Be brave little one

It’s been a tough week for her and though I’ve tried to think of the best words that could ease at least a bit of what’s on her shoulders, there’s none but be there for her and listen. Today, in between those sobs, I listened wordlessly, unable to say any reassuring words, and just cried as soon as I put down my phone after that call from her. It’s not a tears of pity nor of hatred to somebody but of uncertainty as to why life was never fair for any of us. It’s iniquitous to let someone who’s famished to see a bag of chips and not let that person have a taste of it. I know that GOD has His own reasons why things like these happen. But I can’t help but question the inexplicable verity of life. Why do we always have to come across a few good things in life that even if we worked hard to get it, it still remain distant and left us in pain and into wondering where will this leads us? Am I right to think that there’s no such thing as utterly bliss? I have walked a thousand miles, scarred, obtain few good reasons to be very happy only to find the equal significant ones to lose their way and out of my hands? I guess she had the wrong choice of friend in me. Because I am not brave and I do not have that “gift” to ebb her pain. I know it’s unbearable and hard and tears won’t stop from falling because it’s all part of it. I can’t tell her it’s ok and to stop worrying because I know it’s not and it won’t go away that easily. So I guess that leaves me worthless??? Ugh, I hate this word.

“Lean on me, not because I’m strong but because GOD is pushing me to stand tall for you." - Inah.Ynna(f)

Mission Accomplished!

Today is a no-work day but we didn't let this day go to waste by just lying around our cribs. We meet up the pasaway kidz at quarter to 2 and went to Toa Payoh Safra to try climbing the wall. Oh yes, you heard it right. WALL CLIMBING! I've been longing to do this for ages, so forgive me if I'll talked about it like it's a big achievement for me hehe.

Anyway, we meet up with the instructor, DIN, and went directly to the customer service to pay for the fee. Since it was raining, and obviously we can't used the outdoor climbing, we were ushered inside the gym to use the indoor climbing. The gym in toa payoh safra wowed me. It was huge with complete fitness equipment and a jacuzzi inside the loo! Or maybe I just got used to see the small, cramped, smelly sight of our gym in HDB, hihihi. But if you gonna ask for my opinion, signing up for membership like this is far better than signing up for a membership with famous fitness centres. Ok, im getting off the tracks. By 3pm, we started by DIN teaching us few tips in climbing and taught us how to secure our harness. Then it's show time! Boss started it and looking at him doing it, the girls got pretty nervous. Hello, we can see the effort! I almost backed up! When it's my turn, DIN clipped the safety rope and attached to my harness. As I started climbing, I found the foot holds and hand grips easy to use, but as I got higher, I found it hard to think where to put my feet on and luckily, DIN patiently assist me on this very first experience of working my ass up to reach the top. Believe me it's not a joke but it surely is a wonderful experience. And those times that we have worked hard going to the gym three times, at least, in a week, wasn't enough. It was a hard work grabbing those hand grips. Oh, by the way, for those 3 attempts, none of us had made it to the top. It was hard! And it's a bit frustrating not to reach the eight square when you have already made it to the seventh. Funny how we feel like the clock is ticking very slowly or we're all just too tired to try it again after three attempts. DIN asked us to try the outdoor since the rain just stopped. And as obedient as a kindergarten, we followed him through the muds. After setting up the clip that will hold the rope, I get to be the one to try it first. It was a bit easier than the one inside because the hand grips and foot holds are easier to grab. Although it's a bit slippery, I, aherm, managed to make it to the top. And yes, I am bragging, hehehe. Because after all those years that I've waited to do this, I really felt a great sense of achievement reaching the top of the wall. It was one hell of an experience! Although most of us are doing climbing for the first time, I could say that all did well, very well in fact. Thanks to our very kind instructor who was patient enough to assist 9 "pasaway" kidz. Thank you Din!

After the tiring activity, we head to Gluttons Bay - the place that's becoming our favorite, and replenish the energy we lost from impersonating the famous Mr Spidey Spiderman. A day's full of fun! Im hoping there will be next time! Yippeeeeeee.

We missed the rest of the pazawayz, Inay and Itay who's very excited preparing for their honeymoon getaway hihihi, Fenk who's enjoying now with her family, Yao who's busy *always* working, Nonoy who's I dunno doesn't want spend fun times with us hehehe, Jack who's uhhhmmmm he's actually not there most of the time hehehe, and G who made it to the glutton's bay... well, after we've consumed most of the food.

Friendster

I was browsing my friendster account the other night hoping i'll get a reply from Quincy (waaaaaaa dvd's ko huhuhu), and I saw my list of friends with the updated profile and saw my bunso's account. So I went through it, and wonder how time pass by so fast that i didn't realize (or i just dont want to accept) how grown up she is even if I've seen her in her debutant gown, 'coz for me she's still my baby. She got tons of pictures of her friends and us *yey andun ako*, pure bliss painted on her sweet angelic face, i silently utter a prayer to God to make her strong and not just her but apple and kendz too, to make them realize the value and sweetness of life's beauty. I hope they won't endure any more pain though I know it's not possible. She had grown up, they all grown up, without me beside them. It's saddens me knowing their friends knows so much about them than me, their own ate. I don't even know what they like now. All that memories I have now about them, i think they have outgrown most of it. Maybe that's the main reason why I still think of them not as a grown up ladies but as little kids. My mind was stuck to tweety, hello kitty and tazmanian devil as their favorites. I still thought that Jollibee tsiken joy can make them ecstatic. There are a lot of things that Ive missed, that I never had the chance to witnessed, that makes me think how far i've been to reach out to them, and sometimes it scares me. I can't make up for those times that was lost. I can't bring back those days when they needed someone to listen to them and celebrate with them during those happy times. Though, I never regret any of me being away from them, i can't say that things like these never occurs my mind. It does, it always do, it's just that "choice" has never been on my side. Thanks to Friendster for I still get a glimpse of what my kidz have become.

Home

he was once lost, unable to find the way
stumble upon a place, baffled, he dwells

life was a moment bliss, utterly inexplicable
through its perplexities, he tried to grasp
accepting amiss, defying the intricacy it convey

but amidst of it all, he resolutes to cease
heart is aching, there is no forever
impaired and shabby, he rise and stride

unleashing its exquisiteness, he grieves
but now without complexities, he's finally home...

Just a thought

I believe that each individual has their own way of solving their plight. Being tough and learning not to be feeble is something that you can not learn even from the best school in the world. It is one of the cynicism of life. There may be times in your life that you will be weak and won't be able to contain yourself from yielding in to some things that were categorized as a wrong doing, but God will always find a way to pick you up and tell you that it's gonna be alright. But you have to realize when it's really time for you to be brave enough to let go of things that you don't want to let go of and worry about the "healing time" afterwards. It's not easy and it will never be. But all wounds heal in time. I may have heard the same old story, I may have step on it sometime in my life, but the way each person fought for it is always different from the other. But I always believe that in every predicament there will always be a lesson learned and that God never fails to alleviate the "heavy loads" you are carrying on your shoulder.

Hour Game

I bought this book accidentally when we were strolling at the carrefour and fortunately they were having a $5 book sale that time. There's not much of titles to check out but since it was Baldacci's, it caught my attention and so I bought it. Now I'm hooked with it and just thought of "googling" the story and found out that it happened in the 60's. About the Zodiac Killer, I mean. Although I haven't finished the book yet, *hehe*, it's what a reader could ask for in a mystery/suspense thriller novel. Maybe I'll try finishing it up so I could really tell if it's worth it. =)

Back Again!

Ok, guilty! Been in and out of blogging world since i don't know know when for some reasons. First, pc games! Im addicted, im hooked, im drawn to it. Second, just started my program *thanks ulrik*, and I've been regularly going to the gym for 3 weeks! Third, Badminton. I just feel like there's too much going on so I cant find the time to even write a short hello to the bloggin world. You'll forgive me, right?

Anyway, ffg's BIL, will be staying with us until June, *i think*. My cousin's hubby is going back to Manila for good =( *sniff, la na ko kuya dito*, my bebi apple got a job, my family's doing well, my relationship's doing ok after a big storm, my work's doing well - been trying to upgrade my skills *thanks bossing* and it'll be ending on September, my friend pagong got something going on with her and Im very happy for her, envy of course but very much happy for you hehehe, Eian and Edward along with the kidz will be moving back to singapore yipeee, talked to Annie and she seems doing fine *mishu mars*, don't know anything about Joey hehehe, watched Fort Minor concert few months ago, hmmm what else, Oh these are the good things that's happening to me right now, and the not so good things list is very long so I thought of not writing it here. I always thank GOD for all the things and blessings Ive had and I'll always will.

So for now, that's all folks! 'Till next and promise that next time won't be as long as ive been idle before... i hope.

One of those days

how do u get over of something that depresses you?
you talked about your feelings, they give you advise
but does it make any difference or was it the same thing?

is happiness only over rated?
do u have to feel the pain to have a taste of glee?
can't we just live life full of euphoria?

only you can make your life easier without any complications
only you can lighten up the burden you're carrying on ur back
do you reckon the things that could really let you feel the bliss?

you divulge it to people, you write to your blog
did it solve any of it, or did you just whisper to the wind?

Back again!

I have been idle for God knows how long. I've been busy. I have walked in an emotional tunnel but no worries, just like the past years of my life, I have walked out of it, undamaged... i hope. I have been busy at work, for the first time. A week's overtime is a first for me. Idiocy devours my sanity again. For the second time i lost my handphone and i think stupidity is a very kind word for it. But I managed to have a new phone that I really like, thanks to my angel. My sister got a job. My bunso got a part time job. My mom worries about me. I got friends who sometimes make my life miserable but all the time making it wonderful. Thousand blessings to thank God and a few things to lament. Still, I am so grateful for the way my book of life is written. There may be hundred things that I want to have in my hands now, but I know it's not yet the right time. I have to believe that one's happiness lies not in the completeness of the things we wanted but in the contentment with the things we have now. Life's miserable if we aim for the things we know we can't have at the moment. I hope I could live my life with this saying. =) 'Till next... I'm finally back!

Abril

abril na.
panibagong buwan.
panibagong pahina na naman ng kalendaryong pipilasin ko.
narito pa rin ako.
nagiintay.
umaasang nawa'y mapansin mo sa kahit anong paraan.
lahat ng ingay ginawa ko na, narinig mo ba ako?
ikaw lang ang iniintay ko.
marami mang dumating, ikaw pa rin ang iintayin ko.
... dumating man ang disyembre, ikaw at ikaw pa rin.

rant

how long will you let fear control your sanity and trashed the unprejudiced personality in you?

do u always wish for things to be running the way it has been until you meet the end?

never let someone feel bad about something bec u never know how hard it is for them to keep that smile while hurting.

Thanks

I appreciate the kindness and concern... very much. God knows how glad I am for people like you. But I believe in the saying "Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over." Friends don't need to talk about what's in the past. There are things that can be easily forgotten and go back to the things they used to be, but there are things that's said and done and cannot undo just like that. Some things happen without us realizing that we tend to hurt the people we care about without any intention. I may have hurt few people but i have my own reasons and I expect you to respect that as I am respecting your reasons for hurting me.

Rumour has it

"I didn't come here to tell you I can't live without you. I can live without you. I just don't want to." - Sarah Huttinger (Rumour Has It)

Let's do our part

"An entire barangay (village) was literally wiped out last Friday, 17 February 2006, when a mudslide buried Guinsaugon, one of 30 barangays in St. Bernard town, Southern Leyte. Close to 2,000 people were estimated to have been buried in an instant."

*A demise that once again breaks the hearts of many people especially mine. I didn't post much of it for no reason. There's not much we can do but to pray and help by donating few cents from our pocket that could be a big help to those in need so here's few ways to help. Leyte Blogspot

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Message from the Phil Embassy in Singapore
To all Filcom Leaders/ Organizations:
Re: 22 Feb 06 email on donation for landslide victims, kindly note that donations may be made directly to the following Philippine agencies:

I. Philippine National Red Cross (PNRC) at the following bank account numbers:
Peso Account
Bank : MetroBank, Port Area Branch
Account : Philippine National Red Cross
Account No. : SA-3-041-63122-8

Bank : Bank of the Philippine Islands, UN Avenue Branch
Account : Philippine National Red Cross
Account No. : SA-8114 ? 0308 - 4

Bank : MetroBank, Port Area Branch
Account : PNRC ? Southern Leyte Relief Operations
Account No. : SA- 151-3-15151391-4

Dollar Account
Bank : MetroBank, Port Area Branch
Account : Philippine National Red Cross
Account No. : SA-2-151-00218-2
Swift Code : MBTC PHMM

Contact Person : Mr. Victor A. Liozo, Jr.
Secretary General, PNRC
Tel: (632)524-5787/Fax: 527-5981/
Telefax: 527-0857

Ms. Gwendolyn Pang
Director of Fund Generation
Mobile No: +63-917827-7421
Email: gwenpang@redcross.org.ph (24 hrs)

II. Department of Social Welfare and Development
Disaster Response Operation Monitoring & Information Center, (DROMIC), Batasan Pambansa Complex, Constitution Hills, Quezon City, Philippines.

Bank : Landbank of the Philippines,
Batasan Branch
Account Name : DSWD Donation
Account No. : 3122-1011-84
Contact Person : Ms. Vilma Cabrera, Director IV, Program Mgt. Bureau
DSWD (Tel : 632-9319147/Fax : 632-951-2801)


III. Department of Health
(donation of medicines)

Contact Person : Dr. Carmencita Banatin
Director III, Health Management Staff Department of Health
Attn: Ms. Merlina Villamin, Logistics Officer
Tel : (632) 929-6923
Telefax : (632) 929-6867/929-6827


Those who wish to donate items indicated in the "Wish List", you may drop them at :
1) Filipino Association of Singapore (FAS)
C/o Afreight Cargo
Unit 03-19 Lucky Plaza (Orchard Road)

2) Prudential Life Plans, Inc.
#03-01A Lucky Plaza (Orchard Road)

3) Philippine Embassy
20 Nassim Road

Deadline for dropping of items at the Embassy and at Lucky Plaza is on April 9, 2006.

We would appreciate if you could inform your members and friends on this update.

Thank you.

-----------------------------------------

Hello Again

unexpectedly u see someone u once knew
time stopped, contemplating what u feel
was it bliss? was it pain?
or was it something of mixed emotions?
that moment u wanted to say hi
but something held u, decided not to
abruptly u were brought back to the past
and everything that u tried to disregard
all came apparently and vividly
and so u asked urself only one question
why do i have to run into you?


"There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some love that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity. Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever." - Ally McBeal

Leyte Landslide

Tragedy strikes disaster-prone Leyte island again

SOME of the Philippines' worst disasters -- and one of the country's biggest moments in history -- have involved Leyte, one of the largest of the archipelago's 7,100 islands.

Hundreds may have been killed when a landslide Friday buried an entire farming village in thick mud and house-sized boulders.

Leyte etched its place in history after it was chosen by General Douglas MacArthur as the beachhead for his return to the Philippines, a former US colony, to liberate the country from Japanese troops in 1944.

The famous October 20, 1944, Leyte landing by MacArthur fulfilled his "I shall return" promise to the Philippines, and preceded the October 22-27 Battle of Leyte Gulf that involved more than 730 ships in one of history's largest naval battles.

Leyte's most famous daughter, former first lady Imelda Marcos, said she entertained MacArthur and liberation troops by singing for them.

More recently, the island has been linked to disasters, both natural and manmade.

In December 1987, the ferry MV Dona Paz -- carrying passengers from Leyte and nearby Samar island to Manila -- sank after colliding with a fuel tanker in the central Philippines, killing 4,340 people. It was considered the worst peacetime shipping disaster.

In October the following year, the Paz's sister ship, Dona Marilyn, which was sailing from Manila to Leyte, sank during a typhoon, killing about 250 people.

Tragedy struck the island again in November 1991 when a flash flood swept down from the hills into Ormoc city on the western side of Leyte, killing about 6,000 people. A landslide in San Francisco, in southern Leyte province in December 2003, killed 133 people.

The island, about 560 kilometers (350 miles) southeast of Manila, is in the path of most of the typhoons that sweep from the Southern Pacific to the Philippines, and its southern portion experiences rainfall most of the year.

Name Game

Saw this from one of the random blogs i've been reading tonight. So I thought, why not? :)

FAYE
Your name of Faye has created a practical, responsible, stable nature, and you desire to direct the efforts of others rather than to take order or ask permission. You have a determined, self-reliant, capable nature and resent any interference, although in your desire to help you are inclined to become involved in the lives and decisions of other people. You like to make your own decisions and to be the master of your domain. You feel a limitation in your own expression when it is necessary to reach another through tact and understanding.

Although the name Faye creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it causes a blunt expression that alienates others. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses through worry, mental tension, and tension or accidents to the head.

Testi

Have anyone ever said the nicest thing to you? After my uber drama "wadaydu" article last night, i logged on to my friendster account and saw that i have a pending testimonial. While going through it, I utter a simple thanks to God for showing me that I still have friends. =) Thanks bebit. You just don't know how this thing had helped me, to think that this message was sent 4 days ago. Labsyu! =)

"a girl hu transformed from girlie to nene to hani(?!?) wadahel! nyahaha! during our 1st encounter *prang masagwa* i was kinda aloof of her. she strikes as a high-class sophisticated bitz (naks!) but as d tide moved on, we shared a friendship dat rily touches my heart, soul and spirit *syet san b papunta to..di ako lesbo framis!* i can prove dat she rily treasures friends as if dey are rily part of her system. just dont mess with her, ul c d haunted enormous bitz in her! she's a cool gal, likes to hang out *ICB woohoo!!!* and sudoku adik lately hehe! d chatroom is dull w/o her.. *kahit cno kinukulit!*... hani, it's been tough i know, but rmber dat we're walking besides u *topa topa barega na to!* i'm so hapi about 'd stone' but life has twist n turns dat we jst hav 2 deal with..so be strong. let's doh it! hehe! cheers! aylafyu! mwah! :)"

Life is...

"Life is about letting go not holding on. Life is about three things. 1. if you have loved deeply, 2. if you have lived fully and lastly, 3. if you have let go of the things or people you care about." Inspirational words shared by the priest during the mass. I thought of sharing it to all of you too. Help me to offer a prayer for the people who passed away in the Wowowee Stampede. May God help the families of those people to be strong.

Wawawi Stampede

The stampede news saddened me. Every filipino mourns. My deepest sympathy to the family of those who have died in the stampede. A prayer is the only thing I can do to offer as of this moment. This is not the time to put the blame on anybody but to focus on the things that need to be done. =(

TV network cancels anniversary celebration of noontime show
First posted 12:26pm (Mla time) Feb 04, 2006
INQ7.net, Agence France-Presse

(UPDATE) ABS-CBN Network has cancelled the first anniversary celebration of its noontime show after over 70 people were killed and scores were injured in a stampede at the stadium where the program was to be held.

Charo Santos-Concio, a top executive of the television station, and "Wowowee" host Willie Revillame made the announcement in a brief telecast of the program, hours after the tragedy at the Philsports arena, previously known as ULTRA, in Pasig City early Saturday.

Revillame made a brief appearance inside the stadium, where thousands of people were already gathered, to apologize for the accident and condole with the families of the victims.

Revillame was in tears as he appealed to the audience to understand the decision by the station to postpone the celebration.

Earlier on Saturday, Revillame said he wanted the show to go on.

Thousands of people from poor communities had been lining up to get a seat inside the Ultra Stadium in eastern Manila for the noontime show when the stampede occurred at dawn.

The show offers a one million-peso top prize, attracting people from poor areas of Manila and far-flung provincial areas.

Hours later, thousands of surviving fans were still queuing for the show, despite the deadly stampede, waiting to enter the stadium.

"We only wanted to make these people happy and to help the poor," Revillame said, breaking down during an interview aired by the station immediately after the tragedy.

"I want the show to go on. I can't stop this. The people have suffered enough." He also appealed to fans who were still at home to refrain from going to the stadium.

He said Saturday's show would mark the first anniversary of the program, and that the show was offering two top prizes of one million pesos each -- a fortune to the 40 percent of Filipinos who live on two dollars a day or less.

Revillame said the station was used to having up to 5,000 people line up outside the studio gates on the nights before the weekend program, but that it had never before hosted the show at the Ultra stadium.

"Some would come from far-flung places, groups of families who would hire one mini-bus and agree to split the prize if one of them won," he added.

Revillame said he had made it a point to stage the game shows at other provincial centers several times during the past year. "We would pick places where the poor are hard-up," he added.

"This is a program that intends to help Filipinos, especially the poor," he said.

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74 people died, mostly were elderly women
nearly 400 injured

Other Related News:
Reuters
Taipei Times
Indian Express