A Sad Goodbye

today is the day that you'll say goodbye. im so sorry that i can't be there to even see your beauty for the last time. now, there'll be no more "next time, i'll visit her" or any planning of some sort for me. is it our fault that we never make a way to see or visit you? but i know you'll understand. not that we don't want to see you, we regret that. we just thought that it's best to keep the shield around us so we won't be reminded of the pain of the past. i know you'll be happy now where you'll be going. bye 'la. totoo pala. those who've caused you pain were the ones that's so hard to let go of. maybe this sadness that i feel isn't just because you're gone. maybe this is because i was hoping somehow that before you go, someone will take the responsibility of saying sorry. maybe this is because i know that he's all alone now and no one will accept whatever things he do but you. maybe this is because i'll miss whatever memories you installed *atleast in me*.

i like to be nostalgic at times. reminisce the memories - the good ones - that is. reminds me of the things that makes me look forward to something even at a young mind. like the weekly visit to your house that daddy and i did back then. growing up in a very small lair, and almost everyday of nothing grand to eat, with a one peso in my pocket as my biggest treasure, going to your place is really one of the best ones that i always look forward too. you have the grandest house in mayon, with a garden and numbers of beautiful dogs. your air conditioned room with lolo's picture hanging on the wall. with beautiful headboard and martha-stewart-like pillows and bedsheet. of course, your kitchen that never runs out of anything to eat. and not just anything but those you only find in the rich people's kitchen. fruits at the dinner table. box of goldilocks cake that i only had a slice whenever there's a really special occassion. chocolates. juice. lechon. and whenever we visit you there, you always go out of your room and head to the kitchen to prepare these grand foods for us. i remember the time i kept a few chocolates in my pocket just to give it to my mom. you have this chair that's only meant for u, placed at the corner of the dinner table near the window where you can see your garden. and when it's time for us to go home, you always give me money even if it's only enough for me to buy candy for all my kalaro, aside from the food and supot ng makopa that daddy picked for me from your tree. i always keep a big one peso coin and give it to you in exchange of five pesos. whenever you have to go to albularyo's and daddy and i go with you, we don't eat at just any place. we always eat at aristocrat or maxs. and whenever you walk out of the house, you're always at your best. always wearing the shade of brown dress. the way you plant your kiss on my cheeks is something that reminds me of you. all my memries of you that i kept in my heart were those that made me smile and somehow make myself believe that i am really your apo. and whatever happens in the past years, i threw some of them. it's like now that you're gone, i felt like reminiscing what just happen months ago not decades ago. and i prefer it this way. i cried so much when i heard from mom that you're gone maybe because i've nurtured that memory inside me for a long time. you see, it's not just a memory with you in there, but memory filled of times that im bonding with daddy. it's one of the best times of my life :)

paalam 'la. i know you're happy where you are now.

Sad Moment :(

I received an SMS from my MOM asking me to call them and saying that my Dad's at home and that my Lola passed away. When I called them I was frantically crying and I can't help it. :( Every memory I had with her seem to came back in an instant and it's just so painful to know that it's been a very very long time since I last seen her, since my parents separated, we stopped seeing her too. This is the part where I really hate myself being away from home. Receiving bad news like this. First, it was my Inang then now my Lola. I know they're already old and maybe it's really time to end their suffering. I just feel really sad being away from them. Not seeing them at the last moment. It's too painful for me to bear :( May GOD take care of her.

Lola,
Im sorry that I may not be able to go to your funeral. I know you'll understand. This is really hard for me. To know that you're already gone and I can't do anything about it. I thought you'll still going to make it to my wedding. I thought you'll still see your first apo get married. You haven't even met Rommel. It's too painful for me to bear it now. When was the last time I see you? Back when you were still in Kanlaon? Yes, that time when my parents were still on the verge of separating. You were bed-ridden already that time. But you still manage to plant me that famous kiss of yours on me. You know the way you hold my face smelling my cheeks first before kissing me? I've got lots of memories that up to now I can still remember because they connect me to you and to my dad. It's funny because I just had a thought of you just last week because I was reading this novel about a grandmother and her apo and they were really close to each other. I lost my Inang a year ago. And now you. Just few months before my wedding. :( But Im sure you're happy now that you'll see Lolo again. I don't want to see you suffering from whatever sickness. It's just sad that I wasn't able to see you or say goodbye. I love you, 'la. Take care. Come at my wedding on september. If you see Inang, ask her to go with you too.
Love,
Me

Sam's Letter to Jennifer

My fondness of reading usually lies on the authors that hit the "best seller" portion of the bookstores but mostly i always read the novels of those i have a good first impression on. I got 5 or more novels from David Baldacci and James Patterson, my John Grisham's novels are complete, i got all of Mitch Albom's books. Ive few books of the same author and Im just saying that it's how my reading personality is. Although, it's not sensible to read a novel from the same author over and over again, you'll find it addicting to read one after another of the same author. It's like reading someone else's diary. Like for instance John Grisham who's well known for his courtroom drama stories, or Nicholas Sparks for his emotional love stories and a lot more. You'll get bored eventually because no matter how different their stories are, they always end up having the same plot. But it's normal. Because if you're an author you have to stick to a certain identity so readers will know you for what you write.

One of my favorite authors is James Patterson who's well known for his murder mysteries novels. I grab a copy of "Sam's letters to Jennifer" just because James Patterson wrote it not because of the summary of the story. And yes, im that fanatic. After reading it, I was totally amazed that he really can write love stories. Galing!

The book was about Jennifer who writes a column in a newspaper. Lost her husband, had miscarriage, and now that her grandma Sam is sick, she thought she was about to lose her too. When she's about to give up, she found hope. And Sam have found a way to talk to Jennifer even if she's in a coma.

I love the short, quick chapters that Patterson uses to keep the story flowing. I love the fact that scenes change quickly so that the reader never gets bored. And I love the characters that he has created: Jennifer, who needs love again so badly and is so scared to look for it again; Brendan, who loves so freely and completely with so much to lose; and Sam, who accepted what she could not change and found the strength to accept love when it was offered and never regret it. Sam's Letters to Jennifer is two beautiful love stories wrapped into one.

For One More Day

For One More Day by Mitch Albom is the story of a man who gets the chance to spend one more day with his mother, who died 8 years earlier. I bought it just last friday and was done with it by wednesday. Besides the fact that this book is only 197 pages long, you will be wrapped up from start to finish with the story that evolves around love and family. Mitch Albom was known for his books that doesn't need you to read so many pages and getting lost in the end. His was short but will really hit you straight right into the core of your heart. Mine, that is. This story will make you value more your family especially your Mom. It was for me, like the Five People You meet in heaven story. Still, it's as good as the first two. :)

There's always time in our life that we really screwed up so badly that we can't think of anything to straighten the mess up but to run away from it. I'm guilty about that. The thing is we can't run away from it. It's always best to face it no matter what because in the end everything will always be different from what you've had in that part of your life. It's only up to you to make that difference. It could make the matter better or worst depend on how you face it. Oh, I'm not good in anything about life. I'm still learning to swim and trying my very best not to drown. I guess with blogging, ive been leaving a few crumbs behind so when I look back, i'll know that at one point in my life, i look at my life straight and positive amidst of the chaos im into. But isn't it great that each day, you wake up to a brand new day not knowing what's in store for us, be it good or bad? That each day you tried your best to think of something different just to make things around you easier? I hope i'll be like this everyday. So I won't have to look back and think of the "woulda" and "coulda" in my life instead look forward to the brand new day.

And the things in my life that I so much hated doing but did it anyway for the sake of following my Mom *beside the fact that she's scary at that time not doing what she ordered you to do and the fact that im just a good kid hihihi*, none of it makes me regret where I am now. She had helped me make my life easier and without all the things she has done for me, I wouldn't probably see the goodness of my life even if im a product of a broken family. And the most important thing she'd ever done to me or to us, is standing up for us for about everything in this world even at times what she think is right for us makes us hate her. I lavyu mamee!

French Dinner ala Central Grove

Last night, my housemate Vinh prepared a french dinner for us. French were known to be so specific about their food. They like to spend much time preparing their food. I didn't know that French people doesn't like eating at fastfood like McDonalds. Vinh's personal reason was that it wasn't prepare the way food was prepared at the restaurants or hawker centers. He said his brother-in-law was worst. If it's american, he won't it eat it. If appliances are not european made, he won't buy it. I didn't know this kind of "culture", if you can call it, until I spoke to Vinh. Interesting.

Now to the dinner part. It broke my heart this morning when I learned that the pictures I painstakingly took last night wasn't in the SD card. I don't know what happen but everytime I took a picture, I viewed it afterwards. Oh well, what's lost is lost.

Our dinner started at about 10pm and we had smoked salmon for appetizer, french bread and a Wolf Blass 2003 White Wine. We forgot how long it has been there but the wine was still good. Though it wasn't advisable to keep wines for that long especially leaving it there lying around with poor temperature because some wines could taste like vinegar. That's why it is important for people who love wines to invest on a wine cooler. This is a good site for Proper Wine Storage. Half hour later, Vinh served us the "saumon en papilotte" or salmon on paper. For this he uses a foil instead of paper where he put the salmon, garlic, mushroom, pepper, salt, basil leaves and cream and baked it until it was cooked. It was really easy. After the salmon and salmon appetizer and main dish, we rested for a while. It was like eating in a restaurant! A 5-course at home! Vinh served the cheese, which french was really known for loving cheese so much. The day before, we asked him not to buy the really smelly cheese hehehe. Not yet anyway. He bought a square cheese instead and whew it was smelly. Yuccckkkk! I was the only one who wasn't going to try the cheese so I gave in. I took a bite *super small size*, closed my eyes and swallowed the cheese. Mmmmm, it's good hehehehe. I tried another one, this time much bigger than the first, waaaaaaa it's really good. Just don't smell it hehehe. He said it was like durian. Don't try to smell it first. Eventually you'll get used to the smell. Durian, a really big no. But with cheese, this is OK. By the time the dessert was served, all were already full. But we still did devour Vinh's amandine aux poires. Baked pear with egg, sugar, almond, butter. He put vanilla ice cream beside the sweet dessert and the taste complements each other. Yummy. We end up our meal with a cup of black coffee. Everyone was really full especially me. I end up vomiting on our toilet, hehehe.

Dinner was perfect. First housemates dinner since Ally's replacement, Edward, arrived. Yeyyyyy! Merci, monsieur Vinh. Tres Bon! Je ne parle pas francais. Hihihi.

Today's High: Learning something about french's culture and food. Bonding with housemates.

Life is so ironic

That, my friends, is my YM's status today.

"we may not fully understand the reason why some things happen and when it does, that we have to be strong and always be positive inspite of the pain we felt, but GOD never fail to put something good for you at the end of it all. He's the only one who knew that reason so when this painful moment knock into our door it is ok to be weak at times but always know that GOD never want to hurt us. It might be something that we encounter because of our own doing but it's always something that makes us stronger in the end. No better words can alleviate the pain but let's not forget that there's no mountain that is too high that we can't climb." 

Hapag ng Pagasa

Tonight, as we watched the Probe, they feature a certain painter, Joey Velasco who shows his outstanding paintings. One of the paintings was the "hapag ng pag-asa" where he painted the Last Supper replacing the apostles with the streetchildren. Normally my reaction to this kind of thing would be different. But his paintings are remarkable and shows nothing but pure love with Jesus' face beside an innocent child. He's truly an author and a painter. It's really a wonder how God works for people to see that there's more in life to be grateful. His talent is one thing. But the way he uses it in accordance to what GOD really wants is huge. 

Que Pasa

During my lets-party-all-night-long-every-week days, I'd go for more-noise-kind-of-party. I love dancing so much and partying all night during the weekends. I'll go on a ladies night on a wednesday and go home at 4 or 5 in the morning then sleep at most for 2 hours then come to work. I do smoke but occasionally. And that occasion is every week :) I think it's true that you'll get over the hype in time. I still do go out at times. But now, I can't stay in a bar with much noise and too much smoke that long. And so I hang out now *sometimes* to this kind of bars where you can relax and drink and dine and not much noise around. This may still count as clubbing or partying but socializing with friends sometimes is ok hehehe.

I used to go to emerald hill with friends but usually at Ice Cold Beer only. They are selling 3 beers for 20 dollars. They also sell San Mig Light :) It is way cheaper than going to other bars. I usually come to ICB just for the chicken hehehe. It's good. And the pizza too. When a friend of mine invited me for a wine at Que Pasa and tried their tapas or beef stew with the bread, my thought was that Ill go back there next week. Since I am not much of a beer person, Que Pasa has been my favorite place now. Im not a wine expert. All i know is i can drink one and tell the difference of what's good and what's not on my taste buds. I first started with a cabarnet sauvignon and with its fruity taste, since then it's the only one I always take whenever I go out. Only then when we brought vinh's sister and brother in law to Que Pasa that Ive known that wines are known for the places they were made not by the flavor of it. He was french and his father owns a winery in france. The first bottle he ordered was really good. Forgot where it's from but it costs about 100 bucks per bottle. It's not strong and has a fruity taste. And meant for the ladies who doesn't want to taste the alcohol. Maybe next time, I'll try to write down the kinds of wine Ive tasted and blog about it :) Oh in Que Pasa, you can order wines per glass and it's not always by the bottle. It's cheaper though to order a bottle if there are 6 persons sharing. You can get the $60 bottle so it'll be like $10 each only. Their glass is at $13 for the one on their "bottle menu". I was actually thinking of copying this idea for our wedding hehehe. If you get the premium ones, expect to pay more moolah of course. And don't forget to order the tapas, it's the best to go along with your wine. Yum!

The ambience outside is ok too. A bit bright Ill say. But inside is really cosy. It's like you're being transported to a winery. The wall is decorated with really big bottles of wine and an old place feeling. The other side was the wall filled with empty bottles of wine. Ive never been to their "upper deck", though. Try it once :)
for me to hangout especially when you're a wine lover.

Ally's Farewell

Ally, our housemate, left today for Hong Kong. He got a better job and a better pay, I guess. It was really sad to know that whenever you find the right and perfect housemate saka naman aalis. BUT living in a foreign land is like that. People come and go in your life. Hmp, I don't want this to be really dramatic pero I'm really sad to see him go. It is one the many reasons why I opt for a guy to live with us. It's much more sentimental and too emotional if i ever get close to a girl. Higher expectations pa. We'll really miss you, Ally! *sniff*

So, last night, we had a farewell dinner for Ally at the Tapas Tree in Clark Quay. At first, it was suppose to be 4 of us only. Then it became 9. Ally brought her sister - kiki, Vin invited 3 friends - Kaoutar, Bertrand, SiWei, Lorena. United Colors of Benetton! Ally and Kiki from Mauritius. Vin, Bertrand and SiWei from France, shempre noypi, kami ito, and Kaoutar from Holland *she said she's a moroccan*. Everyone had a blast. All of us enjoyed the night, i think i did. All we do was laugh at *mostly* Vinh and Rommel's jokes. A fabulous evening.

We had sangria, bread with butter, calamare, salmon, squid (something), gambas and seafood paella! Sarap! The food is great! After our dinner, Si Wei has to go back home and the rest of us went to Que Pasa in Emerald Hill. Oh yeah, everyone's feeling a little spanish-y, ole ole! We had one bottle of Paso Robles Cabernet Sauvignon which is a little strong but gets ok once you consume half of your glass. Went home afterwards to drink and drink and drink some more! We finished around 2 in the morning since most have to work. Vinh, Ally, Rommel and me was left in the living room talking about anything. Too bad we never do this thing often. We have to find a reason to do things like this with friends when you really don't need to. And Im glad we had the dinner farewell. We get to meet another set of friends and we truly appreciate each other as housemates. Maybe we could visit Ally either in Hong Kong or Mauritius :) See you, Ally!

I did enjoy the company of Kaoutar. She's really pretty but she's way cool to be with. And we love taking pictures of all the detail of the events hehehe. She said Im her soulmate because finally she found someone with much enthusiasm when it comes to photos. I always tease her after our pictures were taken, she was like "how is it? how is it?". And she's so funny how she can relate with Vinh and Rommel's green jokes. Lucky you, Vinh!

Today's High: reminiscing last night's blast
Today's Low: saying goodbye to a good housemate/friend, stuck with what im doing at work

Malacca Road Trip

We nearly had 3 hours sleep and yet we managed to wake up on time without rushing. We thought of getting breakfast at McDonalds in Bugis but sadly, it was still closed even if the sign says that it opens at 7 in the morning. We were there quarter past 7. Haaayyy. We cross the street and found one hawker who just started to open. We had beehon. Miss ko tuloy beehon sa hdb huhuhu. Went to Lavender MRT to meet the rest of the group. Luckily for us, we weren't the last ones to arrive hehehe. Call time is at 8am and the bus leaves at exactly the same time. 30 Minutes before 8 everyone was there except Ami. Naku si ami talaga. We did managed to come on time na rin.

On board the bus to Melacca, we slept until it stops for the stopover for our brunch. The travel time i think was more than 2 hours. Malaysia's food is really cheap compare to Singapore. Just don't expect the toilets to be as clean as Singapore. No tissue and all of them had the squat bowls. After 20 minutes of quick brunch, the journey continues for another 2 more hours.

We reached malacca central a little past 12. All of the teksi (malay term for a cab) was calling us and quoting us 50 ringgit for an hour travel to A Famosa. Good thing Boss had been there and thought it was waayyyy expensive but I reckon he was kinda hesitant too if it was the real price. We had lunch muna *kain na naman* at a chicken rice resto. And we had a taste of Malacca's famous Chicken Rice Ball - a golf-ball size flavoured rice ball best served with steamed chicken meat dipped in sesame oil and sauce. It is one of the many delicacies found locally. For almost 7 years of my stay in Singapore, though I am not one of those chicken rice lovers, I haven't found any store selling rice balls. I wonder why not a single store copied it. I found on the net a few of the popular ones that sells chicken rice balls in Melacca are to be found near Jalan Hang Jebat or Jonker Street. Few restos like Hoe Kee Chicken Rice at No. 4 Jalan Hang Jebat, Chop Chong Hwa at Lorong Hang Jebat and Famosa Chicken Rice Ball Restaurant at No 28-30 Jalan Hang Kasturi. We didn't have the luxury of time to check out all the interesting places in Melacca since we only had 4 hours to check out the place so we went straight to the Fort A Famosa. (famous in portuguese)

We managed to find a bus going to the town for only 15 minutes and at a price of 1 ringgit each! That's about 50 cents (singapore dollar). Highway robbery compare to what the taxi driver offers of an hour drive at 12.50 ringgit each per person. Grrrr!

When we reached the place, it was like we've been transported to someplace else. There's so much to see but we didn't managed to see everything. We didn't get to see the inside of the Christ Church or the Stadhuys that houses the historical museum. We did went up the hill to see the breathtaking scene of St. Paul's Church. Ubos oras lang taking pictures pero we never get the chance to contemplate on the beauty of the place. I'll ask ffg to go back to this place again because I felt like there's so much of this place to see. It was far different from other places Ive been in Malaysia. It felt safe although it's still safer to be vigilant of your things. But here, I don't felt threaten at all of getting robbed. Not there's too much to robbed from me hehehe. We had a lot of fun though taking pictures and fooling around. But it's really hot and you'll need a lot of evian face mist, water, face towel, tissue, wet wipes, sunglass, hat to protect your face and sun protection. I didn't managed to apply sun protection at least for the face huhuhu.
Sayang ang likas papaya hahahaha. After only two hours of checking out the place, we went back to the Melakka Central. Had a yummy meal at A & W. Sarap! Chicken, Rootbeer float, yummy! Wish ko lang Singapore will have A & W restaurant na.

We board the bus at exactly 6pm and took long hour drive going back to Singapore. After more than 4 hours drive, we're finally home again. We had coffee at Starbucks sa Bugis muna minus Bebit, Rak, Isa and Kyuti. I ordered fries for myself and Yanah. Ffg craved for a soup so he had one that he bought across the bugis. At almost 10 minutes close to midnight, we call it a day. We took the MRT home, had shower and dozed off.

For this trip a few helpful tips I could give:
1. Info about the place => Malacca
2. We paid (SGD) $32 for return trip to Malacca taking a bus at Lavender.
3. We have extra 70 ringgit (about $35 singapore dollars) from our previous trips to Malaysia, so we didn't exchange any money for the trip. If you'll be there just for a day without any hotel to spend to, I think 50 ringgit is enough for 2 person for the whole day meal.
4. Light carry only but be sure to bring tissue, wet wipes, evian's face mist, water, face towel, crackers, sun protection, hat, sunglass and an extra shirt.
5. Pictures from our lumix => Rhonny's Lumix
6. Pictures from Boss' Evolt => Boss' Evolt - Scenery
6. Pictures from Boss' Evolt => Boss' Evolt - Pitibifor

What I like now

. . . is to rest and just lay in our bed and sleep all day
. . . is to have at least 2 more weeks to finish all my things to do at work so I won't have to do overtime which ive been doing for the past few days
. . . is to have money magically appear before me so I can send it over to my family and pay my bills
. . . is to have at least a week spared to do my laundry, fix our messy room, get things done from my list of to do's, and sort my wedding magazines
. . . is to trade my iPod Nano with an iPod Video *hehe*
. . . is to travel anywhere for at least a week

i sigh a deep breath wanting to get things done with just one blink of an eye. i close my eyes and say a silent prayer to give me strength. to be patient. to get more love. the things i want are always the easy way. i guess the best thing to ask is to be contented with whatever is in front of me and just ask for happiness to do whatever it is that i need to do. may it be the hardest thing or the easiest one.

at the ground floor where i work is a pre-school and every morning, i get to see those happy little faces with their naiveness and eagerness to learn. and then i look back. i've been in IT for exactly nine years now. seven of which ive been doing programming, thinking of best possible solutions to whatever problems thrown at us. im not saying that i never enjoyed it. i did. but for that long time and seeing how these kids look up to their teachers makes me think what if i change my career? i love being around kids. i love playing games that's nonsense to most. i love the feeling of someone looking up to me. i love when anything i say matters and felt like it was always a good thing if it came from me. i know it wasn't easy as well to be a teacher. kids these days were different. am i suitable for this?

other part of me really wanted to be a model. i know it wasn't as glamorous as i see it. but i just like to think that i am. kahit sa dreams lang. but at least, i don't need to think solution for someone's problem. oh well.

i guess things are just getting monotonous. waking up in the morning, taking a bath, taking mrt then bus to work, go home, eat dinner then sleep. well, i still love my life. i have a lot of good things to look forward to. haaayyyy.

Sweetest Moment

When things are unexpected
Or moments are not planned
When you don't have to be at your best
Or wear something finest
Relish the moments
Capture them in your heart
You'll never know
When this will happen again

Trying to be good on a Good Friday

Good Friday in Singapore is a no-work holiday, thank God. But for us it wasn't a holiday at all. We did what we always did every year - the "Visita Iglesia" or Church Visitation, which was a Holy Week Tradition in the Philippines. When I was a kid, every Holy Thursday my Mom would always drag us to 14 different churches and say a prayer to each Stations of the Cross. It was one of the many things that we religiously do with Mommy every year aside from going to Quiapo Church every last friday of the month and every year of the 9th of January celebrating the fiesta ng Quiapo. Of course, back then, it was just something that I do because I was always looking forward to the "reward" of a meal sa Jollibee afterwards. When I got to Singapore, wala ng Jollibee to look forward too, wala ng makulit na mommy who would drag you to go with her even if you're still half-asleep. But I still manage to continue the tradition with ffg (and i thank god so much for giving me someone like him). Now were here in Singapore, We do this on a good friday since this is the only day that was declared as a holiday. And since there's not much Catholic churches to go around or are near to each other. So we end up visiting 7 churches and pray two stations of the cross for each. As my mom would always say, this is somehow the closest we could get to feel what Jesus have gone through. It's not all, but at least a little part of it. Now I understand the importance and meaning of it in my life. I just can't imagine if we really walk all the way to all 7 churches without food and water at all. And each prayer to each station helped me reflect on the mistakes that Ive done. As for the churches, we started at Toa Payoh's Christ the King then Novena Church, then St Bernadette at Zion Road near Great World City, then Sacred Heart at Tank Road near Clark Quay, then Church of Sts Peter and Paul at Queen Street near Bugis, then St Joseph Church at Victoria Street, then last was Cathedral of the Good Shepherd where we usually go every sunday. It was tiring but worth it. We had dinner at Magic Wok at City Hall afterwards. Sobrang hungry hehehe. Then we went to DXO (ooopppsss, don't worry we didn't go there to parteehhh) to get the Rivermaya's concert tickets given to us by Ryan. Galing front act sila :) We had banana tempura or "maruya" *super thanks ami for introducing this to me hehehe* and kofi then went home after.

So, if you have plans of doing Bisita Iglesia the next year, better do it around 3pm as most of the churches closes at 6 or 7. And for your info here are the list of churches => http://www.veritas.org.sg/cdir.php

Life..... the way others see it

I was reading Bianca's blog and certainly agree about what she write about life. I truly admire the way Bianca looks at life even at a young age. For those who doesn't know Bianca, she's now enjoying her life being a celebrity *of course in the philippines* after her few months stay sa Bahay ni Kuya (Big Brother's House) - one of the many reality shows. 'Niwey, here's what a friend of hers said, "everyday i wake up, and just to be alive and free is such a blessing. everything else is a bonus. if we appreciate life like that, suddenly we're so thankful for what we have and not sad about what we don't have." So true, right? There are times that I felt so weak because I always felt like Ive been deprive of the things or power that I can use to be able to help my family. That I always lack of the things I need to be able to surpass a dilemma in my life without wanting to run in a far away place and leave things behind. The thing is, I always look at the holes in my life, the things that I don't have in my hand to be able to fill up that holes, not trying to do things or solve problems just because Im focusing on what other people have that I dont. And stumbling upon things like this, simple lines like this, awakes me somehow. I won't give up. Never. Thanks Bianca. You may not know me or any other people in the world that were able to read your blog, but you have helped a lot of people with just few minutes of sharing what you know and what your everyday life like. I am not one of those who admires celebrities just because they are famous. I admire people for what they are and how they see life. I judge people by the way they construct their first few sentences.

Sabado Nights

We went to Orchard to settle the payment for the ring *yipeee* then went to Cathay to book 11.30 pm movie (Breaking and Entering). Obvious ba na movie addictus talaga kami? Even if we're on a tight budget at the moment, watching movie will always be part of our routine. Iba pa rin pag big screen. For us, this is our stress-reliever. Went to Marina, bought a screen protector for our new member - Mr. Lumix and a casing, then watched a fashion show. Hunky mga models hehehe kakalaway nyahahhaha. Went to Gluttons Bay afterwards to have dinner and see Barbie Almalbis perform at the Mosaic Festival. Pero before Barbie's performance, we saw this band (Sasha Bach) performing that we later on found out that they're from Denmark. Galing! First time ko makawitness ng band na puro puti hehehe. Galing ng drummer *cute pa hihihi*. Parang snow patrol dating wohoooo. Saya saya! *borrow lang cuz hihihi*

Today's High: Wedding Ring paid na yipee, watching concert, watching movie
Today's Low: Tumataba daw ako waaaaaaa

The pursuit of Happyness

We had a voucher for two tickets at Cathay Cinema stashed for some time now. Well, two weeks hehehe. So last night we used it to watch The Pursuit of Happyness. Shempre pa as expected, it will be a miracle if I got out of a sad movie without crying. It was a good movie that could make you laugh, cry and think how important it is to be determined and persevere happiness in life even if it looks so impossible to achieve. This is a true story of Christopher Gardner who struggles to make ends meet. Watch it na lang. It also shows how someone could be so passionate about getting things way impossible to reach for his son. Kaiyak talaga :(

Life is really difficult. For each day, you'll find a dilemma and make things work but yes, it always has been better and you were able to get few things done. Though there were some that you can't help but let go because it's not meant to happen, but in the end you tend to forgot about it after few months. With God's help and the love you have for your family. Being weak in the midst of it doesn't mean you're weak. Just never learn to give up. *san nanggaling yun?*

Ok back to the movie, Will smith's real-life son, Jayden is adorable :) He can act at a young age. Cutie talaga :) And he act so natural.

The pursuit of Happyness was mispelled intentionally. It was seen from Chris Gardner's son's day care to which the teacher explained that it was a poster made by the children.
Teacher: The most important thing is the real happiness students feel while creating the poster, never mind the spelling. That, inspires Chris Gardner to pursuit the happiness.


Today's High: everything is possible. just be ready for the consequences bec there are times that it's really not meant to be

Today's Low: life is so messed up that it's really impossible to straight things out without you trying hard to achieve it

God's countless blessings

Talk about God's blessings! For 6 years, God had blessed us for so many things. Particularly ffg, since he joined the company, there were times that he had been winning prizes from his company's raffle draw. It's not just luck. It's God's blessings to us though we know that we don't deserve any of it. His grandest was our trip to Hawaii back in 2003 and we were really really happy and thankful about it. Few weeks ago, for their post Chinese New Year event, he won a hamper. Last week, for one event, a cocktail party, he went home with an iPod shuffle - door gift lang yun ha! Then just last saturday, for their IT Dinner and Dance, he won a Panasonic Lumix digital camera! It has been ages that we were talking about replacing our old reliable Fujifilm digital cam (also won from a raffle hehehe) but couldn't find the "extra" money amidst our wedding related expenses. Though I was able to buy a samsung digital camera for my family at the IT show (pampalubag loob for getting ditched by my friends - mangiwan ba?!?!), we were still thinking if we could get ourselves one. But thanks to God, that didn't happen. We were able to replace our old digital camera at no cost :) Yipeee!

Life's worth

Last wednesday, when we attended the 6.30 pm mass at Good Shepherd, i think it was the very first time it struck me the true meaning of Ash Wednesday and the Lenten season. I knew why placing ashes on the foreheads means so much and i knew it was a sign of humility before God, a sign that you have made public confession of your sins, in simple words it is a day of reflection on what needs to change in our lives as a devoted Christian. It is the beginning of a forty-day liturgical season called Lent. We, christians know about it since we were young as it has been told either by our parents or at school. While listening to the homily, it just struck me how sinful I've become. How I've been lost to the right path of life. How I've done so many bad things that if it were to be confessed to ordinary people like me, i will be arbitrated. And then what the priest said, made me think why couldn't I do fasting this time? I had enough reason to do it now, not just following the meaning of it but living the real essence of it. You know what i mean? Blogging about it doesn't mean im bragging about it. I just want to at least have a memoir to go back to if there'll be another time in my life that i'll get lost again. I am now abstaining from something that I know I can't live without. I know it can't and it won't change the way things were before I committed those sins, but it's my way of showing God how sorry I am for hurting Him and hurting those people I love. I just hope that by this way that I've seen the error of my ways, I will never find the path again and make the same mistakes. It's hard to live your life doing the right things when those things seem to be dragging you to the wrong end rather than the right one. *hinga malalim*

Today's High: Was able to do few steps from my workload. It has been making me miserable for the last few days for not solving a very simple dilemma.

Today's Low: Attended a 2 and a half hour meeting which spells B-O-R-E-D!

Adjustments

When you've worked in a company for six years, that feeling of being slightly "siga" was there. You're confident with the things you do and all you need is to meet that deadline. You know the path you're walking into. You know how to deal with every single boss whom you think needs anger-management and with attention-grabbing syndrome. You know every single rule. You've come to deal with the fact that you're working in a company that as strict as a school - that is working at exactly 8.30 until 6.00 and follow the rules, no internet access or any privileged, no internal email (talking bout myself only), agent that doesn't pay your CPF and no wandering around during office hours. I abide by the rules. I got comfortable sitting in a wooden chair and lounging at a "papag". But now that I've chosen to increase a few bucks from my last salary and wanting to gain experience and learn different things from what I currently do, that feeling of idiocy and people belittling my capacity (I guess it's just my feeling) is now on. I have to do major adjustments again like what I did 6 years ago. Or was it just a month ago? Can't explain with all the blessings Im facing now. Can't explain how blessed I am with colleagues who are nice and helpful, with my work schedule that I can come to work past 9 or close to 10 and go home at past 6, with the internet connection that i've been dreaming to have for the longest time. Gain a few friends. Im just hoping that I can do whatever it is "the bosses" asked me to do. And meet the deadline! Yes! That's my wish. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. 

Blabbering fool

There are times in your life when part of your past is running after you, haunting you, hitting you in the face with something that is long forgotten. No one ever intended to hurt anyone but there are times that you have no choice but to go after that choice where it will cause lesser pain than the other. As far as I know, I've explained why things happened. And I never hurt someone without inflicting that pain on myself. I am always part of that pain. Sigh. Just let it go.