Im too sad tonight =(

It was a long story and I'll be blogging about it maybe next week when my anger and sadness subsides. I've been calling my sister apple and she's been cancelling my calls, obviously not wanting to talk to me. I dont know the reason but maybe she doesn't want to get scolded or being asked of how she left our youngest home alone. It really saddens me thinking of how much sacrifice you've made to certain people in your life especially those you love the most and all you got is this... I don't wanna brag about how much helped I've given them and Im not asking much from them. All I want is respect and a little appreciation of what I am in their life. If they can do this to me, how much more to our mom? Heartaches brought by friends and guys I've been in love with is nothing compared to what Im dealing now. I've tried every ways I can just to reach out to them but to no avail. I feel like I dont matter at all to them. I hope GOD will help me to make them understand what life really is. And what Ohana is all about. =(

Game Over

Big leap. Huge event. Life's waiting time is over. Reached the limit. No time to grieve. Wounds are healed. Heart's revealed. It seems forever to be in the dark. The sun is out. Light over my head. Smile on the face. Bliss is here. Finally over. All it takes is just a call. Divulge the monstrocity the feelings swathe. Fondness gone, revolting self revealed. Delighted it's over. Moving on.

I remember you

it only takes few things.... one song, a sweet scent of a familiar perfume, a place, a casual mention of the name... to remember someone... to remember you...

Sensitivity

it's that time again to crawl back in the cocoon that wraps me and keeps me away from the outside world where people hurt me. I don't want to live my life getting used to what others want from me. I want to live it the way I wanted it. im always aware of what other may think and what others may feel from all the things i do but none of them do the same thing for me. im that someone who needs care and attention. im that someone who also needs a friend. im that someone who also needs a shoulder to cry on. im that someone who's also human. feels everything that you do. hears everything that you heard. insensitivity is not something you have to be proud of. you've hurt someone and it's just to mend someone's broken heart especially when it's you who have caused it. dont justify something by saying it's who you are. never closes a door when someone offers a help. they never meant to interfere in your life. its simple and its pure offering bec they care about you. dont play with someone when heart's vulnerable. the more you tried to lighten up the conversation the more you press on the wound. be sensitive enough when one's already suffering and make a difference by offering a help but never make fun out of other people's feelings. people who cried in anguish are sensitive and they need someone to be there for them. not someone who'll walk away from them when all they ask is a shoulder to cry on. never think only of what you feel but consider others too. you may not know when you have caused a turmoil and broken somebody's heart.

i know... im being sentimental again... but it's my turf. and it's my right...

The real me

Some people may not comprehend me. Some have troubles getting on my mood. Some chooses to ignore my existence just to save themselves for trying to know the real me. But I don't think Im much of a difficult person to know. Im simple. I like things as simple as Im saying it. Whenever there's something troubling me, I say it out loud as long as I won't hurt anyone. Though there are times that I am hurting them. But few friends know the real me. There are few who refuse anything coming from me when all I wanted was to reach out and give my hand. There are few who took a word I say as a destruction to their sanity. Sometimes, I say things that meant the other way around not what they thought it was. Some just didn't like the way I offer my friendship. There are friends who really considered me as friends but left with no choice but to live their life different from mine. This is what life is all bout for me. The more I reached out for it to blend in with my dumbfounding life, the more it inches away and defy my existence. Ironic isn't it?

Anyway, sometimes talking helps. It's just a matter of knowing the proper use of modulation to get a better result from your audience. Specifically, in a relationship. The thing with relationship, though my knowledge may be little compared to others, even when you feel that your partner hurts you in a way that they don't know, you chooses to keep it to yourself and say nothing until everything piles up and explodes just to save both of you from arguing over something that doesn't really matter. But things are different from mine. As I have said, I am the kind of person that saying out loud what I feel be it positve or not is something that I have lived through. But it seems that no matter how nice I say it, it always gets mistaken for something. No, giving up is not on my list. I always do it although there are instances that I wanted to run away from it. And Im glad last night's was a triumph. I've made it through my target's heart. At least that's what I've seen. And I hope GOD would help me to be more understanding and mature and help me make my partner understand of who I really am and what I really want him to grasp. Im not a complicated person. If you look at me closely, you can see and know the real me. *ako si darna*

KL Trip and being mushy

Just got back from our KL trip and it's a bit tiring but I enjoyed being with my Mom and sister. We spent the whole saturday in KLCC, and although there's no good place to go to, still, it's not enough for us to explore more of KL. But I think my family enjoyed it though there's nothing much for them to see. We took a rest and drifted to sleep and woke up past 6. We weren't able to go to church bec it's already late. So that's it.

Btw, today's mother's day. And Im really glad that Mom's celebrating it with us. There's a flower delivery for her and she doesn't seem to be much of the "appreciative" person. But I dont mind. I know she appreciates it. She just didn't react the way Im expecting her to be. There's nothing much to say about our KL trip because we spent the whole trip shopping hehe. It's good to see my friends, Eian, Edward and Don and their little princess Iyah, who hugs me tightly the moment she sees me. Melts my heart really. *sigh* If not for that tiring 5-hr drive, I'll come by and visit them every weekend.

I miss my good friend Eian too. Especially talking about the good times we had. Those good times when we were still single and foolishly call ourselves as Charlie's Angels. Funny in a way. I miss my friends =( I miss Eian. I miss Annie. I miss Joey. I miss you guys. I may not have the courage to tell them how much I did miss them bec I dont want to sound too mushy, but GOD knows. It's very rare to find friends like them. Everything is fun sharing with them and being with them. Well, things are different now. Joey's in Manila, and I don't know if or when he's gonna come back. Eian's 7 months preggy and 5-hrs away from me. I still have Annie, though. But saddest thing is she'll be leaving for LA in 2 months time. =( And she's preggy
at the moment. People come and go, I know that. But few people have left footprints in my heart. And I'm just happy for them living their life to the fullest with a lot of achievements and blesssings to thank for. In a way, I envied them. The world keeps on revolving around them and mine just stays the way it has been. For another year, I will be doing the same routine. It's not that I dont like it. I just want something to change in my life - in a decent way.

How my day has been

I've been busy the whole day trying to do two projects at the same time. Both have deadlines. Both needs to be done immediately. My mind's been working all day and my capacity's maximum of four hours only! Harhar. I'm jsut really tired. But I really did have a lot of things to do. Considering the STRESS Im having right now. *Sigh* Anyway, I worked till 7pm then went to Kodak center to photocopy kendz's papers. 10 copies of each and Im holding about 10 pcs of papers. It's a lot but I know she really needs it. So I lazily do whatever I need to do. The man behind me was holding a piece of paper so I asked him to go ahead. After I've copied all the copies I need, i proceed to pay the amount. Then the man approaches me and told me im too kind. And he said a lot of nice things about me which I can't remember bec I was too busy thinking of what will I do next. Im too tired but I still managed to smile and nod along with all the things he was saying. He's a kind old man too humble to notice a simple gesture done for him and was nice enough to tell that person. It somehow made my day. Believe me I'm rude when people are getting nasty to me and being inconsedirate at times. But I respect elders and nicer to those who are to me. Maybe this meant to teach me to be more patient to other people. From Kodak, I went to NTUC to buy few things my Mum asks me to. *One of the things I'll miss when she went back to Manila sighhhhh* Then head back home. I feeellll soooo tired.

Converse

Although it's not entirely true, part of it I guess. To be able to get married, it takes two to tango right? And no matter how excited I am to get married if my partner's not, how will that possible? But come to think of it, deep inside me I know that I am just excited with the thought of getting married and not being married. I still have huge responsibilities and I can't take another one if my first is not done yet. Am not blaming him for putting all his obligations on my shoulder, although there are times that I think of the what-if's. Things happen for a reason. And there are reason why Im still single at the age of 28 (going 29 this year!). I'm enjoying my life and whatever it is that comes along my way may it be bad or good, I'll try not to blame it on the strings of my past but accept it as it was how my life was design by GOD.

Stress

Mind's so stressed this morning. My agent just called me and forcing me to decide if i'm going to renew my contract for another year. I really can't decide just like that. I was relying on the 10% we agreed upon before I signed the 2 + 1 contract. No increase for the first 2 years and 10% on the 3rd. The problem is they don't want to give it. I've talked to my boss and he confirmed what my agent told me. Houston, we have a problem. Huge! Arrrggghhhh, it's killing my diminutive brain hehehe. Plus I'm thinking about my CPF contribution for my 2nd year will be 24% of what I earn so this is a tough thing for me to decide. I know that the CPF will also be mine in the end like a force savings and it will be no problem for me if im only thinking of myself. I have family to support to. I can't afford to take any risk just like the previous years of my time. Everytime I need to sign another contract I've been looking outside for another job because I want a new thing in my life. Been bored working for the past four years doing the same work. I want to "upgrade" my skills but it's something that i can't afford to do. I've been praying to GOD to give me guidance and i know when i talked to my agent again *she gave me until 12 before lunch* what I'll decide is what GOD wants me to do. And i know it's the right one. Please enlighten me! =(

False hope

The bliss of a few minutes conversation puts false hopes once again that the acrimony slowly melts down. Anticipation rises up with every sound that aikon makes hoping that it will always be that someone. But that chat only happens when time steals away the tedium and the last resort will always be you. Funny how loathe ends up with hope when few words were spoken and sweet voice were heard. Dont pray for something to happen that could only make you jovial in less than an hour but desire for that bliss to be forever with you. The glee of not waiting in vain for that someone to take notice of your existence and the serenity of being in your own world not depending your happiness to someone who never had the slightest notion of what you're going through. Standing alone, stranded on the same ground.

I Dont Wanna Be Your Friend

Yeah, I've finally let go for the meantime of Kitchie's Same Ground to listen to Nina's Live Album. Now I'm hooked with this song of hers "I DONT WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND". I got this lyrics from my friendster account but have no idea that it was a song. And when I listen to Nina's rendition this morning, i got addicted. I don't know who the original singer is but whoever she or he is, it's a good song and composition. 5 Stars. Thumbs up. Of course you can't be hooked to something if you can't relate to it. I mean, especially in songs, there are songs that they as if speak mostly of what you have been through. Really, the best thing to forget someone who havecaused you pain is to stay away from them for a while until you get over them. I've been there many times before. I can still remember how hard it is. I've been friends to some and acquaintance to most. But none of it was easy to forget. People, they say, come and go in your life. Some leave footprints some just pass by like a wind. Some were unforgotten because of the things that help you remember them or the pain they've caused you.

I don't wanna see your face
I don't wanna hear your name
I don't wanna thing
Just stay away baby
Don't wanna know if you're alright
Or what you're doin' with your life
Don't wanna hear u say that you'll stay in touch baby

I'll get by just fine
And if you're goin' then darlin'
Goodbye, goodbye

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
Don't think that I care
I'm not over you yet
And I don't wanna be your friend

I'll forget we ever met
I'll forget I ever let
Ever let you into this heart of mine baby
You just gotta let me be
You gotta keep away from me
'Cause all I want is just to be free from you baby
Don't you come around
And say you still care about me
Just go now, go now

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
Don't think that I care
I'm not over you yet
And I don't wanna be your friend

You take it casually, and baby it's killing me
I'll get by just fine
So if you're goin' then darlin' goodbye, goodbye

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
No baby
Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
I'm not over you yet
And I don't want to be your friend
I don't want to be your friend

Don't call me
Don't come around
Don't wanna be your friend...

Sunday Blessing

Sunday before lunch, day after my Mom and Sister got here in Singapore, I called home to see how my 2 other kidz are doing.

Me: "Hello?"
Other Line: "Hello?"

It was a man's voice... very familiar....

Me: "Dadi..."
Other Line: "Sino to?"
Me: "Girlie. San mga bata?"
Other Line: "Ay wala si kris teka eto si apple"
Me: "Ano pong ginagawa nyo?"

Yeah, I suddenly remember my "po" as my sign of respect.

Other Line: "Naglalaba"
Me: "Waw magkano bayad sa inyo?" I said, of course joking and fooling around.
Other Line: "Niloloko mo ko ah"
Me: "Ngayon ko nga lang kayo naloko eh"

I hope I have not offended the man. And I hope he was there to "really" look after my 2 younger sisters and not hoping to get something in return. (He promised to come by our house whenever he has time to look after my 2 babies) I know him. I've known him all my life and from this time I have all the reason to doubt him. But still, I wanted to give him a chance. Maybe the time has really come. It's funny how 10 years ago, I was begging and making a deal with GOD that I'll do anything just to make the man go back to us. And I did everything that He desires me to do. I took care of what He asks me to do. And lately I realize, that He did what He had promised me, only to find out that what I wanted then was different from what I want now. But honestly, I always have this longing inside me to have him back again for the sake of having someone to call "Daddy" again. Now that he's here, the bliss and contentment was filled. That there's a man again in our life that we could call "Daddy" again. Some people find it hard to grasp the notion of taking him back again in our home, and I do too honestly, but maybe it's just right if they just feel happy for us. Some things happen the way we dont want them to be. But it's there for a reason. GOD's reasons. We're taking things the way GOD wants us to be. There's no reason for anger to take place at this point in time. It'll just be senseless.

Mom & Kendz in SG (Apr 2005)

DAY ONE
I woke up a little bit early than my usual and I don't know why. The plan of going to 12pm mass was move back to 6pm bec my mom and sister was still sleeping. We took our lunch and head off to ORCHARD ROAD at Hello to get my sim card. We stroll along the Orchard Road, took a bite at MARCHE then went to CHURCH OF THE GOOD SHEPHERD. It was very humid and my mom's not feeling well so we have to head back home. As soon as I got home I scratched off Orchard Road, Marche and Good Shepherd Church from my list of places to go and things to do with my familia. Ciao!

DAY TWO

The word "Familia" will always be included in my blog for a month. Familia = Mom, Sis, Me, Bebikoh.
I feel like walking around naked without my handphone. I just realize how I've depended much on my hp. *sigh* Anyway, I ask Kendi and Mom to meet me at the City Hall MRT Station after office and I was worried that they couldn't find it but they did. Familia (less Bebikoh bec he was still in the office) with cuz aidz went to IKEA then had our dinner at BOAT QUAY. (Btw, got connected to the world again yipeee) We ordered baby kailan, prawn with oats, baby squid and of course CHILLI CRAB which mom likes best inspite of hating it later because of the chilli (after she finishes off her food!). The scrumptious dinner led to a cup of black coffee as soon as we got home. Ciao!

DAY THREE
Am not feeling well today so we just stayed home :(

DAY FOURBeen up all night crying with the usual pain. I really hafta go back to that gyne. I had an appointment a month ago but I thought I was already ok so I cancelled it. (I did not go actually without cancelling it, bad bad bad) And so MC is a must for me again today. Woke up around 11 cuz I can't waste a good day sleeping especially with mom and sis around. (Though it feelllsssss really good to be pampered by your mom again hehe) By three in the afternoon, we went to see a doctor to get my MC. Met cuz jun then went to CHINATOWN. I took one tablet coz I dont wanna ruin the rest of the day. Bought my mom and aunt a ring and a few pasalubongs. *katsing* Went back to Orchard to HMV Heeren to have me and mom's ears pierced and my sister's nose pierced. I was thinking of having it too but when I saw her almost cried in pain I backed out. Hehe. Im a coward! Sissy little me. Anyway, we stopped by at Burger King to have a few bites then went to SUNTEC CITY to meet Bebikoh. While waiting for him kendz and me print out a few shots from my phone at the Kodak kiosk. [picture] Had our dinner at CRYSTAL JADE then cup of coffee at home and after Amazing Race (Ron & Kelly was lucky its was a non-elimination round, whew close call and what's more they won a 20 grand worth of travel from travelocity... how some people lucky can get when they were at a close call of getting a bad luck) we went to INSOMNIA. We stayed till the end of the 2nd set of the band and I had introduced Mike and Malou to mom and sis. I hope they enjoyed the night. And I hope they're enjoying their stay here.

DAY FIVE
After office, we went to Lucky Plaza. We bought few keychains for pasalubong and had our merienda at GP. Then stroll along Orchard Road while waiting for bebikoh. Mom and sis said they're getting tired of going out hehehe and so we decided that by next week we'll just stay at home and cook which is very very fine by me hahaha. Anyway, we'll go out on weekends so they will still get to visit the places I've listed down. Ciao!!

DAY SIX
Mom and Sis just stayed home because we had a Bowling Tournament in the office. My score sucks hehehe

DAY SEVEN

By 3pm we reached the top of Mt Faber and purchased a ticket for the Cable Car ride to Sentosa. It was fun, really, seeing how my Mom enjoy her first ride to something that scares her at first (i dreaded heights too hehe) nevermind my sister who doesn't seem to much of an appreciative person hehehe. We took a bus ride, since the Monorail is under renovation, to the Underwater world and bought 4 tickets. We watched the Dolphin show first which Mom appreciates very much. She's like a kid who's very easy to please with about anything. And how I love my Mom every single day she's here. After Underwater world, we took a bite at Burger King, my mom's fave, then watched the Musical fountain's last show. It was very tiring. But the soreness of my feet and the aching of every single bone in my body fades away in an instant seeing how my mom enjoys everything. And I always thank GOD for these things, these blessings that me and my family were having.

DAY EIGHT
Today's agenda - Singapore Zoological Garden. I purchased the "Park Hoppers" ticket for $30 including the entrance fee to all 3 - Singapore Zoo, Night Safari and Jurong Bird Park. At the middle of our "journey", had merienda at KFC then took a tram ride back at the entrance because it was raining. After the Zoo, we waited until 7pm for the night safari. So we had a congee and a wanton soup which my Mom and sister enjoyed then head off to Plaza Singapura (Carrefour) to buy few things we need. By 11 were finally home. After eating (again), which I think will continue for the next 3 weeks *arrrggghhhhh Im gaining weight already!!!*, took a rest then shower. Sleeping time!!!! *whew finally... my bed ahhhh... i never notice how good my bed and pillow feels hehe*

DAY NINE
The plan going to Jurong Bird Park was moved to 14th of May. I've managed to extend my Mom's stay here for another week yippeeee!!! I hope my sister can find a job here. We stroll around Orchard mostly at Takashimaya. Bought a few things *katsing* hehehe. We all had CHICKEN RICE for dinner at Takashimaya's basement. Walk, walk walk. Im tired haayyyy. By 10pm we're home. It's already 1 in the morning and I haven't showered yet. I don't want any eyebags arrrrgghhhhh.

DAY TEN
Just stayed home... I feeeelllll sooo tireddd...... =(

DAY ELEVEN
Watched "Kingdom of Heaven" at Plaza Singapura then had dinner at Kopitiam. And it's already 2 in the morning and Im still up - blogging. Am hooked and getting addicted by it. Hafta take shower and then rest. Night!

Same Ground

My sister brought me CD's of Kitchie Nadal and Nina - Live! Im listening to Kitchie's at the moment. And I've been playing the "SAME GROUND" since this morning. Soothing to the ears. I like it. No. I LOVE it!!! Tell you more about the others when I decide to stop listening to Kitchie's Same Ground. =) Ciao!

[verse:]
My love,
Its been a long time since I cried
And left you out of the blue.
Its hard
Leaving you that way when
I never wanted to.
Self-denial is a game
Its strange I never would've
Wanted 'till there was you.

**'cause I have learned that love is beyond
What human can imagine,
More it clears the more I have to let you go.

[chorus:]
But now I don't understand why I'm feeling
So bad now when I know it was my idea.
I could've just denied the truth and lied.
But why am I the only one standing stranded
On the same ground?

[repeat verse except **]

'cause I have learned that love is a
Word gets thrown a little bit too much.
The best excuse to fill the infinite abyss
I would never ever have to if

[repeat chorus]

When else fail,
Would you be there to love me?
When all else fail,
Would you be brave
To see right through me?

Melancholy

the melancholy slowly rips her heart to bits. she tried to converse as she passes by like a gentle breeze. with each new day she tried to keep up, but the world is busy to listen to her grieve. she tried to stop someone but she ended up listening. she loves to listen but her heart is full. and so she travelled along with the wind. to where she will go, she didnt know.

Torn

How would u help someone close to you who was suffering emotionally? How would you let them know it'll be ok in the end? Of course they very damn well know that everything happens for a reason. Pain is different when you're the one feeling it. You can say you're strong to anything that comes along your way but it's really far from what you've been into and what you've imagine it to be. You can only imagine what it's like to feel the pain but you can never really feel the pain.

I've been there, of course. Many times. But none of it makes me ready for anything that had happened to me. Each anguish is different from the other. Each has a different level. Each makes me cry, makes me feel like it's the end of the world for me, makes me feel like im nobody. Each breaks my heart and after all these years, still brings sadness everytime I remember it even if I've found a way to overcome it. You see, none of the quotes or advices or words of wisdom could make you feel better in a snap of a finger. It's a long process of healing but it'll heal in time. The important thing is how we managed to get up. Let's not let it be the reason for us to give up something so wonderful that GOD had given us - to love. Yes, most of the times we crave for something we can't have or we fall for someone who's not meant for us or the good things in life that we have suddenly be the reason of our pain. We love not because we have to. We feel it. And for once, I never regret knowing and loving a few, than never had the chance to love.

I can't tell you how I felt the pain you're feeling. I can't tell you how it's going to be ok or everything happens for a reason. I can't tell you any better words than that. But I'll be here. To listen. To cry with you. To let you know that there are people who cares about you. It's a lot of shoulders for you to cry on. All you need to do is choose. =)

Take your time to grieve, kiddo.

Tagalog

*expressing gibberish sentiments is more vivid writing it in Tagalog, which by the way is my native dialect, than writing it in english. =)*

Trabaho. Daldalan sa jologz rum. Alt-tab. Dalawang bagay na mahirap pilit pinagsasabay habang tenga'y sinaksakan ng irpown ng mga kantang hindi mo malaman kung saan nanggaling. Ilang segundo mo pa lang papatugtugin, kahit nanalo ka pa ng swipstek, hihigupin nitong parang yakult ang kaligayahan mo kung meron man. Naranasan mo na ba yon? Yung minsan kahit wala kang problema bigla ka malulungkot dahil lang sa isang kantang napakinggan mo sa player mo o sa dyip o sa kung saan pa man? Lintek na kantang to, ala naman akong problema sa buhay (meron pala pero d ganon kalaki para humagulgol ako noh) pero parang ang bigat bigat sa kalooban. Sa isang araw na nakadiket pwetan ko s kinauupuan ko, ilang oras din yun, mga sandaang beses ko ata patugtugin mga kantang makabagbag damdamin. Teka ha iisa isahin ko. Think of Laura ni Kenny Loggins, Wag na Wag mong sasabihin ni Kitchie Nadal, Afraid for Love ni Lea Salonga, What Matters Most ni Kenny Rankin, saka Until I find you again ni Richard Marx. Sa loob ng 3 araw yan lang laman ng player ko. Wala ni isa mang nakakarelate sa buhay ko sa mga kantang yan sa ngayon, noon cguro pede pa. Ewan ko ba trip lang siguro? Siyeetttttt, kakaaning to pahreh. Mahilig naman ako sa alternatib myusik pero sadyang may mga panahon ata na sentimental ka lang. Sows. Think of Laura? Halllerrrr?!?!? Pampatay kaya yun! Kung ako buntis baka ginamit na ng anak kong lubed yung ambilical cord nya. Yun lang. *Bow*. Haayyy, cge makikinig pa ko. Ciao...

Budget Airlines

I can't hide the anticipation of spending longer than the usual 1 week with my family. Thanks to budget airlines like Tiger Airways , though I haven't heard any feedback of how convenient and comfortable it is, but still spending almost half of the usual fare is a big savings. 9 days to go!!! Yeyyyyy...

Jologz Rum

All the stuff that I do five times a week are boring, routine way of my survival in Singapore. Though, I must say that I have lived my life in a way that I aspire it to be, still, doing those things for the past five years of my life, doing the same work everyday bores me sometimes. And I must say that the "rum" have been a big help to spice up a bit our boring days at work. Here, we can be serious or be nasty or just talk about happy times. It had helped me to know my colleagues fully and considered them now as my very good friends. Some were married, some were single. Talking about life, about anything under the sun. I have learned a lot. Topics like laf, kras, being married, having a bebi, things that matter to us when we were still kidz, tsisi moments, anything! Words like "ayan", "etong tanong", "tenchu", "npbia", "wakana", "orayt", "gga", "haylafyu", "kaofens" and a lot more. It's like we've created our own lingo of some sort that only the "privileged members" can understand. Well, I can't imagine my life without these people who have somehow touched my life and had made a difference to some of my outlook in life. They have helped me boost my confidence, turn my "bad hair days" into a smooth one, they had helped me value even more the good things in front of me, they talked to me when stress is pinning me down, though sometimes, i admit that there are jokes that offends me, but most of it brought a smile to my face. =) Friendz are one of the valuable things in life that we can't afford to miss or lose. And Im glad I have them. Haylafyu@all.

The Emancipation of Mimi

Emancipation - liberation; setting free; release;

Finally!!! I have now a copy of Mariah Carey's new album. I bought it at HMV. Guilt-free. Spending 22 bucks is nothing compared to the bliss that I felt just listening to her music. But I thought she looks like Christina Aguillera on the cover. No doubt she had release the sexiness in her. She's a goddess! Oh well, I love Mariah. Not everyone loves her, though. I remember the first time I fell in love with her. I was watching MTV and then they show this video of her singing "HERO", wearing black pants with her usual big hair but verrrrryyyyy sexy. That's the first time I heard that song, first time I saw her on TV, first time I knew there's a good singer named Mariah Carey. Sigh. I just adore her. Anyway, here are some of the songs that I like: It's Like That, We belong together, Get your number (i thought she's singing it with Nelly coz it soundz like one of Nelly's songs), To the floor (now with Nelly), Circles (very mariah), I wish you knew. So, go and get your own copies now. Ciao!

She's suppose to have a concert in Singapore back in May 2004 and I'm all set to seeing her and hearing her voice in person but to my dismay, it was cancelled dues to SARS. I was devastated. I hope anytime this year she'll have a concert here in Singapore because whatever it takes I'll buy a front seat ticket!