One's assessment

i've reached a quarter of my life 

and i thought of what have happened in the past 

the things ive done, 

the things i didn't do 

the dreams and achievements 

and the endless quandaries 

what have i become in all those years? 

have i done things that could make Him proud of me? 

did i make my mom proud? 

did my family felt the warmth of my love for them? 

have i failed to show my love for the people around me? 

in all those years, each time i looked back 

i saw things that i failed to be a better person 

things that at times deprives me of my willingness to go on 

things that i blame others for not understanding me 

when all sides of it is really wrong 

things that made me lost a lot because i let them happen 

and yet there were things too, that made me stronger 

things that i always looked forward to each day of my life 

things that at times make me proud of what ive become 

things that made me greatful for what others have done to me 

those precious little things that make me see the goodness of life 

maybe life isn't just how you make it to be 

it's already designed the way He wanted it to be 

it's up to you how you would play your part 

and how you would live things the way it's all laid up

Jeffrey

I'm so fond of reading novels but I have this thing for reading almost all of the titles from the same author. It's really rare that I will get one from the shelf with no idea of who the author is, unless, of course, it will be on the best seller aisle. So, when we move in to our new place, I had the chance to assess all of the books that I have at home and realize that there were some that I haven't read yet and forgot that I bought it on one of the book sales I always go to. And one of them was Jeffrey Archer's "A Twist in the Tale". I didn't know he was good too so when I saw in Carrefour that they were having a book sale and saw another Archer's, I immediately grab it. And I really like the way he vividly describe each event in the story and you'll feel like you're part of it. I'm reading now the "False Impression". It's really good. I don't know if being in Serangoon now is a good thing because I've finally got myself back into reading. On my list of books to buy/read... 1. John Grisham's The Innocent Man 2. John Grisham's Playing for Pizza 3. Harry Potter's last book *though I've bought it months ago, haven't got the time to read it yet* 4. James Patterson's Cross

The Ceremony

We arrived 30 minutes earlier before the mass. I was told to stay in the car so no one will see me yet. I was getting nervous and very much high in anticipation. I thanked the Lord for He have helped us fulfill the only wish I couldn't let go - to have our closest friends be with us in the church. When everyone was inside, I was left outside thinking if everything back in the reception is ok. If we didn't left anything out that's too important. I know that there are a lot of things that didn't go as planned but there were no regrets or resentments for that matter in my heart. He showed me that the significance of the event is not just about the material things. When the door started to open, I see a glimpse of what my future would be. And at a pace of taking one step at a time, walking towards the altar, I see nothing but the sparkle of the soft light at the altar and the smile of the people i love looking at me with much happiness in their hearts. Halfway through, I saw my parents waiting for me. Just like how they've been with me through all the events in my life. Ready to give up their first-born child. But what God made me really see that time was the person on the other end side of the church. The person who can't looked at me, busy trying to hold up his tears. The person I've shared unforgettable moments with for nine years. The person I was about to spend the rest of my life with... more kodak moments

A year of preparation

We started booking for the church in July 2006 and started scouting for possible suppliers in september. The wedding date that was suppose to be august 25 became september 1. We managed to book the church, reception venue, caterer and coordinator at this early stage. I was really excited and started collating the flyers I got from the wedding expo when we went home for a short vacation in manila. We initially wanted to have a budget wedding where guests will enjoy themselves and remember the wedding as fun yet elegant affair. I never liked games that abashed the singles whenever I attend a wedding and I initially want this out of the program. I want our program to be just meant for dinner and dance without the tiring traditional cake cutting and toasting. I don't want any of our family to talk in front to make us cry. We want it to be purely fun in the reception. Emotional scenes should be left in the ceremony only as this is where the solemnity of the event truly lies. I started doing the save-the-date cards with a wishful thinking that it would help us save a big part of our wedding. Little things that I wanted to add in that small card that went unnoticed by others had amass a huge amount in our budget. So the idea of doing the invitation by myself was rejected by Rommel. Still, the year of preparation have given us enough time to prepare financially and mentally for what we're about to face.

Civil Wedding

In Singapore, church wedding is very very rare to happen. Aside from the fact that there's not much catholic here, it is also really expensive to do the church wedding. Though they have one option which is the civil wedding or ROM (Registry of Marriage). We agreed to have one only for the purpose of getting the marriage certificate in preparation for our church wedding since we don't want any hassle of applying one in manila. So on the 25th of January, year 2007, we took a cab, half an hour late, and went inside the Registry of Marriage, and was out 15 minutes later. Ceremony was only 10 minutes, the other 5 was for I don't know what. It was still fun. We had dinner with friends after the ceremony and things happen really fast. =) Here are the Kodak Moments

Much awaited proposal

After numbers of countries we've travelled together, friends who got married, had kids, and 8 years later, we finally decided that it's now time to take our relationship into the next level. Though for us, this is still a big step, some doesn't have that much enthusiasm as we do. For some, they feel like it's a project way overdue and doesn't feel like celebrating it. Some, especially our families, still share the same excitement. Still, we took things at its slowest pace to fully appreciate the taste of the ecstacy it will bring. It was January in 2005 that we decided to choose the date for the big day. Proposal came only in December of the same year. I was busy preparing my things at their place when he asked me to go with him at the rooftop of their home. The moment we got there, I instantly asked him to go back to the room since it was the middle of the afternoon and it was really humid. No idea, really, that I have ruined part of his plan. When we got to the room, he pointed a box on top of the pillow and asked me to open it. For years, whenever I see a box I always felt agitated, thinking that it contains the ring that i've been waiting for. But that box, never made me feel that way. Maybe because I was expecting a candle lit dinner and a romantic ambiance and not in his sister's room in the middle of the afternoon. I opened it and looked at the ring twice and asked him a couple of times if he's serious. He asked me to marry him and of course, I said yes with eyes full of tears and heart filled with gladness. Few months after, I asked him if he could do the proposal in a romantic way thinking that it will be the best story I could tell to my children and grand-children. He took back the ring and didn't say a word. I'm really a pain his ass :P August of 2006, he surprised me with a cable car dinner in sentosa and did the proposal again for the second time. And I realize, though it's romantic, the impact of the surprise is more on the first time. Well, at least now, I have two stories of the proposal to tell my grandchildren :) Btw, he told me that he didn't do the proposal over a romantic dinner because he knows that it's what my expectation is and the element of surprise won't be there. And yeah, he's totally right. =)

The story of us

I have once lived in my fairytale fantasy of finding my own prince charming. One who will take me out of my solitude. One who's so perfect in the way he talk and the way he smile, who's so blessed with all the richness of the world and intelligence that could make me learn a lot of things and of course, a prince wouldn't be a prince if he's not good-looking. But as I grew up, I realize that none of the qualities i was looking for could be found in one person only. I've been in relationships but none of it made me look forward to spending my lifetime with them. I guess, back then, I was still looking for my prince charming. Until I started working for a company I had no idea how my resume managed to land in the HR's desk. I noticed him on my first week and just became friends with him only after few months. We became close only after exchanging lyrics of songs through internal email and chatting in AOL and number of times we went out for a friday gimik with our other friends. Almost everyday, I was always looking forward coming in the office, always expecting him to touch my cheeks which he always does whenever he pass by on my cube. He was sweet and thoughtful giving me chocolait and crackers which he knows were my favorite, lending me his own jacket, and greeting me good morning through email everyday. We became closer and closer though back then we're still trying to be as discreet as possible, afraid of the office tsismis and of course the office regulations. But after all the struggles we've been through, we only became official in January of 1999. We were both offered a job in Singapore a year after and from then on, we continue our lives together. And I figured out, that finding your own prince charming isn't just about the looks or the intelligence or the palace he lives in. Your prince charming is that someone who could give you "kilig" moments, whom you could talk to and listens to you, who could give you strength when youre weak, who could be your only friend when everyone turns their back on you, who could have that patience when you're throwing tantrums, who encourage you everytime you're confidence is at its lowest and who could make you feel like a princess and the fairest of them all even if your own reflection doesnt think so. And I was glad and thankful to God, for I have found my own prince charming. :)

Marge Simpson

I like this! I think first time I see Marge Simpson in a really skimpy dress and it look so good on her. I just saw it from chuvaness blogsite. Hope you don't mind, girl.

Hey you!

If you're within the circle and you know that's something's not right that is happening around you, what would you do? Would you take an action about it? Would you take the initiative to confront the things that's making not just you but everybody else seem uncomfortable? It doesn't need you to talk to the others, it just take one look to see what's really happening. Sorry, girl, but I can't stop it. I may not have the right to say nasty things about you, but you as well doesn't have the right to make things uncomfortable for your friends. Think about what you're doing now. Think about what's it's causing everybody else. If you really know me, do you think it's right for me to confront them. Or just be nonchalant about it? Do I have the right? Hell, yeah. I always have the right if something's making me uncomfortable. It may be their life to run only if they try not to be so obvious about it, I wouldn't mind at all. I won't really care. And I don't think anyone would mind at all. I'm really a bitch, am I? :D

Mizunderstood

Honestly, I did or still am a bit puzzled. Your actions remains a puzzle to me. For something that may really mean different to you but to us, at least to me, it's like re-reading the last chapter of your life. I tip toed and tried to really stretch my hand for you *yoga ito* to reach it out but I guess I don't have that "factor" you were looking for. At a distance, I am observing. Few had tried to do the same thing as I did but I guess none of us fits the description. I don't know why it matters to me. Maybe because there's a reason I alone can't explain. I guess this is what muggles called "concern". I just hope that I'm wrong and being bitchy the way I really am.

Thoughts

How often do we met someone, had fun with them for a few moments and bid adieu after a few months of realizing you're really enjoying that person's company? Was it how ironic life could get? When you were having a hard time finding bliss to few who's gonna be around for a long time and enjoying so much with another who won't be able to stay for so long. Or was it just because you're truly having fun for now because you haven't had the time to really know the person? Which one you'd rather be? You're truly missed, your royal highness :)

Happy Birthday, Bebi!

Wohoooooooooo! Feeling spcial day din ang araw ko hehehe. We went to Raku Zen lunchtime. Libre nya ko hehehe. It was a good place to eat but really expensive. We ordered their special lunch promo of $12 which is not bad because it can be shared by two people, with sushi, rice, tori karaage and unlimited glass of hot green tea. But when the bill arrives, $25 inabot. Only additional we had was the strawberry ice which was frozen with vanilla ice cream inside. But food-wise, it was all worth it. It's just not the everyday kind of meal because of the price. After work, I changed into a dress to surprise rommel and although I know that he's expecting it, I was glad that he enjoyed the food at The Oriental. We had dinner which I reserved few days ago. We were there at a little past 8. It wasn't as romantic as Swissotel or the Four Seasons BUT I will definitely recommend this place to my friends. This was the most sulit buffet we've ever been to. Although the main course was kind of limited to asian food like indian and thai, you'll get too much satisfaction from the other things they served. They have barbeque, sushi and sashimi, oysters, shrimps, salad, unlimited supply of fruits and dessert, choco fountain, waffle with ice cream, and the best part is, unlimited supply of coffee which was a really good coffee. Hayyy, just thinking back about it makes me hungry again and craving to go back in there. The service was really tops of excellent. They took a picture of us together and a minute later they gave the envelope card to ffg as their birthday present to him. And they served a small cake which I ask them to, foc. We were super happy with the food and the service. Bondat kami when we got out around 11. Almost 2 and a half hours of eating and eating. Waaahhhh, sira diet. We went to clarke quay, afterwards to meet joey. After half an hour of walking around and trying to find a good seat, we manage to find a good one at the kandi bar, smoking area. Huhuhu, back to yosi ulet ako. I asked Joey to try the mojito drink which was served with mint leaves, rum and lime. Sweet and Sour combination which I'm glad he like naman. I ordered white and bebi had bottle of beer. Before we finishes up our glasses, petit frere and Nadia came and then Kaoutar. We went to Taboo afterwards inspite of Rommel's super no hehehe. He gave in after everyone look at him with a puppy eyes look hehe. It was my first time to be there and at first, I was kind of hesitant and shocked hehehe. It's the first time in my life that I've ever been to a bar with 95% men and not a single one looks at me. The first time I've danced like hell with a guy and no one took advantage. Ang saya! The music is reaallllyyyy good and everyone was so nice. BUT, I don't think I'll be back that soon. Hehehe. I think I'm getting old that the thing I love the most which is dancing slowly deteriorates in front of me. I'd rather have a glass of wine now at Que Pasa than go to louder places. I'd rather have a cup of coffee and people watch or talk to my friends than look at them amidst of a very loud place but couldn't talk to them in a soft voice. Well, I guess that means, I've had enough of my gimik days. Time to move on to a more of an "auntie" ambiance hehehe. Went home a little past 3.

Bebi's Birthday Eve

After the movie, we went to the Loof, which by the way, is my first time, to celebrate the eve of my bebi's birthday. On our way, I was so ecstatic to see Kaoutar that I think I over reacted calling her name in a higher note to which I think really scared her at first hahaha. I was just excited to see her because I was still high from the fun times we had during my hen night. At the loof, it was so cozy and the drinks are not that expensive. As long as it won't rain, it will be so fun to hang out there. We toast for Rommel's birthday, game him my gift and call it a night after few hours. I am so blessed with someone who doesn't ask for more. I am blessed with someone who's so happy receiving a gift from me even if you know that it's not what he really wants. *maybe because he knows that if i gave him that gift it will make me rob a bank first hehehe* This is the first time that I think I didn't plan anything special or surprise for him. Due to deficiency in the finance department, I was limited to few choices of making his last birthday as a single a truly memorable one. And from this, I learned that no matter what my gift costs, to him it's always special. From now on, I'll buy cheap ones na lang hehehe.

Happy Birthday, Bebi! Aylabyu to bits!

The Simpsons

Homer Simpson must save the world from a catastrophe he himself created. First scene pa lang, it was soooooo funny na. Though, I admit that I hate watching itchy and scratchy scenes because I hate gory stuff and I don't find it funny when a head is being literally ripped off. And yes, even if it's in cartoons. BUT, I find Simpsons so funny. It eases my tension just laughing and laughing. Of course, it's not just Homer's stupidity that's making it a blast, each character contributes to the hit of the show. Each have something uniquely different and funny. Don't worry, there's nothing cheesy I can relate it to a real life. Haven't met any family like that. Wonder how it feels to know someone who is a good wife with a brilliant daughter like Liza, a crazy, attention seeker son like Bart, a baby who does crawl and shows in her own little ways that she's smart but never said a word for years that I've been following this show, and a can't-find-anything-good husband like homer. Or a neighbour like the flanders and a community like springfield with lots of crazy people. I don't know why it's so funny. You have to find out for yourself to fully appreciate it. What's making it funny and all. I was sooooo glad that I share the same interest with Rommel and what's more with my friends Joey and Halil.

Last Thursday . . .

The last few weeks, I've been too busy to blog. I've missed documenting some happy moments that came my way but at least I got pictures that will help me remind of those things. When I find the time to upload it, I will definitely post it here. Well, I don't know how you look at it, but in my opinion, I blog because I want others not to just know things that's happening to me and somehow reach out to friends who I rarely talk to, but to somehow, maybe, they would see their self in a position where I am and somehow try to learn something. Who knows, right? Anyway, just this week, petit frere along with Nadia and Rommel, planned a party that's so different from the ones we had in the past. It's a celebration of three birthdays with a them - a hollywood theme where everyone will be dressed up in formal attire. At first, I'll admit, I was like, wtf???, though I know that dressing up is my most favorite part, it still occurs to me that I'm dressing up for a birthday party, in our house! And at first, I thought none of our friends will come since it's not the pinoy style to have this kind of party. I give in since I don't have the right to say no, anyways. So, since wednesday, I've been spending my lunch hours and after work searching and searching for a cheaper dress. I forgot, that I'm living in Singapore. The cheapest elegant dress here you can get is about hundred bucks. Thursday night, finally had the courage to accept the fact that I'm really spending money for this occassion. *nag-share naman si ffg hehehe, whew!* I tried on few dresses and found one that's really simple yet elegant dress. But wasn't that excited about wearing it. It makes my tummy looks so big and I don't feel that comfortable in it. As I was waiting for ffg to see the dress that I've chosen, I've found one dress that exacly matches what I have in mind. Though, it's again in black, I think black dresses are elegant and really safe in matching any accessories and shoes and any occassion. After buying the dress, we went to Plaza Sing for dinner, then went to the Cathay to meet Joey and Halil to watch "The Simpsons". This one has to be on a different post. Basta it's so funny that there wasn't any minute that we weren't laughing. Katawa talaga. Well, super funny because all four of us were a die hard Simpsons fan talaga. I have to ask those who will tell me "Who was homer again? But it was really funny." Mga ganyang efek hehehe. I have to stop at this post, and continue with the others since the rest are all that special to post separately than writing it into one long post. I don't want to get blamed when your boss calls you and ended up laughing so hard because you're already cross eyed. Ngek, so korni. Believe me, it's funnier if I deliver it in tagalog. Err, what the hell nyehehehe. Be back for the next post!

When it rains, it pours

May mga oras na gusto mong tumakbo palayo sa mga bagay na nagbibigay ng bigat sa mundong ginagalawan mo pero hindi mo alam kung saan ka tutungo. May mga panahon na ang isa o dalawang suliraning nakalagay sa tig-isang balikat mo ay di pa sapat ang bigat at madadagdagan pa. May mga pagkakataong gusto mo ng sumuko pero ang pagsuko ay di kayang intindihin ng mga taong nakapaligid sayo. Ang pagiging mahina ang nakikita nila sa katauhan mo hindi ang mga sugat na pilit mong nilalabanan. Haayyyyy, ang drama. Lord, bigyan mo pa ko ng lakas at tibay. :(

Hen Night

It was held at our place in Aljunied. Hosted by my very beautiful sweet friend, Kaoutar. I just knew her from Vinh and been together on few parties but we both felt like we're really connected. Such a sweet gal, I must say and it was so sad that she'll be leaving singapore soon and go back to holland. Anyway, the party was sooooooooo fun. It was only Sangeeta, Nadya, Fiona, Kaoutar and me and it feels like there were too many of us enjoying and dancing the night away. When I got home from orchard, they asked me to change into my swim wear and asked me to wear a sarong. I felt like a hawaiian hehehe. They put make up on me, tied my hair, made me pretty for the night. It was so great. I didn't know being the star in a hen night was so much fun hehehe. They ordered pizza *flavored super mega spicy and tuna*. I like the tuna pizza and not bad for a first time "weird" flavor of pizza hehehe. We finished up 3 bottles of wine, and were dancing like crazy to every song played. Saya. And it was the first time I ever felt so drunk with wine. Maybe I just hit my limit and had too much. But it doesn't matter. We really did enjoy the night. Around 10, we went out to hit the bars. We went to Taboo first but didn't go in as the cover charge was too pricey. Sayang. It was a gay bar pa naman and I've never been in a gay bar hahaha. While we were walking, Kaoutar was really funny telling every person we met that I'm getting married and tells them to pose for a picture with me and give me kiss. And since we were in the gay area, as soon as she tells them that I'm getting married, she would ask them first if they're gay. Hahaha. One of the girls needed to go to the loo so we went inside a bar where there are a lot of ladies around. Nadya, Kaoutar and me dances with the pole when we saw it. The girls in the bar were all game and dances with us. *wild night hahaha* I recognize the other girl's accent as noypi. When we went out of the bar and said our goodbyes to the girls, I saw the bar's name was paro paro. Hehehe. Sus! We didn't had drinks so yeah we went in there just to dance while our other girl is in the loo. From there we went to Insomnia. No drinks but no one asks us to place our order. We were in the middle and dancing. My feet was starting to hurt but it was all ok. Kaoutar tells the cute singer, PJ, to congratulate me. Goodness hehehe public announcement. Yaiks. But fun hehehe. All the girls find PJ so hot. Maybe it's the wine, though I admit he was kinda cute hehehe. After the set, we went out and walked across the street and bought a bottle of water for a dollar and twenty which was being sold at seven dollars in insomnia. Buti na lang mga lumen mga kasama ko hehe. From there we went to Brix in Orchard and went back to Insomnia again when we found out that there is also a cover charge of $25 dollars. This time, there were only four of us minus Nadya since she have to go home. I kinda felt tired and was so sleepy. But too embarass to ask them if we could all go home. Kaoutar, being my nice girl, noticed how tired I am and told the rest if we could go home. She's soooo sweet. I love you girl :) She and Sangeeta went home with me to finish off the pizza. Unfortunately, I'm getting old that I feel the tiredness easily no matter how hard I tried not to. Kill-Joy, inis. I bid them goodnight and thanked them and hit the bed in less than a minute. It was really a fun night and I can't thank my gurl Kaoutar enough. It was the sweetest anyone has ever done for me. Muah! I'm going to miss you girl! Luv yah! And no we're not gay's or lesbians hehehe. Hmmm, are we??? Nadya was also sweet and I didn't know that she's so fun to be with. She was so quiet when we met her when she's still with Ally. And we never had the chance to party with her 'till now. It was a great pleasure meeting them. Though there's gap between our ages *2 years only? hahaha*, you can't seem to know by the way we make fun. Unfortunately, we can't show all the pictures as they were too "fun" hehehe. I'll be posting few as soon as Kaoutar sends me the pictures.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

As his fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry approaches, 15-year-old Harry Potter is in full-blown adolescence, complete with regular outbursts of rage, a nearly debilitating crush, and the blooming of a powerful sense of rebellion. It's been yet another infuriating and boring summer with the despicable Dursleys, this time with minimal contact from our hero's non-Muggle friends from school. Harry is feeling especially edgy at the lack of news from the magic world, wondering when the freshly revived evil Lord Voldemort will strike. Returning to Hogwarts will be a relief--or will it? There were a lot of good movies shown in the cinema this month, and most of them were too good to miss. It was already past 9 when ffg and I met at suntec for dinner at kenny rogers (both coming from work waaaaa) and the best way for us to relieve stress is to watch a movie so we decided to go to Cathay after dinner. Good thing there's still good seats left so we grab it. HP is not as exciting as reading it, they still managed to do a very good movie and I really love it. Though there were part of it that will bore you if you haven't watch the HP2 or read it. But for the enthusiasts, seeing it in flesh and not just imagining the things happening to Harry, is really something. It gives more life to the story or almost close to it. And my, they've all grown up so fast. Now I can't wait to see my favorite funniest and wackiest family on big screen. - The Simpsons!!!

Die Hard 4.0

On the July 4th holiday, an attack on the vulnerable United States infrastructure begins to shut down the entire nation. The mysterious figure behind the scheme has figured out every modern angle -- but he never figured on an old-school "analog" fly in the "digital" ointment: John McClane. No mask. No cape. No problem. Yippie kai yay. Oooohhhh, I so loved Bruce Willis. No matter how good or not so good the movies is, as long as it's his movie, I will definitely watch it. Well, aside from the fact that both me and ffg were solid movie addictus. Justin Long did a pretty good job being funny and scared at the same time. He's perfectly fit for the role and he's really adorable. Saw him first at the TV series, Ed, Crossroads and Jeepers Creepers. I love Maggie Q here. She's so pretty and oh so sexy. But i'm just beginning to get tired of hollywood films with asian women who were mostly sexy and pretty and knows how to kick some ass and die in the end. Just my two cents hehehe.

First Week High

Been busy and neglecting my blog for quite a while. But I will try to keep up, promise. From the parties and food trips and movies, I promise to try to remember them one by one and blog them. It's also for my own sake so I can look back to all the happy moments in my life, spending it with people who make me smile. But this one particular topic I want to blog about is how I survive my first two weeks at my new work. This was one company which didn't make it on my list of "want-to-work" place, but life is really ironic. Now that I'm here, I'm praying so hard to stay here for a long time hopefully, at least a year maybe? Hehehehe. I was given a workplace that was so far different from my first job here in singapore, was surrounded by those I really dreaded to be around with, but found myself not complaining about it. At least not bad for my first two weeks of stay there. Maybe because I really love what I'm doing now. Of course, I thank God for this another blessing. I have just a little bit of complain hehehe. Most of the people were too busy to say hi to a newcomer? Hehehe. Not that I want them to welcome me big time, it's just what most would expect if you know that 1/4 of the population is the same race as you. Oh well, maybe there's always an exception. Good thing ffg's working in suntec so at least 2 days out of 5, I'm not by myself. And now, mame ces and I talked about eating together every wednesday. I was so happy to see her again :)