked to. I hope the following days or months of my stay there would be fruitful. Kapagod din maghanap ng work. The full 10 days lying around at home made me worried but at least somehow GOD let me have the rest Ive been longing for. Ive been working non stop for 6 years anyway. Though there were times that we took a vacation, this is by far the longest rest I had since birth hehe. Been working my ass off eversince I graduated from highschool. Whew. Thank you Lord for everything. Thank you friends for the support and prayers. Thank you bebe for being so supportive and always believing in me. Thank you Mom for praying hard with me. Thank you sisses for being my inspiration to move on. Naks, feeling nanalo ng Oscar! Winner! Salamat po!

Pouring much?

The last time I called mom, I said that the next phone call she'll get from me will be about my job. But I can't help telling her about my phone. I called her this afternoon and told her about my phone. And then she said, why everything was taken from us little by little. I thought she was just saying that because of my job-seeking adventure and that I just lost my phone. She said Kendz was also resigning from her job because of "management issues". Apparently, her boss, who's a tsinoy, called her a saleslady to which she said she's not that she's a pharmacist of their place which brings to argument that she's not fond of selling and all that and she resigned. Case no. i don't know - my sister apple was also resigning from her job because she wasn't give a proper contract and they refuse to give her some of the benefits that she was entitled to. And now the shocking part - tuesday morning i think around 5 am on her way home from work (she's woking like a customer service at pldt as a technical consultant) - she got robbed inside an FX. All her things, phone, wallet, everything was taken away from her. I didn't felt relieved that I was luckier than her. I hoped she didn't have to go through that and I should have been the one. She's 25 but I will always hope and pray that every single bad thing that was about to come their way will be redirected to me. It's just a relief that she didn't get hurt. I'll try to look at the bright side of life hoping that there's still at least one left. It's days before Christmas and I felt helpless. I can't even do something to what happen to the victims of typhoon Reming. Hell, I can't even extend a little help to my family. Hmm, what should I call this typhoon in my life?

Interview

When one favorite of mine like blogging was deserted, that means im in a total mess at the moment. Ive been juggling my time from refreshing myself from the projects ive done to prepping myself for the most hated part of my existence - JOB INTERVIEW. I had two and still have one tomorrow which im really dreading to go to. I just hope JOB INTERVIEW were not like this. Each one's dreading to sell themselves trying to make a good impression in just 45mins. Im just really hoping and praying really really hard to GOD that at least one from the two interviews I've had will get me huhuhu. Please please, pretty please. I hope this time He'll put me somewhere I really belong. Well, those 3 months wasn't wasted actually. My oracle was refreshed. At least now I can put something 'oracle-y' to my resume. Sigh. Now that my end is about to come in just 2 days, my mind's really not at it's peace mode. I worry about lot of things. But, yes, looking back to those days that I've been like this, God had never left me for one tiny sec. Three wonderful occasion that I'm really excited about was set aside just because of this. Well this one is much more important than the said events. Another sigh.

Reverie

Being in bed for the whole day yesterday, I tried at least to steal a sleep from the @#%$@%^ pain that I had. Every month! Never missed even one single f***ing month! And funny thing is I never get used to it. Darn! Oh sorry. This is not what this blog is about. Have to forget about this.

Anyway, some b2b's (bride-to-be) almost instantly tells you they had weird dreams about their wedding even if it's still a year away. Weird in a way that they have been doing the preparations for a year and their dreams turned out to be a disaster like you never even bother to do one single task. Mine's different. Maybe it has something to do with me browsing the wedding pictures of some w@wies. With them walking down the aisle with their dear parents. This worries me maybe because my parents have been seperated for almost 14 years now. Our family just got complete last year for the sake of my first Christmas in the Philippines since Ive been away. Nothing much to say to go into details of what happened after that because there's none. Now, that one thing in my life that's so important to me will be happening in exactly 9 months time, my Mom asked me if Im going to invite him. Invite him to be my father on my wedding day? Funny hehe but as far as I can remember, during my simple debut party at our home hosted by my nanay (my auntie on mother's side), he wasn't invited but he was there outside our home. He wasn't able to go inside because most of our relatives, mother's side, especially my mom, wouldn't allow him. I was feeling a lot of emotions that time. Happy that he went to see me inspite of what happened. Sad that he was there but he wasn't really. Angry too for what he did. But I still went out to see him and thank him for coming. I just don't exactly remember if I brought food for him. But this is one thing that I like about my mom. Through her pain, she never even once told us to hate our father. Or to never speak to him again. And now, that this wedding is going to happen, the decision is up to me only. Yesterday, I had a reverie that I was in the philippines. Then I saw him on the street walking, to which I casually told him about my wedding and he's invited. That's it. I woke up after that. No drama or action effect. But I am not sure why I had a dream like this when i've already decided that I will be inviting him. Hmmmm.

The Terminal Man

"A match may start a fire, but once the fire is burning, putting out the match won't stop the fire. The problem is no longer the match. It's the fire." - The Terminal Man by Michael Crichton

When it rains, it pours

I haven't got over yet with my "personal" problem just this weekend and now my Monday seems to be starting on a very "lovely" one. Oh yes, im being sarcastic. When I opened the mail that I got from our mailbox last friday it brought me into panic mood. At least, i'm a bit thankful that my weekend didn't get much heavier from the thing that im carrying on my back for 2 nights. Nope, it doesn't end there. When I got to the office while reading my tons of emails, someone, with a higher position i think, from my work approached me. It was regarding the dilemma I had few weeks ago. Thought it was settled - but I was wrong. She talked to me and explained to me in a really nice way that they were letting me go. Because apparently there's some problems or miscommunication with the job requirement when i applied here. Simply put, they require someone who can do scripting in oracle (which she said I can do), deployment of web applications (also I can do), but what they really need is someone who can do testing and MF (which I couldn't and don't have the experience). I told her that it's fine with me and will tender my resignation letter as soon as i had a word with my team leaders and my agent. Now, I've sent an email with the 3 persons involve and just waiting for whatever they have in mind. What more could make this day seem interesting? I received an sms from the owner of our condo telling me of his plans of selling it. Which means, we will be moving out in time. Sigh! What do I feel now? Nothing. Maybe. Or it hasn't reached the bottom part of me yet. Sometimes i think it's true that you get numb when one quandary removes the Y replacing it with IES in the end. Oh well, a lovely day indeed. Bummer.

The Y's of Luv

Why do our heart ache from something that no matter what you did to forget it, it's still there after all? Why isn't there any remedy for BS things like this? Why do we always tend to stay in the abyss of compassion and longingness for someone were not even sure if they know we still exist and suffering, if that could help? Why does love have to be so complicated? Why doesn't people with great power and knowledge who can invent a lot of things haven't think of a cure for heartaches? Im sure it'll be a best seller. I have tons of questions that I'm not sure if someone better could give me an answer. I alone couldn't think of anything to my friend to alleviate what she's going through. I think, if you asked me, world would be a better place if someone could stay in love for too long to just one person. Sorry, I am not being judgemental or righteous for that matter. I do believe people could fall in love to someone at the wrong time. I don't believe that there's such a thing as right or wrong love. I believe in love - period. But it's just one wish that I hope would be granted. To let people be in love for just one and not find themselves in the chasm of painful heartaches. Or cause heartache to someone when they're not sure of what they feel towards the other. I hope she'll get over it and be strong no matter how long she've tried to forget. Nth years ago, I thought it was something she could forget over a bottle of vodka (even she doesn't drink that much) but now I believe how she strongly feels for that person. No matter how much I wanted to say - things would get better - i knew it wouldn't do anything, only God knows WHEN things would be in its proper place. Cheer-up!

The magic of YM

Up until now it amazes me how modern technology had helped people like me to get in touch with people we don't usually see. This day, I've chat with 2 people who've, well, imprint part of their personality in my system. Special child ba. The latter I've last seen was the day before I left Manila for Singapore and since then we never had much time to talk even through email or any kind of communication. We never had that chance to see each other again even through my occassional visits in Manila for some reasons. Now with my status "sniff" *because I got colds*, a familiar nick appeared on my screen with a hint of concern about my status. I didn't know people still care. Through our conversation of how are you's and how things are with each other, those last words on my screen made me smile and thank God that somehow I've managed to save a few friends and special people in my bucket. That phrase "I'll never forget you" seem so sweet to read. This matters because I'm a person diagnosed with a KSP disease and hard-to-please infection. I look like I never care for someone who doesn't give a damn about me but always, at the end of the day i still do... really. (It's already 5 and Im still wide awake! Arrgghhh!)

Happy 2nd, JACCR!

'Tis the month of October again and for the second year, I'm celebrating the masterpiece on my skin. Happy second birthday ankh! Happy birthday jaccr! I feel guilty everytime mom asked me why it never wear off. I guess she had the idea already but doesnt want to admit hehe.

The Departed

Due to stress in the office, I asked bebe if we could watch a movie. This is my medicine when im in stress or feeling sad or wala lang hehehe. Bebit were kind enough to text me if I want to join the group because they planned on watching "Sukob" which I decline as fast as my eyes blink. I really hate horror movies. But Im proud that tagalog movies made it here in singapore. You can't just force me to watch it - yes, kahit pa free! We watched The Departed and I'll say that this is one of the great movies that I really can recommend to all my friends though not for the faint of heart. I don't exactly know how to tell how good a movie is without telling the story so let me just say that this is something worth every cent of what you've paid. Even for that popcorn and hotdog. I literally had asthma attack after the movie. Not exaggerating. Big stars are in it - Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg, Martin Sheen, Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Alec Baldwin - and they all did a very good convincing job in portraying their roles. Especially Jack Nicholson. This is one movie that I'll be watching over and over again - after checking my pulse and heart rate first. Oh, by the way, did I mention that this was co-produce by Brad Pitt? *drool* So get up on your ass now and buy yourself a ticket and watch it! I am really glad how we both love watching movies. Wag lang talaga horror! 'Love you man!

first time

it's like being here in singapore for the first time. that feeling of standing on your own and doing every possible way to know your way out of the dark dungeon. someone might yell the way out but you still have to find it at your own risk, at your own time, at your own expense. a month had passed and im still as blind as an owl. i couldn't find the energy to go to work because none of it is a challenge - a nightmare maybe. i have neglected few good things in my life that for the past six years i've really enjoyed doing. now at my leisure time, all i wanna do is lie and think about how i dreaded Mondays. i felt like quitting every tick of the clock. i felt like ignoring the good things it'll do to me and my family at the end of each month just to save my ass for 22 days of being naive and seeing a lot of question marks around my head. i knew i was happy back then but i had to decide what matters most to myself and my future. now, i am not sure if i am having regrets with the decision i made 50 days ago. most good friends says it's what human calls "adjustments". if it is, why the hell it took so long for my system to identify and absorb the reality of where i am now? i guess i don't really hate where my decision had brought me. maybe, i just detest the notion of me in an idiocy state.

Juanang Tamad

If only I could just stay at home
watch movie or sleep all day
surf the net or redecorate our room
finish my scrapbooks and album our photos

If only I could just wake up when i want to
and feel the sheets in my bed
call up all my friends I've missed
and chat all day long

If only I could just shop all the things I want
and frantically take all that glitters
ill buy bags and clothes and shoes
all of them under designer labels

If only I could just choose things i want
like who to work for and what kind of job to do
my time won't be wasted and boring as hell
each would be spent on a meaningful things

If only I could just be contented
with all the things around me
and be thankful that i have a job
that feeds my family and myself

I guess im only yearning for a rest
just like everybody else
a time for my family
and a time for myself
enough to fill up all the time i've missed
until it satiates the emptiness within

solitary world

it took me so long to blog about my new work. nothing much to say about it except rants. sigh! now, after 3 weeks of adjusting to my new environment, it suddenly came into me. i miss my hadaba life. i miss my friends. i miss everyone there. i miss all the auntie's selling kikay stuffs. i miss the merienda. i guess, i need ample time to adjust to where i am now. its peaceful but its kinda lonely. sigh and more sigh. nevertheless, i don't regret or hope for things to get back to its normal state because it is what was given to me. all i need is a space to change the channel to set it to another mood.

#lonli, im miss lonli. i heb nobadi tu kollll my ownnnnnnn

All about friendship

it's very rare that someone used up big words, pure adjectives, all good things about me. i used to be that person too. showing what i truly feel about someone but few storms have washed away that attitude of mine. few have taken notice of the reasons why i care so much about the friendship. now, i thank GOD for there still are people who values friendship like i did last time. I may have been holding of what I truly feel, but GOD knows how much that friendship has been and will always be appreciated by me. Thank you friends. Thank you bebit for that article. It did made me shed a tear. Haylafyu!

Day One in Manila

I woke up as early as I can for my early flight. Don't wanna be late :) This should be a good day to start things because at this same date next year, i will be saying my vows, finally! Now, where was I? Oh, I reached Changi more than an hour before my scheduled flight but i think i was not the only one who planned to start their day right. My suppose to be plan of having breakfast at the McDonalds didn't happen. I couldn't find the freaking man waving, so I opt for a cup of hot chino wif choco muffins at the coffee bean. Ahhhh, the perks of being an early bird. I slept through the entire flight and just woke up when its time for us to land.

It was great seeing my Mom and sis kendz again after 8 months. We went to market market and had lunch at Jabee which bebe's cute niece adores so much. All of us, tatay, nanay, bebe, rein, mom, and kendz had fun eating at Jabee. It's always known how much we, people working overseas, crave for Jabee the moment we set our foot on the ground of manila. I ordered 2-pc chicken for myself and an extra palabok but never got the chance to eat the palabok. Takaw mata kasi. We went home after the hearty lunch. When we got home, I was surprised by the "new-look" of the house. Though, it's still rented, it has now the look and feel of a real home. I just hope someday, I could finally buy my Mom her own lair. Sana lang. Due to lack of sleep, Mom and me dozed off the entire afternoon. Tsk sayang yung araw. When we woke up, my two lovely sisters were already home. Mom cooked a fried tilapia that I lovingly requested for dinner hehe. After dinner, we watched a tagalog movie that stars my crush Sam Milby and Toni Gonzaga. I never get this super kilig while watching movies. At one part of the movie, I saw all my three sisters crying, of course i am too. I turned to my mom and told her, "Ano po ba tong mga anak nyo napaka-iyakin lahat!". My mom sniffs, and said, "Oo nga eh", then wipe her tears with her hanky, hahahaha. I thought she wasn't 'mababaw ang luha'. May pagmamanahan talaga! We went to Tia Maria in Malate afterwards. Ronel, a long time good friend followed. The day ends up really good as I've prayed it would. It's good to have a taste of beer especially when it's cheap hehehe =) Day One is over.

Last Day

Some things gotta end no matter how much you still wanted to stay. Factors arise and you have to make a decision. My last day's today after six years of doing programming and making friends. I enjoyed all the surprises during my birthday which was 5 days ago and now my friends still did something nice for me as a parting gift. We had lunch at the McDonalds, of course with free desserts, and before we eat our food, they showed me a video of me with their messages - all of them. Nobody noticed but I almost cried. I have held back my tears not wanting to be too emotional about the situation. But I really really appreciate all that they've done for me. I must have done something right to deserve this kind of friendship but in as much as I wanted to remember, I've done nothing. Maybe I was wrong when it comes to friends. There still are good ones after all. I have acquired a lot of friends during my stay in Hadaba and though most of them have completely forgotten me or got busy with their new work, they still have made me feel how great it is to have friends. And I can't feel anything but be glad with this kind of blessing. The day ended with goodbyes to almost everyone. It's really sad to leave everything good behind. My boss gave me a parting gift as well as my Indian teammate. It was really sweet of them. I almost cried when I hugged Inay and Bebit. I know we still got a lot of chance to see each other but the reality hits me that i'll never see their faces every morning. I'll never get the chance to share a tsismis with them. And joked with them. Have lunch with them. Sigh. Inay, Itay, Bebit, Cuz and me had dinner at Pizza Hut and said our final goodbyes afterwards. I didn't let myself drowned from loneliness. I still have something to look forward to - like spending time with my family in manila even for only a couple of days. Tenchu frenjies, for adding memories to my life.

The Big Day

Tomorrow will be a big leap for me. A big deal to me. Saying goodbye to six years of my work, my table, my boss. Hardest part is saying adieu to friends I've shared so many memories with. Jologz, Pitibifor, my noypi colleagues. It's really hard to let go of things you've grown to love with and have been comfortable with especially when you're having a great time. I never intended to be sentimental but i think i am starting already! Darn wine. I hate change. I hate crossroads. I hate leaving my lair. But you always know you have to. Today might not be the right time, but someday you gotta have to. So saddd. *sniff*

Friendster Update

*Sorry prenjie have to blog this. Event of the century ata to!*

I have been flooded lately with so many events in my life neglecting some of the things that could connect me to my friends. Like friendster. One time, a friend called me wednesday afternoon, telling me he'll be working in singapore and will be coming over sunday same week. I said why didn't he told me earlier to which he said he left a message on my frienster. Darn friendster. I almost totally forgot about it due to blogging. Anyway, I logged in again last night *or was it morning already*, read the messages (wow, ang dami pala nag-greet sa kin nung birthday ko, thanks! u guys), accept requests, accept testimonials, and of course browse through my friends pictures. I never had the chance to change the pictures on my friendster, I guess Im focusing much on my blog. I saw my buntso's profile. Aba, with Sam Milby my crush! Akalain mo nga naman. My sweet little baby had grown up and looks like she's having the most out of her teenage life. And Im so glad. The things that I never had the courage to do when I was her age, she's doing it now and enjoying every detail of it, Im sure. Oh well, can't be too sentimental about it. I'll be seeing them on Friday, yippeee! After my buntso, I checked on my two pretty sweeties too. Looks like they're as busy as ate hehe. I checked on my closest friends. Shocked was registered on my face. Ok im exaggerating. But I was, really framis. He's in a relationship now! With someone I know! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeee! I was shocked bec I've seen him so down in the past and I know most of it, and this thing that have given him happiness I only learn about it from friendster??? *tampo* Not that it matter hehe, still, Im very much happy for him. *I called him this morning to ask about it. Better ask the source itself than asking other people* Oh well, 2006 is really a good year for most of us. Congrats again, my dear good friend. Another answered prayer for me. God bless! =) Distance may be too much, certain things may have happened, but always remember that I will always be your friend no matter what.

Huwaw

I just remembered that this year was the first in six years that i didn't have any birthday party. Huwaw!

A surprise birthday cake

I asked the help of the two macho man - Ulrik and Bossing - to help me in taking all my "office trash" home. Thank you Ulrik and Boss and Ycay for the help! From home, we went to gluttons bay to meet Cuz Eram and Kulet. We had dinner and surprisingly, I've managed to finished the small prawn mee with my favorite barbequed chicken wings, yum! Wow, i'm really that hungry. After the dinner, cuz and kulet take out their surprise for me - a chocolate birthday cake - yipeeeeee! Tenchu tenchu! Im really really touched. Alafyu! Of course, this blog won't be complete without a picture or two of the event to help us conjure what really happen that time hihi. Buti na lang, taking pictures is Boss' and Ulrik's new hobby. Willing model! *taas kamay* Tomorrow, I'll add pictures of me, eram and kulet :)

Fringe.... not!

Lorena invited me to join her for hair colouring since one salon is offering a promotion of two for the price of one. So I decided to check on my favorite model - Jennifer Aniston - where she had one hair color that's a little subtle. Instead of finding aniston, I found myself flipping the pages of cosmopolitan and found cindy kurleto. Perfect color and a fringe! I tear off the page and took it to the salon. It's not like I've thought about it a thousand times, I just thought of it after I saw it hehe. I got bored with the way my hair has been, so I guess taking another style wont hurt. Bebit had it, my buntso had it, my inay had a new hairstyle, and nobody got hurt haha, so I guess it won't hurt me either. Honestly? No regrets, framis, but I am just wishing and crossing my fingers that bebe will like it, and of course my friends. I just hope all of them will honestly tell me if it looks good or not. Oh well, even if it's not, that part of my hair was already down the drain.

From salon to mass to dinner at eian's place, another day had passed. I survived 2 days of being alone in our room. *sana walang mumu*

Is it over?

You know how blessings in your life keeps on pouring that you dreaded the moment it will drown you?

Last night, upon ending another wonderful day celebrating my birthday, i lie beside bebe and got a little sentimental. I guess too much happiness, a painful dysmynorrhea, bebe leaving for manila for 2 weeks causes my tear glands to really open hehe. I slept through it all and woke up the next morning in a real hurry. Bebe's flight was 7.50 AM via Jetstar and we woke up 6.30. I don't know how we got to the airport. Everything is a blur. It's already time to say goodbye. Maybe it's how things works for me. When I get used to something and got comfortable with it, it always makes me uber sad when a little change suddenly came up. Or maybe it just saddens me that i'll be going through a big leap in my life and my "human cushion" won't be there to pat my back on my first day?

Oh, speaking of first day, I went through a lot of job interviews, taking a really big decision of saying adieu to my six years of stay in hadaba and to my friends, since month of August started. I have held myself from getting too excited from the wedding preparations and made myself focused on what has to be done first. I've lost one interview that also made me cry because i really thought that i was hopeless and my confidence seems to lost its way back to me since the day i set my foot in hadaba. But as always, GOD had made his point again of letting me know that everything is in HIS hands not mine. Now, I just signed my contract to a new job. Although only 6 months of contract, what they do in their project is what i really wanted to learn. Im guilty of the white lies ive told to my boss and new employer but only bec i wanted to go back to manila for a while. And i've succeed! Yipeee. My hadaba days will end on the 31st of august, ill be in manila from 1 to 6 of september and on the 7th, ill be facing new people and new challenges. I hope that day would be a lucky one for me and everything will go smoothly.

After signing the contract *feeling artista*, we (Eian, Lorena and me) went to Marina and played bowling. We had fun playing two games and ended up our girl's night out with a sweet cravings of Max Brenner.

Day 1 without bebe - survived! Misyah still, bebe.

Unending birthday surprise

I thought my birthday will end having a simple dinner with bebe. After office, I went to Suntec and waited for him. As soon as he got out from the office, we hailed a cab to my surprise (bec there are a lot of hotels around the suntec area), and I looked at him with a questioning look to which he just smiled back. What added more fun to my surprise was how the driver loves to sing and serenades us with the songs of the platters and some old songs. Its like having Frank Sinatra drove us all the way to Mount Faber. Oh yeah, about the surprise, as soon as we got off, it was a real total surprise for me to know that he had made a reservation that I didn't get any hint of. It was really, really romantic! A dinner at the cable car swept my feet off. Sorry Im a sucker for surprises and romantic scenes. For our appetizer, we both had salmon salad and a creamy mushroom soup. Food wasn't all very "wow" but the ambiance and the person im with made me really really in love and happy.

At the middle of our appetizer and cable car tour, I felt dizzy. Because I was sick the whole day *damn woman thing*, I told him how I really appreciate everything and that I was really sorry to feel sick amidst of the whole romantic thing, and asked him if we could have the rest of the dinner somwhere in the restaurant to which he lovingly agreed. But another surprise came up. He took out something from his pocket which is the "ring" and opened it and asked me "will u be my wife?". *It was the second proposal and it's a long story how he got back the ring* My first words after shock? "My ring!". Then I said "Yes, of course!" hehehe. I actually shouted it hihihi. I don't know what I did to deserve this kind of blessings but I really really thanked GOD for "setting me up" with someone sooooo hensem and sweet and loving as my bebe. Things were not perfect for us but I'd rather have bad times with him than good times with someone else.

He asked the waiters waiting for us to serve our main course to just serve it elsewhere bec I was dizzy. I felt bad. =( The waiters set up a table near the place, and was shocked to see a couple also having dinner there who got dizzy too. Later on, bebe admitted to me that he got dizzy too, *i knew it! lack of sleep i guess*, and we had actually fun the whole night. We had our main course, toast with a glass of wine.

After the dinner, since we never had the chance to ask someone to take our picture with the romantic setting of the cable car, we took this shot for a glimpse of what I was talking about.

My birthday is about to end! And I need something to end it beautifully. Ah, a shot of the MRT. Splendid! *Tenks to Inay and Itay's camera hihihi*

For my 30th year, GOD had given me million reasons to be very grateful and utterly jovial with all the things around me now. Though I had a difficult time dealing with some things, still, my faith that He'll never lets me drown to my desolation never cease.

Habedey Me!

I'm 30! And proud of it! The very first birthday gift I got was from my Mom. A very lady-like pointed shoes. I told her that I was already using it, but the truth is, it was still caged in the box hehe. But don't get me wrong, I so love the shoes! I just dont have the guts to wear them... yet. But of course I will, or mom will kill me. Second gift was from Bebe, a week advance birthday gift. :) It was a Coach bag that I've been eyeing for years to which he always adds up "lahat nmn gusto mo basta bag eh". Darn. He knows me too well. Maybe I'm just a bag person hehe. Im blogging it bec I want to remember it when that 3 became 4 on my age. I got ferrero chocz from Maidy. Twit gel. Past 11, I got a call from a number I don't recognize. Well, whaddaya know, she got a delivery for me, a bouquet! Flowers! I love flowers! It's really lovely! Tenchu bebe. Muah muah! Me and my friends had lunch at McDonalds, although 3 were missing, we missed you Ulrik, Eram and Ami, we stil had fun. I thought Inay and Itay and Bossing wont be there bec they're all busy but they all followed few minutes later. My inay and itay surprised me with a lily! Andanda pramis! Tenchu labli peyrens. Alabyu muah! On our way back to the office I got a call from someone although it's a different story, this too, was one of the many gifts that i'll forever be thankful. When I got back, I saw another bouquet of flowers! And they're from Mame Ces. One of my many mommies. *honestly, most of them are all younger than me haha*. She called me this morning to greet me but I never expect that I'll be receiving something from her. Tenchu mame ces. Alabyu. Tenchu tita les for bringing it. Wait, it's not over yet. I got another gift that looks like a bouquet but instead of flowers, a bear was in it holding a rose. I sooo loved it. Tenchu bebit, rak, nixon and noahby. Labyu labyu! Oh, I got a dog, stuffed toy dog, from Naynay! She said she know I missed toffee so she gave me that. Tenchu!

Whew! Andaming blessings! Only for my birthday! I know there are a lot of times that I asked GOD if there are people - friends or family - that cares about me and loves me. Well, GOD said, there it is. Thank you thank you, friends. It's not just the gifts or text messages or pap aps or calls that I got from them, it's the way they remember my special day inspite their busy day. Thank you to my lovely bebe. Kakataba ng puso! Thank you mommy. For all the love and lessons to learn. Thank you God, for I have now found the answers to some of my wonderings and the courage that I thought I never had. This is why I love birthdays and christmas! #Give it to me bebe ah-huh ah-huh.

GIFTS I GOT!

1. a bag i was drooling about - from my bebe

2. a beautiful bouquet - from my bebe... surprises never stopped!

3. its beauty is pure - a lily from my peyrens, inay and itay

4. as bright as the sun's rays - a bouquet of roses from my mame ces and dade lew

5. cute little bwer - from bebit, rak, nixon and noahby

Thank you friends, for making my birthday lunch a meaningful one!

A Romantic Birthday Eve

I was not in the mood to go out last night but bebe insisted. So we went to Que Pasa at the Emerald Hill and i never regret of going out that night. We had a fab quiet evening with a glass of wine and a corny jokes. I am a woman in love, who's crazy about my bebe and can't get enough of being around him. Maybe it's because the way he makes me feel special and laugh at his corny jokes or am i just mababaw? Oh well. Bebe ordered juve and i ordered sartori, both red. I don't know much about wines, but i love having sauvignon everytime because of its fruity taste. Ive tried shiraz but its too strong for me. Nowadays, I noticed that I rarely ordered hard drinks *unlike before* - wine only please. One, you will never get too drunk from it. Two, its cheaper when you go to bars in singapore bec you don't gobble it all up, you sip it and it's a buy time for you to stay in a bar and enjoy people watching without spending 3 beers hehe. Three, its absolutely healthy. At the strike of 12, over a glass of wine, and a "happy birthday, baby" with a sweet kiss, my birthday's couldn't be better. And it's all complete when i received a txt message from my mom. Funny how the time on my phone that my mom sent her greetings was exactly 12 midnight! Thanks mom, I love you so much. From that time on, until this time at exactly 10.22 am writing this entry to my blog, friends greeted me and Im soooo happy. Thank GOD for giving me friends who never forgets the day you really wanted to feel very speacial. =) *Forgot to take our picture =( I was too "inlove" with the setting and with the company hehe*

A *bowling* league of its own

Blog is a person's way of showing someone's personality, if not all, at least half of what he/she is. Sometimes when you've achieved of something in your life and you are so proud of it and you wanted other people to know it without telling the story in a bragging and annoying way, blog is always that something you can use.

Sorry if I may sound too proud, but I really am just happy with what I've achieved today aside from the fact that the past few hours and days of that moment was really toxic. I mean from work. I played because I wanted to release all the stress I had not really meaning to take home that handsome trophy. But I did! And I'm happy. I was telling my friends that it's my first time to take home a trophy like this playing a real sport. Quick background: I was the annoying-shy-type of kid and I never let myself get involved with any activities in school. There was this time that I was chosen by my classmates and teacher as their candidate for the Miss UN, just to tell you how annoying my shyness has been, I cried and pleaded my teacher in front of everyone in our classroom not to enlist me in that Ms UN thing. Pathetic, huh? I've declined a lot of opportunities in my school days, passing up on acting on a play, joining a sports activity in school, too scared to join the school paper as a contributor, classes with impromptu Q & A always almost failed me not because I don't know anything, and up to now I still regret some of it wondering why I let it pass. But hey, in life, good things always comes and it's never too late for you. Thanks to the organizers - Pre, Hono and Pichi. This just proves that even if we know that we're not so much qualified of doing something, important thing is you know very well your capability to do it. I am proud because I, Hani/Nene/Faye, am the champion of the 4th HDB Pinoy IT Bowling League. Yay! Hooray! Wooooottttt! My gratitude can't be enough without my bebe who've been my coach eversince =) *hahaha parang tunay na labanan ah, sensya na tao lang... marunong magyabang!* Congrats to kambal, too. And to Kulet! I forgot who the others were. Too much excitement makes you neglect your surroundings. Pardon me my friends. I didn't even say hi to Dadi M, Tab, 6, and Rosiel because we came late and the game was starting. Apologies *bow down*.

Stressful Thursday/Friday

My hopes went up when I received 4 different phone calls. It was a good sign... I hope. But still, it didn't stopped me from thanking God and hehe bugging Him for another help. None of the phone calls stopped me from worrying though I'm a little relieved now. Work's still up on my neck. Stayed until 9pm :( My mind can't worked anymore but I have to or else! We went straight to East Coast Park at the Seafood Centre to meet Eian, Edward, Eunice, Mary Ann and the kids. Don't know what to call them, hmmmm, the brady brunch will do for the meantime, hehehe. I was famished. Jumbo's version of Singapore's famous Chilli Crab was so gooooodd. Especially the fried bun. Oily but really good. Still feeling the stress up my neck, I asked bebe if we could have a drink. Simpson (Jessica and Ashley) sisters joined us. The four of us went to Acid Bar in Emerald Hill, Sommerset. I tried the Watermelon Martini and it didn't disappoint me from taking the stress off my shoulder. At my last sip, I felt sleepy. We stayed until the last set of the performers who serenades us with jazz music. We reached home at 2am, took a bath, hugged my bebe, felt the sheets of my bed and dozed off.

Stressful Wednesday

Three loads, deadline's next week, non-stop! My rest was that one hour of lunch. Very tiring, really. I think I can count the number of times I've been to the loo, only because i really need to. Still, I couldn't help but think how I could support my family at the end of this month. Darn responsibilities. My anxiety heightens up every single day that makes me nearer to 4th of september. That night, I sent out more resumes and emailed all the agents my friends knows, crossing fingers that hopefully, out of ten, at least 2 would answer.

Stressful Tuesday

Just few minutes after I opened my computer, my boss approaches me. Well, asking about my decision. I gave them what I thought was good enough for the moment. I was thinking the night before that I've been too scared enough to take changes in my life particularly in my career. Too scared. 6 years of being a contractual programmer had helped me a lot. I never took a step to try it outside because I'm too scared to see what the world looks like outside my own little world. Now, with much prayer and guidance that I seeked from God, I told my boss that I won't take the 3 months extension that they're offering me. He was very supportive of my decision. And that afternoon, aside from too much load that was given to me to finish before the week ends, I thought of only one thing. If Ive decided what I thought was God's plan for me, why do I feel fear? Maybe it's just normal. When I'm stressed, few things can cheer me up. And watching a movie was one of them. We watched Click with Eian and Edward at the Cathay Cinema. It's the best movie, as far as Im concerned. I'll probably post an entry about it. It's how good it is. We had dinner, went home and hit the sack. Oh, thank God I still had it. They said they loved my sopas. I just hope they're honest hihihi.

Weekend 2 in August of 2006

I know that it'll take me months to even start with my entry about our trip to Cambodia. So a little fyi about it won't hurt, I guess. We went to Siem Reap, Cambodia 11th of August 'till 13th. It was really tiring, all walk amidst of the powdery streets *pollution, hellooooo*, sweats dripping from the humidity. Weather have been good to us, beside the fact that in Cambodia, August was suppose to be a rainy season. Too good that the sun happily waves its rays on us. I thought one of us will get a heat stroke, fortunately, we survive. Anyway, the rest of the story of our trip will be posted next time... promise! Good weekend though.

Nostalgic Friday Night

I was getting sad every friday where I usually spend my friday night to bars. I was used to having night out's with my friends. Especially when Annie was here or when Rosiel still works from where I work. We go out on wednesdays where every bar in town especially our fave - Insomnia - held a sign "Ladies Night", and on fridays and saturdays. Can you blame me missing the usual thing Im doing? I don't know what's wrong with me but I always get nostalgic every friday night that im just staying at home. I guess I just miss going out in a bar with my girlfriends having fun dancing and getting a bit drunk hehe. Not that my social life is getting blurred, i do go out all the time with my friends. Oh well, I guess that part of my life is over. Im just being sentimental for a very little reason.

Anyway, we went for bowling that friday night. I just skipped on BJ (Botak Jones), since I have to go to Orchard for Ella's pictures for her birthday party. Being alone, on a friday night made me write this kind of thing. I wasn't sure how bebe's gonna stay patient with me on this hehehe. It's usually his "day out" and I just bugged him with my nonsense which I held on the details for some reason *wink*. I wasn't my pretty self that night *sorry guys* that I thought of just going home instead of going to Marina but held back since I know that I won't be doing anything at home. But I did enjoyed the whole time I was with them. It's my way home that made me go back to my sentimental foolishness. We went home around 12. Still looking forward to going out. With that, I ask for a cig which I've been reluctantly doing for the past few months. Im no addict. I do puff, but only when Im at a bar. Sigh. It's sad to see that chapter of my life is over. I guess you just missed something or someone when you know that you're having the best time of your life when they're around.

Sentimental Thought

Few more hours to go and it's now time to say goodbye to July. A lot of things are bound to happen in August. And month after that. A lot of things that could steer you away from the life that you got used to. From everyday waking up in the morning doing the same old thing at work for the past six years. From looking forward every week to weekends so you can go out with your friends. From everyday lunch, eating together with your friends telling each other stories and realizing how you had fun without fully realizing what you had for lunch. From looking forward to tell your friends all the good things happening in your life not meaning to brag but it's always good to know that a lot of people is happy for you. Some very good things in life are bound to end. Of course, there's always a window of opportunity to let another much better things to happen, but if you've been very comfortable with all the things around you, why look forward to another good thing? But life is made that way. It has to move one. Because somehow, somewhere, with reasons that we alone could not explain, people and friends could grow tired of having us around. New things always excites human. It's their nature. It may be your nature to just sit and get relaxed with all the things around you, people have different DNA's, different fingerprints, all different from one another. Yes, in a month's time, I would be saying adieu. To my work, to my workplace, to my bosses, especially to my friends. It's poignant how people have to say goodbye to things they've grown to love. I don't want to be this sentimental at an early stage but it just hit me. And I still haven't found any job yet. Although good things are happening now at the moment, it still can't be enough to alleviate the little sadness in my heart. I just wish I could have the power to control everything and be it according to what I could be comfortable with. I guess every people wished for this. Or it's just me always wishing to have an easy life.

Rants

There are things in life though how difficult it is for you to go on in life, you can't seem to unload your feelings towards your friends. It's like feeling worst telling it to some close friends than keeping it by yourself. And so being alone is one of the best option. Your concern touches me my dear friends. I may not look fine, but I will be... in time. Every wound heals without us realizing it.


"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." - Neil Gaiman

Flat Line

have u ever have that "someone" that you actually never had?

have u ever felt something just by looking at them and suddenly realized how much you missed them?

have u ever thought how u always longed for something that you can't have? or maybe it's just bec of the fact that you wanted to have it bec u know u can't have it?

have you ever wondered for so many times how good it will be to kiss someone especially when they look weary, tired or sad?

so many wonderings in just a matter of minutes. your sanity flew out of you the moment your heart beats faster than its normal pace. the moment your eyes met amidst of chaos, there's a pain inside u that you can't just seem to understand. seems like for you it never stops. seems like for them you're already history.

rational people still do stupid things, so judgement is not always an option.

GA Addiction

I'm one of them now. Those who sleep late at night just to catch up with the previous episodes of Grey's Anatomy. Those who walks in the office like a zombie with big eye bags and heavy eyes, and uncontrollable yawning. Yep, that's me. Guilty as charge. Ok, I'm exaggerating. But it is really getting out of hand. "Seriously". Been making my night time as my day time. I have tried drinking a glass of wine every night with every meal just to be able to sleep at an early time. It's effective alright, and my eyes are getting heavy, but after I hit the shower, my nerves are alive again. And so it begins. Maybe what I need is to change my strategy, don't you think? Oh well, time will come that I'll be able to watch all of it. All I need is a cup of hot coffee, lots of it. Hmmmm, maybe it's time to try espresso.

Sorry, forgot to tell what's good about Grey's Anatomy. Except for the "ewwww" part of seeing the insides of a person to which I think Im beggining to appreciate, the respect and admiration that i have for the doctors, nurses and all those peope who have spent almost their entire life trying to save other people's setting aside their own have grown. A thousand reasons to watch it, believe me. Every perspective changes and lies to each individual. It's not about the unfathomable relationship between derek and meredith, or cristina and burke, it's about everything else.

Sometimes, we read and watch movies or series for that matter, just to be able to grasp the other possibilities of life. Of going through something heartbreaking without really feeling it in reality, of appreciating the works of some people we never cared to look at how they live their life and only knowing how much they earn, of being in a place you will never imagine to be at except being sick which of course every people dismay, of being in a situation where deciding is the worst thing you'll ever do and thanking GOD that you were not in their shoes, of feeling the pain of someone dying in front of you when all you aim to do is to save that person. Isn't it wonderful how people deal with their everyday lives and still get out of every painful situation no matter how difficult it is? How we always whine about what we have, totally clueless of how lucky we are compare to others? How I, "seriously", am getting on your nerves just to convince you to watch it? Well, it's your loss. Hehehe. "Seriously".

Club Med, Ria Bintan (June 23 - 25, 2006)

I woke up this morning with eyes still closed but trying to grasp the sound of the waves. Oh my God, I can't hear it. I'm back to reality. I'm off to paradise now. Good days are over. Time to earn again to sustain the little pleasures in life that I wanted. It's just sad to think that the relaxation times are only 1% of your stressful days. But I guess it's true that it is what it makes it worthy of. I took a 2 hour time off and let my mind clench the actuality of my surroundings. Good to be back though. So for now, give this lady a chance to recount the "relaxing days" she'd had the past 2 days. Either bear with it or relive the good experience.

Before the Club Med days...
Ffg's company were to held a some sort of company outing in Ria Bintan, Indonesia. And as soon as I heard it will be in Club Med, I did not hesitate to say yes. It was a Resort only for members, I heard and it was too expensive for non members to go there. I think it's highly over-rated, yes, but yeah I was caught in that yearning to at least have a taste of it. Why not, when you're going there paying only about 20% of what it costs. So let's go for the roller coaster ride.

June 23, 2006
At exactly 5.45pm, as soon as I got out from the office, I hailed a cab and went directly to Tanah Merah ferry station. The ferry should leave at 7:30 pm so time is not that restraint. It only took us 45 minutes to reach the immigration at the Bintan and by 9.30pm Singapore time, we went directly to our rooms. Bintan was an hour behind Singapore so our timing couldn't be any better, well whaddaya know, it's dinner time! Wow, aside from the fact that it was a buffet, there are a lot of foods around! With all kinds of dessert you can dream of! And an all you can drink house wine! Free! Wheeeee. After the very hearty dinner, we stroll around the hotel, and there were a lot of activities and fun not only for the kids but for the adults too. It was run by hundreds of people around club med, and aside from the chef's, gardeners, waitresses, waiters, there's this group they called G.O. team. *Forgot what it meant, though* This team embraces at least 30 people around from different parts of the country. Some are from Mauritius, Japan, Korea, Australia, France and a lot more. Different people, different cultures, different skin colors, different language. It's like having a holiday in the United Nation. Anyway, going back to my story, after we felt a bit of exhaustion, we went back to our room and took a shower and head back again to the lobby where a bar was located. We played darts, but gone off to bed in an hour. Room was not that good though, if I may say so. It's OK but it's not WOW. Ok, yeah Im a freak. I always look for the interior decoration of the rooms of every hotel I've gone through, so, sorry if i had to steal a few lines about it.

June 24, 2006
A first for me to woke up 7 in the morning singapore time (6 am Bintan time), of my own free will. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, went to the room's terrace and relished the sweet sound of the waves of the ocean few meters away from our room. It was a delight and so tranquil. I literally closed my eyes and let my mind absorbed the
resonance that brought me serenity. I'm a bit OA but I really felt it. So I took my book out and read it in the terrace. Just like what I've been dreaming to do. After a few moment, I woke up ffg. We had our breakfast, then we stroll along the shore. We were aiming to do the windsurfing but unfortunately we can't do that for the reason I can't remember. So we opt for kayaking instead. I was scared at first because I always get sea sick whenever I ride anything that moves on the water. But it was all fun. I had the best time having fun with my baby. Kayaking looks easy for me but I had it all wrong. I have to work my muscles and paddle accordingly to ffg who sat in front of the kayak. After kayaking, we went for sailing with the loudest person ever. He was part of the Club Med team and knows how to maneuver the boat. He said he was from Mauritius, a big black guy but with a golden voice. It's a dream! Feeling the wind on our face, touching the water with someone singing. It's like being part of the LOST series but with a lot of hope to survive and get out of the island. We're moving as far as the wind can blow us and as fast as it could. If the wind stopped, which can be impossible, we'll be trapped in the middle of the sea. Kayaking and Sailing are a first for me so please spare me the space to brag about it. Though nothing of a camera to prove it, it was etched on my memory. A glorious day, it was. And though it's expensive, I'll say you have to try it too. After the tiring activity, we headed for lunch which was followed afterwards with snorkeling. Uh-oh not me. Only ffg. This I have to pass. I've tried it a lot of times but it didn't bring me any good. Yessiree, Sea-sick! I've waited for him on the shore, while reading my book. Good thing I brought a really great book by James Patterson titled "The Lake House". When they got back, we head back to our room, and while waiting for ffg, I dozed off. Tired indeed. When I woke up, it's already dinner time. Talking about good life, huh. Plus the fact that I don't need to cook, hehehe. We had dinner along with ffg's friends, Kit-yan with his wife and daughter, Michael and his gf Noy, and Stephan and Barbara. Had too much wine, hehe. After the dinner, we headed for the bar and the guys played pool. After the game, we went to the lobby and watched Germany - Sweden game. 2-0. Yep, I've survived watching the whole match. And I kinda like it. It was one full pack night.

June 25, 2006
Ok, nothing much to say here. It rained the whole day. And although our ferry's at 5pm, we have to checked out at 11 and leave the hotel at 3.30. We did stroll along the beach for a while half an hour befor it rained. We never get a chance to do any activity. So as all the good things that ends up hastily, we always say, Waahhhhhh, it's over!!!!

Good weekend, though. Sorry to bore with this long article. I just want something to help me remember things like these. =)

Six-Six-O-Six

I guess no matter what you've been through, caused by someone, you can't help remembering them once in a while. Somehow thinking of the what-could-have-beens and what-ifs in your life if they never did a magical desertion causing an emotional tremor. Oh well, life's a bitch. And we can't do anything about it. But this, comes from the bottom of my tattered heart. . .

Happy Birthday, Otrebron!

Azkaban

am i wrong to think that married life will caused you much pain than anything else in the world? am i wrong to be cynic in going through another chapter of life where there's more conflict, verbal abuse and sometimes physical mistreatment, financial difficulties, insecurities and more? Although I'm aware of some of the incomprehensible bliss that this chapter of life brings, still, the unending circumstances of getting hurt is much more intense than the latter. I used to be so agitated about weddings but now that getting married requires a lot of funds, plus the fact that what I've said earlier about married life is not that alluring, I'm hesitating now to be thrilled about it. It's like your paying an expensive "ticket" to a place I now called "Azkaban". I hate to be pessimist about something that I myself haven't experienced yet. But I have walked this far, meeting a lot of people - married people, who have shared their quandaries with me, and I may have not seen the worst or the best part of their life, I'll say I have seen enough to put fear in my heart. This, I say, based on my own opinion and not yearning for others to deem the same way I do. I hope this fear won't be nurtured...

AngMOs

For years it never ends, it never change. It's always been and it always will be. We against those we call by different names. We're not the one who's racist, they are. Or I guess they were just born with a petite body attached to a big dumb head. We call them by different names, which varies according to their etiquette not that they have them, only few were blessed. We have nanay, tatay, kuya, siemens, tapia, bart, manoy, abay, dragon, tenga, dingbats, bopols, spice, bungisngis, bulaklak, silverswan, sisa, utot, ubo, balakang, tibo, tuliro, politiko, tutubi, ingay and many others that most of us we're familiar with those names rather knowing their real bitchy names. They were otherwise known as the "amos". So when some lost staff was around our department asking people by their name, we, the measly sipi's, have no idea who they are. Unless, well it's only known to us, call them by their cutesy moniker which i think very much speak of their personality. Although it's always true that in every rule there is always an exception, and yes, I have been blessed with a team with "amos" that do not belong to the "dark side". Thank God. At least I do not need to deal with that stupendous shallow head of those "uber epal amos". My highschool buddies will definitely deny of who I've become now compare to who I was back then. Well, it pays a bit because as time goes by you have gain the power of knowing your rights in living and working with people from different upbringing, different beliefs and different races.

Mentos Moment

I, have a confession to make, a very amusing narrative that happen to me during our lunch break. After we satiate our cravings for McDonalds twister fries and a free choco sundae, we stroll around toa payoh heading back to our office. We were laughing hard about something and then I thought "excessive happiness" and in an instant I tripped and my right sandals' strap broke. At first, I dragged my feet like a frankenstein on the street but to no avail. One of my friend suggested to carry me on his back - although it was the kindest offer, i decline - ewww ate shawie's pasan ko ang daigdig suddenly flashed back to me hahaha, and one asks me to wait right where Im standing so they can buy a new one for me - awwww so sweet but this too I refuse very kindly. Since I do not want to give them any trouble, I took off my other shoe and throw it in the trash and walked towards the shoe store - barefoot! It was no big deal but I just thought of sharing it with you guys not to add insult to my own injury and totally humiliate myself, but I thought it was kind of funny actually. I didn't yield in to the embarassment of the situation, instead I focused on what needs to be done and of course having a new - although cheaper - pair of shoes. Oh, I couldn't deny what happen earlier bec my friends "documented" it. Hahahaha. Darn!

Be brave little one

It’s been a tough week for her and though I’ve tried to think of the best words that could ease at least a bit of what’s on her shoulders, there’s none but be there for her and listen. Today, in between those sobs, I listened wordlessly, unable to say any reassuring words, and just cried as soon as I put down my phone after that call from her. It’s not a tears of pity nor of hatred to somebody but of uncertainty as to why life was never fair for any of us. It’s iniquitous to let someone who’s famished to see a bag of chips and not let that person have a taste of it. I know that GOD has His own reasons why things like these happen. But I can’t help but question the inexplicable verity of life. Why do we always have to come across a few good things in life that even if we worked hard to get it, it still remain distant and left us in pain and into wondering where will this leads us? Am I right to think that there’s no such thing as utterly bliss? I have walked a thousand miles, scarred, obtain few good reasons to be very happy only to find the equal significant ones to lose their way and out of my hands? I guess she had the wrong choice of friend in me. Because I am not brave and I do not have that “gift” to ebb her pain. I know it’s unbearable and hard and tears won’t stop from falling because it’s all part of it. I can’t tell her it’s ok and to stop worrying because I know it’s not and it won’t go away that easily. So I guess that leaves me worthless??? Ugh, I hate this word.

“Lean on me, not because I’m strong but because GOD is pushing me to stand tall for you." - Inah.Ynna(f)

Mission Accomplished!

Today is a no-work day but we didn't let this day go to waste by just lying around our cribs. We meet up the pasaway kidz at quarter to 2 and went to Toa Payoh Safra to try climbing the wall. Oh yes, you heard it right. WALL CLIMBING! I've been longing to do this for ages, so forgive me if I'll talked about it like it's a big achievement for me hehe.

Anyway, we meet up with the instructor, DIN, and went directly to the customer service to pay for the fee. Since it was raining, and obviously we can't used the outdoor climbing, we were ushered inside the gym to use the indoor climbing. The gym in toa payoh safra wowed me. It was huge with complete fitness equipment and a jacuzzi inside the loo! Or maybe I just got used to see the small, cramped, smelly sight of our gym in HDB, hihihi. But if you gonna ask for my opinion, signing up for membership like this is far better than signing up for a membership with famous fitness centres. Ok, im getting off the tracks. By 3pm, we started by DIN teaching us few tips in climbing and taught us how to secure our harness. Then it's show time! Boss started it and looking at him doing it, the girls got pretty nervous. Hello, we can see the effort! I almost backed up! When it's my turn, DIN clipped the safety rope and attached to my harness. As I started climbing, I found the foot holds and hand grips easy to use, but as I got higher, I found it hard to think where to put my feet on and luckily, DIN patiently assist me on this very first experience of working my ass up to reach the top. Believe me it's not a joke but it surely is a wonderful experience. And those times that we have worked hard going to the gym three times, at least, in a week, wasn't enough. It was a hard work grabbing those hand grips. Oh, by the way, for those 3 attempts, none of us had made it to the top. It was hard! And it's a bit frustrating not to reach the eight square when you have already made it to the seventh. Funny how we feel like the clock is ticking very slowly or we're all just too tired to try it again after three attempts. DIN asked us to try the outdoor since the rain just stopped. And as obedient as a kindergarten, we followed him through the muds. After setting up the clip that will hold the rope, I get to be the one to try it first. It was a bit easier than the one inside because the hand grips and foot holds are easier to grab. Although it's a bit slippery, I, aherm, managed to make it to the top. And yes, I am bragging, hehehe. Because after all those years that I've waited to do this, I really felt a great sense of achievement reaching the top of the wall. It was one hell of an experience! Although most of us are doing climbing for the first time, I could say that all did well, very well in fact. Thanks to our very kind instructor who was patient enough to assist 9 "pasaway" kidz. Thank you Din!

After the tiring activity, we head to Gluttons Bay - the place that's becoming our favorite, and replenish the energy we lost from impersonating the famous Mr Spidey Spiderman. A day's full of fun! Im hoping there will be next time! Yippeeeeeee.

We missed the rest of the pazawayz, Inay and Itay who's very excited preparing for their honeymoon getaway hihihi, Fenk who's enjoying now with her family, Yao who's busy *always* working, Nonoy who's I dunno doesn't want spend fun times with us hehehe, Jack who's uhhhmmmm he's actually not there most of the time hehehe, and G who made it to the glutton's bay... well, after we've consumed most of the food.

Friendster

I was browsing my friendster account the other night hoping i'll get a reply from Quincy (waaaaaaa dvd's ko huhuhu), and I saw my list of friends with the updated profile and saw my bunso's account. So I went through it, and wonder how time pass by so fast that i didn't realize (or i just dont want to accept) how grown up she is even if I've seen her in her debutant gown, 'coz for me she's still my baby. She got tons of pictures of her friends and us *yey andun ako*, pure bliss painted on her sweet angelic face, i silently utter a prayer to God to make her strong and not just her but apple and kendz too, to make them realize the value and sweetness of life's beauty. I hope they won't endure any more pain though I know it's not possible. She had grown up, they all grown up, without me beside them. It's saddens me knowing their friends knows so much about them than me, their own ate. I don't even know what they like now. All that memories I have now about them, i think they have outgrown most of it. Maybe that's the main reason why I still think of them not as a grown up ladies but as little kids. My mind was stuck to tweety, hello kitty and tazmanian devil as their favorites. I still thought that Jollibee tsiken joy can make them ecstatic. There are a lot of things that Ive missed, that I never had the chance to witnessed, that makes me think how far i've been to reach out to them, and sometimes it scares me. I can't make up for those times that was lost. I can't bring back those days when they needed someone to listen to them and celebrate with them during those happy times. Though, I never regret any of me being away from them, i can't say that things like these never occurs my mind. It does, it always do, it's just that "choice" has never been on my side. Thanks to Friendster for I still get a glimpse of what my kidz have become.

Home

he was once lost, unable to find the way
stumble upon a place, baffled, he dwells

life was a moment bliss, utterly inexplicable
through its perplexities, he tried to grasp
accepting amiss, defying the intricacy it convey

but amidst of it all, he resolutes to cease
heart is aching, there is no forever
impaired and shabby, he rise and stride

unleashing its exquisiteness, he grieves
but now without complexities, he's finally home...

Just a thought

I believe that each individual has their own way of solving their plight. Being tough and learning not to be feeble is something that you can not learn even from the best school in the world. It is one of the cynicism of life. There may be times in your life that you will be weak and won't be able to contain yourself from yielding in to some things that were categorized as a wrong doing, but God will always find a way to pick you up and tell you that it's gonna be alright. But you have to realize when it's really time for you to be brave enough to let go of things that you don't want to let go of and worry about the "healing time" afterwards. It's not easy and it will never be. But all wounds heal in time. I may have heard the same old story, I may have step on it sometime in my life, but the way each person fought for it is always different from the other. But I always believe that in every predicament there will always be a lesson learned and that God never fails to alleviate the "heavy loads" you are carrying on your shoulder.

Hour Game

I bought this book accidentally when we were strolling at the carrefour and fortunately they were having a $5 book sale that time. There's not much of titles to check out but since it was Baldacci's, it caught my attention and so I bought it. Now I'm hooked with it and just thought of "googling" the story and found out that it happened in the 60's. About the Zodiac Killer, I mean. Although I haven't finished the book yet, *hehe*, it's what a reader could ask for in a mystery/suspense thriller novel. Maybe I'll try finishing it up so I could really tell if it's worth it. =)

Back Again!

Ok, guilty! Been in and out of blogging world since i don't know know when for some reasons. First, pc games! Im addicted, im hooked, im drawn to it. Second, just started my program *thanks ulrik*, and I've been regularly going to the gym for 3 weeks! Third, Badminton. I just feel like there's too much going on so I cant find the time to even write a short hello to the bloggin world. You'll forgive me, right?

Anyway, ffg's BIL, will be staying with us until June, *i think*. My cousin's hubby is going back to Manila for good =( *sniff, la na ko kuya dito*, my bebi apple got a job, my family's doing well, my relationship's doing ok after a big storm, my work's doing well - been trying to upgrade my skills *thanks bossing* and it'll be ending on September, my friend pagong got something going on with her and Im very happy for her, envy of course but very much happy for you hehehe, Eian and Edward along with the kidz will be moving back to singapore yipeee, talked to Annie and she seems doing fine *mishu mars*, don't know anything about Joey hehehe, watched Fort Minor concert few months ago, hmmm what else, Oh these are the good things that's happening to me right now, and the not so good things list is very long so I thought of not writing it here. I always thank GOD for all the things and blessings Ive had and I'll always will.

So for now, that's all folks! 'Till next and promise that next time won't be as long as ive been idle before... i hope.

One of those days

how do u get over of something that depresses you?
you talked about your feelings, they give you advise
but does it make any difference or was it the same thing?

is happiness only over rated?
do u have to feel the pain to have a taste of glee?
can't we just live life full of euphoria?

only you can make your life easier without any complications
only you can lighten up the burden you're carrying on ur back
do you reckon the things that could really let you feel the bliss?

you divulge it to people, you write to your blog
did it solve any of it, or did you just whisper to the wind?

Back again!

I have been idle for God knows how long. I've been busy. I have walked in an emotional tunnel but no worries, just like the past years of my life, I have walked out of it, undamaged... i hope. I have been busy at work, for the first time. A week's overtime is a first for me. Idiocy devours my sanity again. For the second time i lost my handphone and i think stupidity is a very kind word for it. But I managed to have a new phone that I really like, thanks to my angel. My sister got a job. My bunso got a part time job. My mom worries about me. I got friends who sometimes make my life miserable but all the time making it wonderful. Thousand blessings to thank God and a few things to lament. Still, I am so grateful for the way my book of life is written. There may be hundred things that I want to have in my hands now, but I know it's not yet the right time. I have to believe that one's happiness lies not in the completeness of the things we wanted but in the contentment with the things we have now. Life's miserable if we aim for the things we know we can't have at the moment. I hope I could live my life with this saying. =) 'Till next... I'm finally back!

Abril

abril na.
panibagong buwan.
panibagong pahina na naman ng kalendaryong pipilasin ko.
narito pa rin ako.
nagiintay.
umaasang nawa'y mapansin mo sa kahit anong paraan.
lahat ng ingay ginawa ko na, narinig mo ba ako?
ikaw lang ang iniintay ko.
marami mang dumating, ikaw pa rin ang iintayin ko.
... dumating man ang disyembre, ikaw at ikaw pa rin.

rant

how long will you let fear control your sanity and trashed the unprejudiced personality in you?

do u always wish for things to be running the way it has been until you meet the end?

never let someone feel bad about something bec u never know how hard it is for them to keep that smile while hurting.

Thanks

I appreciate the kindness and concern... very much. God knows how glad I am for people like you. But I believe in the saying "Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over." Friends don't need to talk about what's in the past. There are things that can be easily forgotten and go back to the things they used to be, but there are things that's said and done and cannot undo just like that. Some things happen without us realizing that we tend to hurt the people we care about without any intention. I may have hurt few people but i have my own reasons and I expect you to respect that as I am respecting your reasons for hurting me.

Rumour has it

"I didn't come here to tell you I can't live without you. I can live without you. I just don't want to." - Sarah Huttinger (Rumour Has It)

Let's do our part

"An entire barangay (village) was literally wiped out last Friday, 17 February 2006, when a mudslide buried Guinsaugon, one of 30 barangays in St. Bernard town, Southern Leyte. Close to 2,000 people were estimated to have been buried in an instant."

*A demise that once again breaks the hearts of many people especially mine. I didn't post much of it for no reason. There's not much we can do but to pray and help by donating few cents from our pocket that could be a big help to those in need so here's few ways to help. Leyte Blogspot

-----------------------------------------

Message from the Phil Embassy in Singapore
To all Filcom Leaders/ Organizations:
Re: 22 Feb 06 email on donation for landslide victims, kindly note that donations may be made directly to the following Philippine agencies:

I. Philippine National Red Cross (PNRC) at the following bank account numbers:
Peso Account
Bank : MetroBank, Port Area Branch
Account : Philippine National Red Cross
Account No. : SA-3-041-63122-8

Bank : Bank of the Philippine Islands, UN Avenue Branch
Account : Philippine National Red Cross
Account No. : SA-8114 ? 0308 - 4

Bank : MetroBank, Port Area Branch
Account : PNRC ? Southern Leyte Relief Operations
Account No. : SA- 151-3-15151391-4

Dollar Account
Bank : MetroBank, Port Area Branch
Account : Philippine National Red Cross
Account No. : SA-2-151-00218-2
Swift Code : MBTC PHMM

Contact Person : Mr. Victor A. Liozo, Jr.
Secretary General, PNRC
Tel: (632)524-5787/Fax: 527-5981/
Telefax: 527-0857

Ms. Gwendolyn Pang
Director of Fund Generation
Mobile No: +63-917827-7421
Email: gwenpang@redcross.org.ph (24 hrs)

II. Department of Social Welfare and Development
Disaster Response Operation Monitoring & Information Center, (DROMIC), Batasan Pambansa Complex, Constitution Hills, Quezon City, Philippines.

Bank : Landbank of the Philippines,
Batasan Branch
Account Name : DSWD Donation
Account No. : 3122-1011-84
Contact Person : Ms. Vilma Cabrera, Director IV, Program Mgt. Bureau
DSWD (Tel : 632-9319147/Fax : 632-951-2801)


III. Department of Health
(donation of medicines)

Contact Person : Dr. Carmencita Banatin
Director III, Health Management Staff Department of Health
Attn: Ms. Merlina Villamin, Logistics Officer
Tel : (632) 929-6923
Telefax : (632) 929-6867/929-6827


Those who wish to donate items indicated in the "Wish List", you may drop them at :
1) Filipino Association of Singapore (FAS)
C/o Afreight Cargo
Unit 03-19 Lucky Plaza (Orchard Road)

2) Prudential Life Plans, Inc.
#03-01A Lucky Plaza (Orchard Road)

3) Philippine Embassy
20 Nassim Road

Deadline for dropping of items at the Embassy and at Lucky Plaza is on April 9, 2006.

We would appreciate if you could inform your members and friends on this update.

Thank you.

-----------------------------------------

Hello Again

unexpectedly u see someone u once knew
time stopped, contemplating what u feel
was it bliss? was it pain?
or was it something of mixed emotions?
that moment u wanted to say hi
but something held u, decided not to
abruptly u were brought back to the past
and everything that u tried to disregard
all came apparently and vividly
and so u asked urself only one question
why do i have to run into you?


"There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some love that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity. Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever." - Ally McBeal

Leyte Landslide

Tragedy strikes disaster-prone Leyte island again

SOME of the Philippines' worst disasters -- and one of the country's biggest moments in history -- have involved Leyte, one of the largest of the archipelago's 7,100 islands.

Hundreds may have been killed when a landslide Friday buried an entire farming village in thick mud and house-sized boulders.

Leyte etched its place in history after it was chosen by General Douglas MacArthur as the beachhead for his return to the Philippines, a former US colony, to liberate the country from Japanese troops in 1944.

The famous October 20, 1944, Leyte landing by MacArthur fulfilled his "I shall return" promise to the Philippines, and preceded the October 22-27 Battle of Leyte Gulf that involved more than 730 ships in one of history's largest naval battles.

Leyte's most famous daughter, former first lady Imelda Marcos, said she entertained MacArthur and liberation troops by singing for them.

More recently, the island has been linked to disasters, both natural and manmade.

In December 1987, the ferry MV Dona Paz -- carrying passengers from Leyte and nearby Samar island to Manila -- sank after colliding with a fuel tanker in the central Philippines, killing 4,340 people. It was considered the worst peacetime shipping disaster.

In October the following year, the Paz's sister ship, Dona Marilyn, which was sailing from Manila to Leyte, sank during a typhoon, killing about 250 people.

Tragedy struck the island again in November 1991 when a flash flood swept down from the hills into Ormoc city on the western side of Leyte, killing about 6,000 people. A landslide in San Francisco, in southern Leyte province in December 2003, killed 133 people.

The island, about 560 kilometers (350 miles) southeast of Manila, is in the path of most of the typhoons that sweep from the Southern Pacific to the Philippines, and its southern portion experiences rainfall most of the year.

Name Game

Saw this from one of the random blogs i've been reading tonight. So I thought, why not? :)

FAYE
Your name of Faye has created a practical, responsible, stable nature, and you desire to direct the efforts of others rather than to take order or ask permission. You have a determined, self-reliant, capable nature and resent any interference, although in your desire to help you are inclined to become involved in the lives and decisions of other people. You like to make your own decisions and to be the master of your domain. You feel a limitation in your own expression when it is necessary to reach another through tact and understanding.

Although the name Faye creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it causes a blunt expression that alienates others. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses through worry, mental tension, and tension or accidents to the head.

Testi

Have anyone ever said the nicest thing to you? After my uber drama "wadaydu" article last night, i logged on to my friendster account and saw that i have a pending testimonial. While going through it, I utter a simple thanks to God for showing me that I still have friends. =) Thanks bebit. You just don't know how this thing had helped me, to think that this message was sent 4 days ago. Labsyu! =)

"a girl hu transformed from girlie to nene to hani(?!?) wadahel! nyahaha! during our 1st encounter *prang masagwa* i was kinda aloof of her. she strikes as a high-class sophisticated bitz (naks!) but as d tide moved on, we shared a friendship dat rily touches my heart, soul and spirit *syet san b papunta to..di ako lesbo framis!* i can prove dat she rily treasures friends as if dey are rily part of her system. just dont mess with her, ul c d haunted enormous bitz in her! she's a cool gal, likes to hang out *ICB woohoo!!!* and sudoku adik lately hehe! d chatroom is dull w/o her.. *kahit cno kinukulit!*... hani, it's been tough i know, but rmber dat we're walking besides u *topa topa barega na to!* i'm so hapi about 'd stone' but life has twist n turns dat we jst hav 2 deal with..so be strong. let's doh it! hehe! cheers! aylafyu! mwah! :)"

Life is...

"Life is about letting go not holding on. Life is about three things. 1. if you have loved deeply, 2. if you have lived fully and lastly, 3. if you have let go of the things or people you care about." Inspirational words shared by the priest during the mass. I thought of sharing it to all of you too. Help me to offer a prayer for the people who passed away in the Wowowee Stampede. May God help the families of those people to be strong.

Wawawi Stampede

The stampede news saddened me. Every filipino mourns. My deepest sympathy to the family of those who have died in the stampede. A prayer is the only thing I can do to offer as of this moment. This is not the time to put the blame on anybody but to focus on the things that need to be done. =(

TV network cancels anniversary celebration of noontime show
First posted 12:26pm (Mla time) Feb 04, 2006
INQ7.net, Agence France-Presse

(UPDATE) ABS-CBN Network has cancelled the first anniversary celebration of its noontime show after over 70 people were killed and scores were injured in a stampede at the stadium where the program was to be held.

Charo Santos-Concio, a top executive of the television station, and "Wowowee" host Willie Revillame made the announcement in a brief telecast of the program, hours after the tragedy at the Philsports arena, previously known as ULTRA, in Pasig City early Saturday.

Revillame made a brief appearance inside the stadium, where thousands of people were already gathered, to apologize for the accident and condole with the families of the victims.

Revillame was in tears as he appealed to the audience to understand the decision by the station to postpone the celebration.

Earlier on Saturday, Revillame said he wanted the show to go on.

Thousands of people from poor communities had been lining up to get a seat inside the Ultra Stadium in eastern Manila for the noontime show when the stampede occurred at dawn.

The show offers a one million-peso top prize, attracting people from poor areas of Manila and far-flung provincial areas.

Hours later, thousands of surviving fans were still queuing for the show, despite the deadly stampede, waiting to enter the stadium.

"We only wanted to make these people happy and to help the poor," Revillame said, breaking down during an interview aired by the station immediately after the tragedy.

"I want the show to go on. I can't stop this. The people have suffered enough." He also appealed to fans who were still at home to refrain from going to the stadium.

He said Saturday's show would mark the first anniversary of the program, and that the show was offering two top prizes of one million pesos each -- a fortune to the 40 percent of Filipinos who live on two dollars a day or less.

Revillame said the station was used to having up to 5,000 people line up outside the studio gates on the nights before the weekend program, but that it had never before hosted the show at the Ultra stadium.

"Some would come from far-flung places, groups of families who would hire one mini-bus and agree to split the prize if one of them won," he added.

Revillame said he had made it a point to stage the game shows at other provincial centers several times during the past year. "We would pick places where the poor are hard-up," he added.

"This is a program that intends to help Filipinos, especially the poor," he said.

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74 people died, mostly were elderly women
nearly 400 injured

Other Related News:
Reuters
Taipei Times
Indian Express

Enero

The last week of January had brought me a lot of happy memories. Well, a good thing to start my new year right. And I thank GOD for the chances that He always gave me to put a smile on my face. A thousand reasons to always look forward to a brand new day :)

Jan 01 - Great way to start the year! I was celebrating it with my family watching a movie, shopping and dining out!

Jan 02 - Saddest maybe but not entirely. Still glad I spend my christmas vacation with my family. =) And fun part of it was having a brunch at Chowking with my family - all 6 of us!

Jan 09 - Ate Kendz's 24th Birthday! Bebi's back in town yipee.

Jan 10 - Holiday.

Jan 20 - Watched "Memoirs of a Geisha" with friends. Nightout at ICB with Bebi Boo.

Jan 21 - Couzin Jun and Couzin Aidz spent the night with us having dinner and drinking booz till the wee hours of the night. Family Bonding! Yawza!

Jan 22 - Bebit's Bday and Baby Shower party!

Jan 25 - Our 7th Yr Anniv! Bebi sent me flowers in the office and we had dinner at Mandarin Oriental. Fab and sweet!

Jan 27 - Cich's bday celebration. Im always having fun playing with kidz :) Lately, I hope it's not that obvious having a favoritism, but I love playing with a one year old pretty bebi Jaja. She knows how to tickle one's heart :)

Jan 28 to 29 - Bintan Time!!!

Jan 30 - We went to Sentosa to check out the flower festival. I took a lot of pictures and I'm proud of some of the shots hihi.

Jan 31 - spent the time cleaning and doing my laundry. watched run with dick and jane.

That was my january memories. Im adding it now to my happy box so when things aren't that pretty, i can always have thousand reasons to smile :) Im now hoping for 11 more months of blissful memories :) Hope y'all had whole lotta month of fun!